What Is Worng With Me

5 Replies
Dani aka Kamries mommy - June 3

Well, let me start off by saying Kamrie is now 9 months old an I love her more than anything in the world. But here lately I just have not been feeling like my self. My husband is on the late shift at work for a few months which means he leaves the house at 2pm and gets home at 2 am, goes to bed at 3 or 4 and gets up around 11. Because of this I feel like I am a single mother. I am the one who has to do everything for her. Now, I just feel like I can not do it for one more day. I wake up in the morning with no energy and I am in a bad mood all day long. I get really tired of just being in the playroom all day long with her. I am a SAHM so we really dont have any extra money for me and her to go do things. I am only 21 and I know it sounds selfish but I just feel like I never got a chance to live my life. I started dating my husband at 18 got preg. at 19 and had her when I was 20. Her dad is now 28 and sometimes I feel resentful to him becuase he did gets to go out and do all of the fun stuff. I would love to have one night out but it just seems like too much work to try to find a babysitter that I trust, pump enought milk and all that other stuff. Well, I really just needed to vent but if any other moms have felt like this I would love to hear your story. Let me just say one more time, I love Kamrie so much, and wouldnt trade her for anything.

 

Ronni - June 3

I am sure you love your daughter soooo much and it is ok to feel tired and bored sometimes. you are very normal. And no you are not selfish to feel like you missed out on things, my goodness you are very young and having a baby means giving up your life (almost) for someone else. I am a new mom at 34 and I see how hard it is! Do you have any family that could watch your daughter so you could get a night out? What about during the day joining some mommy and me groups to meet other moms with kids. That would give you time to hang out with other girls. Where do you live? I am in NJ and just recently signed up for some mommy and me groups. These groups are freeor cost very little for some of the activities. Check out the website meetup.com go into the parenting section. : )

 

Rabbits07 - June 3

It is totally normal to want some "me" time. Just because you are a mom now doesn't mean that every aspect of your life has to include the baby. If you don't have a babysitter that you can trust to go out in the evenings, how about getting your husband to watch her while you get an hour or two out alone somewhere between 11 & 2? Even if it is just once every week or so it will do wonders for you! (you shouldn't have to pump more than one bottle for that amount of time and if you don't want to pump, a bottle of formula here & there won't hurt). You talked about waking in the mornings with no energy and being in a bad mood all day....that sounds like depression trying to set in. I would definitely try to get out of the house during the day. Some libraries have programs for little ones that are free. Even if yours doesn't, you may find that just taking her to the library and spending time with her, reading or whatever, in a different setting will make you feel a little better. Or try taking her to the park...sure she isn't old enough to play, but at that age they are amazed just to look at stuff in the outdoors and again I think you'll find it will lift your spirits, too. Check out any local museums, too. try checking out your town/city website and you may find there are alot of activities that you didn't even know about. Just because Kamrie is a baby doesn't mean she wouldn't enjoy 'grown-up' things. Back in December we went through this horrid time when 2 of our vehicles were broke down (leaving only the one hubby had to take to work). I was basically housebound for almost 2 months and I really got to the point that I thought I would go crazy. Plus, our refrigerator tore up, all of our food ruined, the weather was wreaking havock for dh employment (builds houses) I got really depressed and cried alot, but to be honest with you I think the worst of it was being stuck at home. Once my vehicle was fixed and I was able to actually get out I felt so much better! And I know how you feel about sometimes feeling like a single mom...dh works a regular job and we also have our own business so sometimes he is hardly ever home...but when he is home, if he decides to go to a friends house, he does. And I do get resentful sometimes. But since I've had our last baby I make sure that I get out at least once a week...and usually I just go walking through the park, but it makes me feel so much better. If I were you I would talk to the husband about getting some alone time....if he won't watch her then I would still try to get out with her sometimes through the week.

 

Marlene - June 3

I know exactly how you feel I am 19 and a single mother to my 3 month old son Malachi. It is very hard but I work so I get some kind of a break from him which I feel awlful for saying. Do you have other friends with children? I have a girlfriend who has a 6 month old and sometimes we just sit at each others house with the babies and talk. Its not much but to talk to someone else in a similar position. Also as a mother any age sometimes you need some me time. Ask for husband on one of his days off to keep Kamrie for two hours so you can go to the mall or catch a movie. Even if you dont buy anything sometimes you need to just get out.Sorry I caouldnt help you more just know you are not alone in feeling this way.

 

Dani aka Kamries mommy - June 3

Thank you so much for your advice. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I live in Ohio Ronni and I have been looking for some groups in my area but have yet to find one. I will be sure to check out that web site. Thanks again!

 

dedaa - June 3

Hello Dani, I know how you feel my husband is a poilce officer and it seems like he is always wroking he works the night shifts too he will wrok from 7pm till 5am so you can write him off for as long as he is doing those shifts i know that i won`t get to see him because he will sleep till about 6 the next day wake up in just enough time to take a shower and eat before he is gone again. I coun`t myself lucky if I get to take a shower b4 he is on his way again.I have 2 boys now and it is like Im a single parent as well my first I had I was 17 who is 5(not planned)and the last one was not planned either but i have 7month old as of tommorrow.I am only 23 I feel like that all the time it takes awhile to get used too Im still not used to it and it has been 5 years. I just got married on the 20th of May and our honeymoon was the first time we ever were alone it was so different not having to get two others eady along with myself when we were going somewhere but boy 2 days after being away it hit me hard I missed them so much I couldn`t wait to be back with them.It was really nice to get a break.It is really hard though now that Im back home and back to being by myself.I live in such a small town absolutely nothing to do unless u do drugs or u r an alcholic it is ridiculous here. The best things that keep me occupied is this Forum and taking the boys for walks. I think b4 I found this Forum I was so depressed for not being able to talk to someone over the age of 5.My phone bills are ridiculous but u gotta create your saviors I do alot of reading now and do at home universty courses it is not much but it helps and is certainly not a waste of money.I hope this helps that there is someone else out there that is feeling the way u do too.We just have to make the best of it.

 

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