What Is Wrong With My Son

14 Replies
dee23 - February 18

i dont expect anyone to empathis. it seems as though everyone on this forum and everywhere else i look, have perfect lives with perfect babies and never get stressed. i feel totally alone. ds is 7 months and teething. he is happy at home, but as soon as he gets out of the car at another destination, he starts screaming...virtually the whole time we are out he screams. everyone stares, i get dirty looks...even if i have him in my arms...cry cry cry. if he wants me to be depressed then i think he is succeeding. we get home, and he is all happy again! i cant take this. i have so much to do. i am getting married in under 2 weeks and i cant go anywhere! he has playgroup tomorrow, and i have the most overwelming feeling of anxiety about it that i might have to cancel. i really want to go becase the ladies are lovely....and so are there babies...perfect like everyone elses. one lady came up to me while ds was crying and said ' oh i recognise that noise, hi william'. and thats suppose to make me feel better? it made me feel even more alone. i hate the stress it causes me while im out and the anxiety i get before. my stomach turns and feels rotten and i cant eat, i feel like throwing up because i am petrified that he will yet again scream. ds is so beautiful, and i cant even show off my beautiful baby. i dont get any comments that he is beautiful, all i get is, 'is he ok' 'does he need to go to the doctor'....well all the doc says, give him panadol, a teether....try to sooth it that way....well thats all fine and dandy for home..but what do i do when we are out? nothing will console him, NOTHING. today i went out for 1 hour to buy 3 shirts for my dh to be and his groomsmen, and before we left, i made sure he was fed, changed and he even slept for an hour before we went. well, ofcourse that didnt help. what do i do. he has everything he needs, he is spoilt to a tee....loads of expensive toys, all the variety of food he wants....i am always at his beck and call.....i cant do ANYTHING else to help him. even if i give him panadol before we leave (your equivelent to tylanol), it still does not stop him from crying. please help me before i go mad...i am starting to get frustrated and angry...if i stay house bound i will go mad and i cant because there is so much i need to do. i have had him babysat to give me a break...and the babysiter couldnt cope and she has had 4 kids. is he evil or something? i wasent prepared for this sort of thing when i planned him. i thought he would be normal atleast...i can even handle him being fussy all day, thats fine, but i cannot deal with him screaming only when we are out of the house....i guess none of you have heard of this, or have babies similar, but venting has really helped me to come back down to earth as i was about to leave him in the house and just go.

 

Kena - February 18

Do you think he could have that "stranger syndrome?" It's when they cry when the get in strange places or around strangers?

 

SuzieQ - February 18

Poor you! It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. The only thing I can think of is maybe your little guy is a sensitive baby. I read that some babies get really stressed easily and it sounds like he has many of the symptoms. He'll probably outgrow it, but in the meantime have you tried taking him outsied for a few minutes at a time, then bringing him in before he cries? I would keep doing that for longer stretches at a time. It sounds time consuming, but that's the only thing I can suggest. I'm sorry your stressing so much, but I don't blame you at all. Good luck and let us know how he does.

 

aurorabunny - February 18

Well I know this isn't the same situation as you, but I do empathize. Every time we take ds out whether it be to a playgroup or just to family's house, all I hear is "He's 7 months and he's not sitting alone yet??" "He's 7 months and he's not crawling yet??" Basically just insert ANYTHING into "He's 7 months and he's not _____ yet??" "He's so tiny for 7 months..." *sigh*. Questions that are usually followed by "Does he get any floor time?" "Do you work with him on sitting up?" "Is he eating enough??" Babies are freakin' different, and people will never get that picture. They develop differently and they react differently to different situations. I have read in some of my books that some babies are just VERY VERY sensitive to changes in their environment, like SuzieQ said. That sounds as if it might be the case. Either way, no one has a perfect life or perfect child, even if they try to act like they do. Sorry you're feeling this way, keep your head up. You can always talk to us! =)

 

dee23 - February 18

thank you so much ladies, your replies almost made me cry, i wasent expecting any. i am taking him back to the doctors today and demanding an answer or referal to a ped. im taking him back also because ive just noticed, and videoed, him turning his head from side to side repeatedly. it seems like he isnt doing it purposefully. he has been changing so much this past few weeks doing really odd things. if they tell me that all of this is normal i might as well beat them with a stick. i hope my poor baby is ok. and i pray, oh how do i pray, that it can be fixed. thx again for your kind responses, i guess there are some nice ppl around....this is so hard, i need that now and again.

 

Kena - February 18

Well good luck and let us know! But don't worry your head off. I'm everything will be okay!

 

Kena - February 18

I meant I'm sure everything will be okay!

 

aurorabunny - February 18

Also I meant to add, you may have identified part of the problem when you said that he is spoiled to a tee and you are at his beck and call. He is 8 months, maybe he is getting a little TOO spoiled?? =) I know it's easy to do....maybe it's as simple as that when you guys are out of the house he is not getting ALL of mommy's attention?? Just a thought...def. worth getting checked out at the ped's though. Hope you get an answer to your problem. =)

 

AlissaF - February 18

My friend's baby is the exact same way. As soon as she leaves, her daughter starts crying. How long has he been doing this? The only thing I an think of is to continue bringing him out socializing him. It seems to me that he has a lot of anxiety in unfamiliar places. I think the play group sounds like a great idea. Don't be suprised though if he does continue to cry and scream for the first few sessions... I think he will eventually get used to it. Let us know what the dr says. and by the way, I have seen your pictures of him and I think he is absolutely adorable!! I've wanted to leave comments on your piczo, but i know that spot is reserved for family. He is a gorgeous little guy!

 

dee23 - February 19

thx again guys. the doc is a moron and wont help. he said the head swinging from side to side is normal. and he also said that him doing what ive explained is normal also. but he didnt give me any help as to what i can do about it all. i dont care for the 'its normal' speech if he cant help me with it all. im not sure if its the fact that he is anxious about the ppl, because he seems fine going up to them, climbing them, grabing there faces, hair ect.. he just makes this sooking noise the whole time and pregressivly gets to a scream. he has been going to playgroup for 2 weeks, and he went to mothers group for 8 weeks or so, every week. and every week he would be the noisiest baby there...crying wise. well now im stuck. how much money do i have to spend at different doctors til i get some advice on what i can do to stop him from crying? some good advice would be how to get him to sleep while we are out, because sometimes thats half the problem. he wont sleep then gets so grumpy......thank you alissa, thats very sweet. i remember once i was having a horrible day like today with him, and my mil came over and commented that he looks so cute when he crys....it made me feel closer to him instantly. only because it made me think about the good side of the bridge. i am so unbeleivably happy when he is happy...i cry when he laughs because he doesnt do it that often, i play with him more when he is happy. but like this, never smile, never laugh, always crying, its so hard to stay happy for him, ya know?

 

k.p.j.e. - February 19

Hi Dee23 please know that I am hoping for the best for you and I sincerely hope that you keep pursuing your instincts that what he is going through isn't "normal" like your dr apparently wants you to believe! I am sure this is the hardest struggle you could imagine going through w/ your son. You obviously love him to pieces and I believe that your unconditional love for him will see both of you through this time. You sound like a great mom and I'm sure your son is beautiful, but the other moms who (insensitively) say things like "Oh I recognize that sound" do NOT have perfect babies themselves. It seems like that to you now but none of us have perfect kids, nothing is ever what it seems on the outside. I feel a lot of sadness for you reading your story but I really really hope you get the answer you are looking for...sorry I couldn't give you any decent advice. I wish more than anything that I could!

 

apr - February 19

oh dee!! please dont think all babies are perfect and yours isnt... I myself have been going through a rough week with my 6 month old ds...he cries and cries and wont stop, and the only thing that has kept me going is my job...this may sound so mean, but those few hours out;ve the house helps me have the energy for him when I get home. I say definetely get another opinion from another doctor... something may be bothering him...but keep in mind, that it happens to all of us... to me at least it happens

 

Lindsey - February 19

Hi Dee, i am so sorry that you are going through this. I am having a terrible time at the moment with teething, I'm sorry that I'm not experiencing the screaming outside but I do empthise with you, I do not have a perfect baby with a perfect life, as I'm sure most people will admit, from 1-4 months I found it hard to even love my own son as he was screaming all day and night with colic, nothing in the world prepared me for motherhood. he has been teething since 5 months, but it is now hitting his peak, I have recently posted about this as I have been t my wits end with it. Also i know you may not listen to me but my son who is 8 months old by the way also shakes his head from side to side, i have also been told this is normal and I believe them. I agree with everyone else, maybe you should try taking him outside for short periods of time, start slowly. I truly hopes this gets better for you, and i want to wish you luck for your impending wedding.

 

Hana - February 19

Aw Dee i remember your post from a while back in regards to your son's crying, and i'm really sorry you're still going through this! (at least i think it was you, please correct me if im wrong).I get stressed out hearing ds cry for even a minute so i can confidently say you are truely supermummy for holding your head up high and dealing with the issue! Dee maybe I can go through somethings with you-just tell me to shut up when i bore you lol 1) Are there times when he doesn't cry? If yes then tell me what you're doing differently. 2) If you can can you describe in detail how you interact with him before you leave the house? Is he maybe picking up on your anxiety levels? 3) In detail, how do you manage his crying? 3) Do you feel he may have begun to a__sociate crying with going out and now just cries out of habit? I know that once or twice my ds cried when i begin to wash his hair and now everytime i wash his hair he cries- i really think its out of habit. Anyway im curious about question 1 and 2 and 3. Take care

 

Hana - February 19

ops i cant count-last question was number 4 lol

 

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