What Should I Do Daycare Issues VENT

9 Replies
Angiconda - February 7

Hi Ladies my ds has been in daycare for a week an a half now and he got sick his 4 days into daycare. My feeling is that my daycare had not really gotten a good feel for ds yet. SHe suggested that we should switch his to premixed formula and I was a little like ok what the point and then she said she thought he eats abnormally slow and now today when dh went to pick him up she was in the kitched and ds was downstair (she has a mulit level) sleeping on the floor with kids playing around him. I am a bit upset about it but not to sure hwo to go about it without p___sing her off. I know she fired he last baby becasue she felt like the parents didnt trust her. I trust her and all but some things are just starting to set to me. DH kind of feels like she is pick on ds. Any suggestions on what I should do?


sahmof3 - February 7

I'm sorry you are having this problem! From what you describe it sounds like you may need to find someone else (I know, what a pain in the hiney!!). That's just dangerous to leave a baby on the floor with older kids playing!! And I wouldn't discount your dh's gut feeling, either. I don't know if he's the perceptive-type... but most men are usually clueless about those little gut feelings or intuitions that women have, but if he's feeling them, it's definitely something to consider! If he thinks she's picking on your son... that's kind of scary. The drinking slow thing could just be that your LO is getting used to his surroundings. When I would get new kids in my clasroom in daycare they would often drink slower or barely at all for a few days. I mean even for grown-ups... sometimes we get b___terflies over a new job, a move, etc., and lose our appet_te... so I think babies do, too. I don't know why she thinks your LO would drink faster from pre-mixed lol. Does she have a playpen? If so, I would just flat out tell her that you would feel better about your LO sleeping in the playpen while other kids are playing or that you will bring one for him if she doesn't have one. If she gets defensive, that's a bad sign. She's working for you!! Not to say that there may be things that she needs to do differently than you in some cases since she has so many kids all day, but dangerous things like that are uncalled for. Good luck!!


Angiconda - February 7

Thanks I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting. I don't necessairly have a bad feeling from her as of yet. I guess I will just have to let her know where we are coming from and the issues we have and go from there. It is just so hard to find an infant opening, and on top of it she is on the more expensive end we are paying her $185 per week and she has the nerve to complain that ds was c___ppy yesterday morning I mean come on lady the poor kid has a cold.


apr - February 8

Angiconda-I had a similar problem about 3 weeks ago. I had a few posts on here about my whole story. The worst part of it was that she is my next door neighbour, but I decided that I had no choice, but to take him out and find someone else. I explained to her that I found someone cheaper and didnt go into any further explanataions. I paid her what I owed her on the spot, even though I was only supossed to pay her on the first of the month, but since I stopped with her I paid her everything... Your babys well being is far more important than anything else


KLC - February 8

I'm blessed that my good friend runs a daycare out of her home so she has had Aaron since he was 4 months old and he adores her. I have complete faith and trust in her and I know she looks after him as if he were her own. That being said, when my oldest son was 5 months I put him in daycare for the first time and it was not such a warm, fuzzy experience. He was always getting diaper rash and it seemed like his diapers were never used. I began marking the diaper I sent him in in the morning when I started getting suspicious. Low and behold when I went and picked him up 8 hours later he was still in the same diaper. No wonder the poor kid had a rash. I was livid and stopped taking him there immediately. Thankfully we had better luck with the next daycare. But how does you baby seem to you. My older son would begin fussing when we got to the daycare and he would be cranky when I picked him up all the way until we got home. That was a signal to me that he wasn't pleased or happy with his surrondings. I just missed it. I would reccomend following your gut instinct. Leaving a baby on the floor unsupervised is unacceptable - add kids running around him to the equation and its just plain dangerous. Better safe than sorry. Good luck


CaliTrish - February 8

My DS has been in daycare for six weeks now. He’s four months old today. My provider has been doing it for 30 years and has an a__sistant. They adore my son and are really good with children - patient and kind. I don't know how they do it. In the mornings, there are 6-8 children under 3. In the afternoon, there are several after school kids added to the mix. I haven’t seen them lose their cool yet. However, I have come upon a few situations that made me a little uneasy: 1) The a__sistant alone with the 6-8 under 3 kids while the main provider when to pick up some pre-schoolers. Nothing happened, but it just seem like too many little kids for one person. 2) The a__st was warming up food for a toddler in the microwave. The food spilled over, and she proceeded to just put the food back in the container. 3) Letting the other little kids touch and hug DS. He’s the youngest & very popular, and they seem to like to gather around him. 4) Leaving DS in the bouncer on the floor with all the other under 3 kids while she was in the kitchen. Albeit the kitchen is nearby in eyesight, but she wouldn’t be able to get there quick enough if one of the kids got too curious. 5) An older boy with fidgety feet lying on the floor next to DS’s bouncer. 6) Letting a ~7 year old feed DS his bottle. Course, she was right there next to them both. 7) Discovering that some of the equipment isn’t the cleanest – clean but not spotless. DS is at the stage were he sucks on his fist/fingers/thumb constantly. And 8) Leaving DS alone with two older kids (7-8 yrs) while she changed clothes for dance cla__s. Everything was fine. The older kids were coloring quietly, but she was out of the room for a good 5-10 minutes while I was there. Overall, I’m happy with my daycare. The providers are friendly and genuinely enjoy kids. All the children seem happy and well behaved if a little boisterous at times. DS seems to like it there. He’s always full of smiles and giggles for both providers. So, I haven’t mentioned any of the above concerns. I understand that they can’t be at his side every single minute. Kids will be kids. Even if they were there with him, accidents can happen. I know this, and I understand. I think I’m just feeling overprotective because I feel guilty for working. But I still feel good about my choice. I think it comes down to when you don’t feel comfortable, it’s time to find someone else. But back to your question, if you’re still upset, tell her you’re not comfortable with her leaving your son alone with the other kids. Could she take him with her upstairs or put him in a crib or something. As for the formula, does she not want to mix it for you or is she recommending you switch to ready-to-use formula? The former is pretty common. I was surprised when my provider was willing to mix the powdered formula for me. The latter could get pretty expensive. As for the “abnormally slow” comment, don’t take it personal. Some people don’t know how to pick their words. Plus, it might be time to switch to a faster flow nipple. The “firing” because of trust issues would concern me the most. I would want to hear their side of the story. Having said that, I didn’t ask my provider for references. She came highly recommend from my best friend’s mom whose known her for years. Sorry for the book, hope I could be of some help.


CaliTrish - February 8

apr - glad to hear you found someone else. Did you ever confront your neighbor about the diapers? How's the rash coming along? Does your DS like his new provider? Because of your post, I started having my providers track my DS's feedings, naps, and diaper changes. I know a lot of daycare do this. I created a simple form that they just have to fill-in the time & amounts and circle whether the diaper was wet, poopy, or both. They were very receptive to the idea and have be pretty good about. I figure it keeps them conscience about the tasks cuz I could easily see them getting distracted with all the other children around.


Angiconda - February 9

Thank you all for your advice. I am going to have to address the issue because when dh picked ds up yesterday he was downstairs with the other kids agan and she was up in the kitchen and I think dh kind of caught her off gaurd. After reading your post Calitrish I just remembered that she told me that one of her 7 year olds was feeding ds last week I guess it didn't even click with me. She actually apoligized to me yesterday for the slow eating comment because she said he ate 2 bottles pretty fast yesterday and I was just thinking well yea he was probably hungry and I think he is feeling a bit better. I am supposed to meet with another daycare lady on Monday but she is and older lady (late 60s) not that there is anything wrong with that but I am just concerned that she may not be able to keep up with ds. My mom swears by this woman as my younger brother went there when he was little (hes 13 now) What are your guys thought on an older daycare lady? I was thinking she would have more experience and ds would be one of her only kids as she said she doesn't really have any other kids other then a 3 year old whol is probably going to be leaving since he is starting pre school


Lisastar9 - February 9

If a 60 year old is alone with a baby I say fine. If she is with a older child who is hiper I maybe more hesitantto leave my child. SHe the 60 yold may be very young at heartand body full of life.


CaliTrish - February 9

Hmm . . . late 60’s . . . I’d say meet for her an decide for yourself. Some people in their 60’s are sickly and at death’s door, others are healthy and going to live well into their 90’s. It’s good to explore your options, but you might just try expressing your concerns. Maybe she’d be happy to take your son upstairs with her once she understands how worried you are. As for eating – I forgot, my son’s eating and sleeping habits were a little off the first couple weeks - he was eating less and sleeping more. He got back to “normal” soon afterwards.



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