Labor Amp Delivery Room Who Goes In

12 Replies
Kim - November 19

I am 6 months pregnant. My husband of course is going into the labor and delivery room with me, but my mom mentioned to me that if it didn't make me uncomfortable she would like to come in to comfort me. I am thrilled that my mom wants to share this expirence with us. But my husband want his mom in there if my mom comes in. I would not be comfortable with his mom in the room. He doesn't seem to understand and gets extremely defensive of his mom. I do like his mom, but it would make me extremely uncomfortable. We have been arguing about this for a week, and I think this is why I keep getting braxton-hicks. I don't know how to approach the situation, but I really want my husband and my mom in the room with me. Any suggestions???

 

Lynn - November 19

Tell you husband that if he's willing to get naked on a bed and get pelvic exams and have everything hanging out in front of your mom then his mom can be there... just kidding, men think of it as "my mom should get equal treatment" like having your mom in the delivery room would favor her or something. I opted to not have anyone in the delivery room except for hubby (my mom & I don't have that kind of relationship) and actually decided it would be better if we just called everyone after the baby was born. My MIL said that it was good she wouldn't be in town because that would drive her crazy and my husband said - Oh well, you coul dbe there, we just don't want anyone else. I had to put the old foot down and let him know that NOONE was getting called until AFTER the baby came.

 

Sheesh! Men!! - November 19

My suggestion: tell him if she wasn't there for conception, she needn't be there for the d__n birth! And for that matter, he may feel better if both moms are present... in the hall way during the labor and delivery.

 

Beth - November 19

Please do not give in on this! Lynn may have been joking, but I think you really should tell him that! This is a very vulnerable time for you! You do not need any more stress during labor. So I agree - only people who have seen you naked are allowed in!

 

mama-beans - November 19

may be a little sneaky but.... talk to your L&D nurse, and tell her you ONLY want those 2 people... and ask her to make up some excuse as to why you can only have 2 in attendance. Worked for me.. I only wanted my husband and sister. Mom and grandma both wanted to come in too, so I told the L&D nurse my problem, and she took care of the rest. Say OK to your husband about his request, then leave it up to the L&D nurse to kick out all but 2 people.. and just make sure that your mom is one of the 2! Sneaky, but you don't hurt anyones feelings... plus, you MIGHT not care when the time comes, so you can always ask for them back in!

 

Angela - November 19

Hi Kim, my husband is the same way if it was up yo him his whole family would be in there. If you really are not comftorable with his mom being in there tell him that there is no effense to his mom but you would feel more comftorable with the people closest to you there. Good luck

 

Jen - November 19

I am having the same problem- but with my own mom. We have a very close relationship, but I just think that this is an intimate time for only my hubby and I. I plan on having the L&D nurse tell my mother that when the time comes to push and actually deliver that only 1 support person will be allowed to stay- that way I don't hurt her feelings or look like the bad guy.

 

Hi Kim - November 20

I completely think it should be your choice, but keep in mind the baby is both of yours and it's a special time for all. Is there a way to compromise?

 

Kim - November 20

Thanks to everyone that has given an answer. I really do wish there was a way to compromise, but unfortunetly I can't think of one. I am just going to have to put my foot down and tell him that he is just going to have to accept it. I think I have come to the conclusion there is not a nice way to approach this. Honestly his mom should understand, consdering she is just the in-law. She may be family now and I know he loves her very much. She just going to have to accept the fact that I don't have that bond with her like I do with my mom.

 

denise - November 22

The easiest way to solve your problem is to not have either mothers in the room with you. I know if i said I wanted my mom there, he'd want his mom there too and I'm just not having that!!! We talked about it the other day and it will be just him and I in the delivery room. You have to remember that it's both mother's grandchild and you can't show favoritism over which parent you like better.

 

amy - November 22

i dont know what to really say about the moms, but take it easy :S.. at 6 months i dont think braxton hicks contractions should be strong enough to be felt, i mean we have them from 9 weeks and everything, but ive read that in like 7 and a half months you should start feeling REALLY light ones if your still or something.. im 33 weeks and i think ive had them twice.. im no doctor and this is my first pregnancy, so i could be wrong, but im just saying dont get stressed over this, or anything. i wouldnt want you to have the baby early, and im sure you dont either.

 

to kim - November 23

denise said the same thing as I thought.I can understand your husband wanting his mother there if yours is.I think it is unfair,and would suggest that both mothers could wait outside,that way neither is excluded,and the birth is better for both of you,a time for you to share.He may feel uncomfortable at your mother being there.You both created a baby without your mother in the room...I hope!so why can you not let them wait outside?

 

jj - November 23

Does hubby have a sister? Let mom-in-law go in with her. I had my mom in the room when my son was born, and she'll be there when this one arrives

 

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