Social Isolation Unsupportive Husband

9 Replies
Sheila - September 1

I am expecting my fourth child this summer. We moved a couple of years ago, while I was pregnant with our third child. A few days after moving, I was injured in a car accident and haven't had the energy to meet many new people in our neighborhood. I spent most of my last delivery alone because my husband didn't feel that we needed to hire a babysitter for our other children. This time I thought it would be wise to hire a doula or pregnancy support person. I just learned that my doctor feels that a professional support person would impinge upon his ability to do his job. I feel stuck. I have family in the area but they will not be able to take time away from their jobs to be with me in the labor room. I've tried hiring babysitters but they want me to be able to define the actual day that I will deliver. This is impossible. Worse, my husband doesn't seem to feel it is important for him to plan to be with me. Do you have any advice?

 

danni - May 25

divorce your husband

 

Kim - May 30

I can't believe your doc. would say that! This is YOUR labour & birth, not his. I totally recommend a doula, especially in your situation. Try putting up a posting for a babysitter in drugstores and senior drop-in centers with a quick blurb about what their needed for..ie when you go into labour. Good luck

 

Me-shell - July 8

Maybe you need to communicate to your husband that even if he does not feel it's important for him to be there, it is to you, and if he loves you he will be there for you. Your the one having this baby not him. He was there to make the baby, he can be there for the delivery too. Having & raising children is team work. A baby is only born once into the world and is a very special time that especially that father should not miss. If he is considerate enough of your feelings to be there, I hope he will be very postive during that time and continue. Having a baby is a wonderful time, but is a hard adjustment too, which you know since it's your 4th, so your husband needs to remember this is a time when you need him most. Wedding vows- better/worst,sickness/health ect...Good luck. Having a baby is also an emotional time, men need to be sensitive!

 

ashley - July 28

honey i don't even know you but if you called me i would come to the hospital and be there with you during the birth of your baby your husband and family is making a huge mistake .......After this baby please don't give into this man for a 5th one that he won't be there for either i would also consider a new doc that would allow you to have a dula or professional in there

 

brucen - July 31

definitely consider a new doc

 

SCOTT - September 1

YOUR HUBBY NEEDS TO BE WITH YOU. END OF STORY!!!!

 

Shannon - September 19

Honey...this is YOUR pregnancy...you hire anyone you want to...do whatever will make you feel better!

 

E - October 8

Tell your doctor that this pregnancy is about you and your baby, not his ego. Please consider hiring someone for support. I would love to help you through this if I could. Live in Boston by any chance? Please let us know how you are doing. It is so sad when a pregnant woman feels alone.

 

pbj - April 22

Ummm...Angie....this thread is from 2004

 

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