Child Abuse-pg117159181056

6 Replies
NuMama - February 15

I was abused (physically,s_xually,and mentally) from as long as i can remember until age 13 (i am now 18) and i dont want to hit or spank my child. am i wrong for not wanting to use old fashioned dicipline? does anyone have any advice on diciplining my child (im 7mos preg) i want to be prepared.

 

jetzs - February 16

I am sorry I didn't mean to alarm you with my previous post--I am glad some others had better explainations for you. I have found that "time out" works well with my oldest babe. She also learned tquickly to mind when I said "no". I started "time out" at about two years with her and she has responded well to it. If she acts up while in "time out" I send her to her room and let her decide when she is ready to come out and behave (it usually only takes a couple of minutes). With my second babe--she is 18 months--and has not learned as quickly to mind. I have found that , as my sister puts it, a "diaper tap" works well. It is just a tap on the diaper and causes no pain but she gets the message that she is doing something wrong. It may really be helpful when babes do something that could cause them harm, like climbing and such. I am sorry I didn't mean to alarm you with my previous post--I am glad some others had better explainations for you. Best of luck and take care.

 

MsMonet - February 16

NuMama-Have you dealt with your past? Have you gotten some type of closure?

 

NuMama - February 16

MsMonet no i have not(had closure) i dont know how to deal with it i sometimes feel like im over it but sometimes i just feel...i dont know really hatefull...its hard to explain

 

NuMama - February 16

jetz everyone i tell about my dicipline decisions say that if i do that my kids will run all over me???

 

jen327 - February 16

Sorry for your history. I was never hit as a child and did not want to hit my child. I have never hit him and don't believe in it. I slapped his b___t once when he had a key that was cm from a plug, but that was more just to get him to stop what he was doing. We joke about it now. I use the naughty chair for 1min per age. Set the timer that we painted together. It works great, I do have to say I have a temper and yell sometimes, so I often find myself taking time outs myself. I will tell my DS mommy needs to breath and take a time out so I don't say things that I don't mean. Good luck.

 

wrightofway - February 17

Hi There, I'm going to recommend a few things you may find helpful (scary, but helpful). get some counseling. I dont' think you're crazy! It just helps to talk about our fears and our past, as they relate to parenting... it will ehlp you realize and learn new coping techniques, and better behavior management techniques so that abuse isn't an issue in YOUR home. Find a parenting group in your area.... connect to some support in an informal way. Playgroups, parenting... great way to meet others, and gain that important support especially as a new mom. Read a copy of 1-2-3 magic. It explains a non invasive, non abusive way to discipline a child, which I've seen a lot of success with. As a parent, remember to be consistent, and have clear boundaries and expectations, and over time... hopefully things will work out. Just remember that YOU have to change how things are done! It obviously wasn't right whatever happened to you. Great that you don't want it happening to YOUR child!

 

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