Miscarriage Need To Talk

29 Replies
Sandie - November 18

I lost my baby last Friday at 10 1/2 weeks along. It was my very first pregnancy. I came home Wednesday night from work and I had moderate bleeding when I went to the bathroom. I went to the doctor the next morning and he did a pelvic exam and said my celvix was closed but could see where I had been bleeding. He sent me to get an ultra sound and they told me that it looked like the baby didn't form correctly. I spoke to my doctor about it and he had me go get blood work done. He said I would either pass it or they would need to do the d&c. He never said how I would pass it so I never knew what to expect. Friday morning I woke up hemorraging all over. My husband had to call 911 b/c I was so out of it and so much blood. At the ER they did another ultra sound and more blood work and another pelvic. I did end up pass some of it in the ER. They then had to transfer me to another hospital for my doctor to do the d&c. I just went back to work on Wednesday and was so scared to b/c most people knew I was pregnant and now know I miscarried. I've been so upset and no one to talk to. We want to try again and people have told us that we will get pregnant again very easy. Is this true? I've also read about people having multiple miscarriages and can't help to worry about that again. My husband is very mad that the doctor never told me what to expect. We go on Wednesday for my checkup and I have a feeling he is going to say something about it. I mean it was my very first pregnancy and knew nothing about this kind of thing. It's so depressing to think that I'm no longer pregnant. Today I was supposed to have my first ultra sound. I guess I just need to talk and to know if anyone knows about trying to get pregnant again and if it is easy to get pregnant after a miscarriage and how long do we have to wait? Sorry to keep blabbing....

 

julie - November 19

babble away, please! It helps. I lost a total of 4 at various stages to include an ectopic. Doctors don't give you all the information because they don't want to worry you to death. There is a lot that can go wrong and the m/c rate before 12 weeks is pretty high. It is easier to get pregnant after m/c for some. It took me many years to get pregnant again. As cruddy as my history is, I am 21 weeks along with (knock on wood) a healthy boy. It's very likely you won't miscarry again and the next go around will give you perfect little bundle. But give yourself time to heal from this one. Time to grieve this one. And move on. Every pregnancy is different. (Lord knows this is #6 for me...) and they all will have different outcomes. Some great, some not so great. I understand your husbands frustration and don't blame him one bit... Let him vent - it will help him get through the loss as well. My dh would do (and has done) the same thing. Trust in yourself, your faith and eachother and you will get though anything - best of luck to you!!

 

Mal - November 19

I don't have any experience with this, but I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it is to go through something like that. I am 34 wks. and at 20 wks along I had some serious complications and thought I could lose the baby. I know how scary it can be! I wish you the best of luck with this and your future pregnancy.

 

Sandie - November 19

I really thank you for your words. I think it is getting easier every day. We just have to get past it. Do you know how long it's best to wait until we try again? I think someone in the ER said 3-5 months but when I looked on the internet it said you can try after your first cycle but best to try after your second cycle. How long does it take to have your period again? I just stopped bleeding yesterday so it has been a week of bleeding. I also have a friend that is 17 weeks along and she hasn't called me to see how I am doing. Do you think she is afraid to call me? I would like to call her but don't even know what to say. People have said she might be feeling guilty to call me. I do feel a little jealous but not to the point where I wouldn't want to be around her or talk to her. It's really a weird situation.

 

Saroyce - November 19

Hi Sandie, I had a miscarriage with my first baby at 6 weeks. I was at work and started bleeding. I went to the doctor and the er and they also said that my cervix was closed, but, they were able to see where I was bleeding from. For the next three days I bleed and pa__sed the baby. It was so devastating. I cried and felt guilty and I just didn't want to talk to anyone not even my husband. But, I always knew I wanted to try again. So, in September of 2001, We decided to try again. Sure enough, in October, I did not get my period. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I now have three beautiful children. All my pregnancies came with some sort of complications, but, all in all, they are beautiful, wonderful little children. I have two boys ages 3 and 1 and a little girl who is 2. So, don't be afraid. I say to you, try again when you and your husband are ready. Grieve for your baby, because that was your child, I still to this day know when my baby's birthday was suppose to be. So, that would never leave me. As for your friend, Pray about what to say to her. Then, don't be afraid to call her. When I had my miscarriage, there were people I knew that was pregnant, and I didn't want to approach them either, but, finally after staying in isolation for three weeks, I decided I need to talk to people. So, I did and it helped with my healing as well, because I found out that a lot of my friends that were pregnant or had been pregnant had miscarriages. I even found out that my mother had a miscarriage with her first baby. So, please don't hold back. But, take time for yourself, then reach out to her. Take care, keep the faith and I am sure you and your husband will be holding a lot of babies not to mention the loud screams, laughing and pitter patter of little feet!

 

Sandie - November 19

miscarriages are more common than people believe, and it should not affect your ability to have a baby in the future. I am so sorry for your loss, but you can try again. And yoou know that you are fertile, which is great!

 

Sandie - November 19

Thank you for your help...or encouragement. I'm glad I came on here to talk. It has made me feel better. My husband just doesn't really understand this stuff. He has been great and has been strong for me. He is usually the emotional once and now I have been. I actually asked him when he cried. Well I go on Wednesday for my checkup so I'm anixous to see what she says. I have my questions written down to ask. Thanks again!

 

[email protected] - December 17

ive been to hell and back lost my baby on tuesday night after an early morning scan at the hospital that day they could find no sign of pregnancy at all at basically told me i must have miscarried and never realized as it was probebly a very very early one basically go home come back in 48 hrs for more blood test.I was never told what to expect if i go home and stary to bleed badly what did indeed happen nothing to prepare me for loosing a child that was so so much wanted after 7 years of tryingthankfully i have a son age 8 have had a misscarage in 99 and an eptopic in 2002 so this has been so hard on me not only that after loosing my child on tuesday night the next day i was admitted to hospital feeling faint dizzy bleeding and realy feeling poorly realized after 6 hrs blood preasure low but have to attend my hospital again 48 hrs for bloods(hcg) on arrival on friday i was taken into a room with women whom were ready for delivery of babies i fely so so low when asked by the staff nurse what i was there for when explaining i think she saw the expession on my face and took me to a different room i realy feel that after a misscarage cant talk for other peoples hospitals but mine is so so bad i think they need to understand feelings more and not put ladies whom have misscarage withladies having healthy pregnancys it hurts so so bad as you feel so low down and depressed anything hurts especially seeing a lady having a sucessful pregnancy i felt like a failure still do cant put my feelings into words alot has happened hard to deal with god bless u all thats going through this

 

K - December 18

So sorry to hear! I had a m/c last year on New Years eve of all days. I got pregnant in June and I'm 28 weeks now. I'm still very paranoid that something can happen! Best of luck to you!!

 

Mirandai - December 19

I just had a miscarriage on Sept 7th 2005. It was our 1st pregnancy and also our 3rd wedding anniversary. I am now pregnant again and am 10 weeks along. Things seem to be going well. The doctor had told me to wait until I had 1 normal period and then we could try again and we got pregnant right away. I am currently doing progesterone suppositories 2x a day.

 

ckramp - December 19

I had a miscarriage last Friday, 12/16. It was my first pregnancy - I was almost 7 weeks. I keep blaming myself. Thinking that maybe if I would have quit smoking earlier or didn't have that gla__s of wine. I just talk to my doctor and she said I shouldn't try to have a baby until 3-4 cycles go by. But I have been reading that women get pregnant right away. I bleed a lot of Friday and Saturday but on Sunday and today it has almost tapered off to nothing. And i went into get blood work done on Sunday and my hormone level is significantly down - it is at 125 and on Friday it was at 493. So that is a good sign that it is flushing out of my system. So I am thinking that I will be OK to start trying as soon as possible?? WHat are everyone else's thoughts?

 

Sandie - December 19

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy on Nov 11th and my doctor told me to wait until after 3 cycles. I guess so the lining of your uterus has a chance to repair itself. I still haven't started my first period yet. Just waiting.... I've read on here that other women's doctors have said they can start trying after one or two cycles. Did you have a d&c?

 

sharmanrenee - January 20

Before my third daughter I had a miscarriage. About a month later i ended pregnant with my last daughter. i also know how it feels to have a miscarraige. with my first pregnancy I miscarried my oldest daughter's twin when I was about three months along. So the answer to your question is yes it us very easy to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage. Good luck and please keep me posted on how things are going and if u do end up pregnant again.

 

maria - February 1

I lost my baby tuesday I was not as far along as you were, but really upset as well. It was my first pregnancy too. The doctor said the sac was 7 weeks and it looks like my baby stopped at five. In the beginning when I had my first appointment I was sent to an ultra sound because I told the doctor that I was getting real bad cramps and all they would say was that it is sometimes normal. I felt that I could handle if something went wrong but after that ultra sound seeing something inside me made me feel real attached. The doctor then told me there may and may not be a problem. He said Maybe I ovulated later than expected so They are off in a week of calculations or I had a miscarriage because under their calculations at six weeks I should have a heartbeat going on the little one inside of me. They told me to come back for a second ultra sound to listen for the heartbeat. I cryed alot for that first ultra sound, my baby was the size of a peanut something was in me and I thought it was so beautiful but I had it in the back of my mind the tone of voice that the doctor spoke to me in wasn't very convincing that things would be okay. My cramping got worse and I had no morning sickness still. My cousin too found out see was 4 weeks and was telling me about her morning sickness and telling me we should go shopping. My mom bought me "mommy and daddy love me bibs", I stared to feel hopeful and tell myself 'maybe I was weeks off'. So when my appointment came up I was excited I expected thing to go good. I knew though, seeing the 2nd ultra sound something wasn't right nothing look like it did last, were was my little peanut guy? The doctor showed me there was no blood flowing were there should be and told me to rescheldule for a d and c. I was so upset. To be at the peak of happiness and slip off all the way down makes you sick all over. I don't know how I would have gotten out of this depression if my husband hadn't taked to me about it. It was more meaningful from him (he repeated what the doctor said pretty much) but it meant more because it was his first too. I am scared about getting pregnant again but I want a baby and I want to climb that peak to the top again. Good luck Sandie and every other mom out there, I hope everything goes well for you and your husband. And I am with you, I hate this waiting game.

 

Suebee - February 1

I'm really sorry for you girls. I know exactly how you feel. My story is quite similar to yours Sandie. My husband was also very angry at the way we were treated at the hospital. All I can say is that time helps to heal. It's been about a month and a half and I'm happy to say that DH and have tried again and I'm hoping that AF won't show this weekend. I know it's really sad and frustrating for you but don't give up hope. You will have your successful pregnancy soon. Take care of yourselves and good luck to all! I hope you feel better soon.

 

Jennifer - February 1

Oh my gosh girl!! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! I never had to go to the ER b/c we just scheduled a D&C. My body wasn't excepting the fact that I m/c so there was no bleeding. The doc said we could wait it out to see if I pa__sed it but there was a risk of YOUR situation happening. And to be honest, doc's won't tell you those things when you're pg b/c it's negative and they expect the best for you. I had 2 m/c's so I hope the same thing doesn't happen to you. So here's MY suggestion: After my 2nd m/c the doc decided to order blood work to check my progesterone levels, and they found their problem. I had a VERY low level, so they put me on a Rx to help. I wouldn't wait till it happens again, I would MAKE them do it now. Also, DO NOT START TRYING AGAIN UNTIL YOU'VE RECOVERED. It is SO true what people say, you can have another m/c if you try too early from a D&C. What they do is shave the lining of your uterus till it's VERY thin. And if you get pg too soon your uterus is not strong. Also, having a low progesterone level will cause a thin lining of the uterus, so if that's your case, you DON'T want to mix those 2 together. I am here for you and I wish you the best! You don't have to take my advice, but trust me, you're better safe than sorry. The good thing is, after I waited my 2 months I got pg RIGHT AWAY!!! So good luck to you!

 

Sandie - February 1

sorry to hear about your loss. it's tough to go through. you don't except what they are going to tell you. i'm doing much better now. i know it was for the best. i'd rather that had happened then to have an unhealthy baby. just wish it didn't happen the way it did. my husband thought he was going to lose me. we are actually going to try again soon and hopefully it will be positive! good luck to you and your husband. If you need to talk more go for it! we are all here.

 

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