Natural Miscarriage

7 Replies
Emmie - August 25

I found out today that I had a 'missed' miscarriage. I went for an ultra sound after some bleeding the other day. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but the baby was only 8 weeks and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I'm distraught. I really need to talk to something. The midwife said, "It was for the best," and that made me so angry! I really need to speak to someone that has gone through the same thing. They explained my options and I have decided to opt for a 'natural' miscarriage. I hate hospitals and do not want to spend any more time there. I'm not really sure what to expect and when to expect it. Any help and advice would be useful...

 

Confused - August 25

Emmie, I'm very sorry for your loss. Please try not to take what the midwife said the wrong way, though. What she most likely meant was that nature sometimes takes care of the unborn because they wouldn't have survived any longer in the womb, and definitely not out of it. I know it doesn't seem like she meant anything kind, but she's probably so used to dealing with this type of thing that she didn't use a more sensitive bedside manner. Anyway, many years ago, with my second pregnancy, I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and had a D&C. I don't recall having the option of miscarrying naturally. I don't like hospitals, either, but the staff was kind and did what they had to do. They were empathetic, but since grieving is far more personal, they couldn't really get terribly involved. Anyway, insofar as what to expect now, there have been other postings from people who have let nature take it's course. Most of those postings (feel free to check out the board) have said that bleeding (with clotting) will increase, and most have described an increase in pain. It seems the pain starts to subside once the sac has pa__sed. It also seems bleeding can continue afterwards for a few weeks. That's probably why some women choose to get a D&C, as it will hasten the removal of all tissue. Now, too, unlike when I had my D&C (for which I was only administered a paracervical block), they offer more meds. Best of luck to you and God's blessings as you go through this difficult time.

 

KK - September 15

Dear Emmie: How are you doing? I had a natural miscariage. At 12 weeks, 4 days, I went into the dr. because I had started spotted, which then turned into full blood and tissue gushing. I was so shocked. He didn't schedule me for a D &C because my body was naturally doing it's thing. This was ok for me - even though you bleed for a couple of weeks off and on. The only hard part was realizing every time I changed a pad that the reason for the blood was because I had lost the baby. Bascially - I bled off and on, but the heavy bleeding part had stopped after about a day. Then it was just like a period. I had a period exactly 1 month from the date of my miscarriage. I sure hope you're ok. I'm sorry about the miscarriage - and I certainly know first hand how you feel. It was actually my husband who said what the midwife said to you. I felt like slapping him (but didn't). Having a miscarriage is definitely no fun - I wouldn't say it's for the "best" - but I would say that nature does have her way (By God's design) of taking care of tiny babies that aren't forming the way they are supposed to. Even though it's hard....just make sure you allow yourself the opportunity to grieve your loss. I would like to know how you are doing, too.

 

cat - September 23

Emmie, First let me say how sorry i am for your loss. I too, have had a missed miscarriage. I was 15 weeks with identical twins when I went in for a routine appt, and no hb was detected on either twin. I went to the hospital for a second opinion and they confirmed. I was shocked because I had not had a single symptom that my babies had died. No bleeding, cramping, nothing. They measured around 13 1/2 weeks, so I carried them 1 1/2 weeks not knowing. I did not have the option of a natural miscarriage because of the size of my uterus carring twins, but I wish I could have. At least then I would have been able to say goodbye or something. I know that sounds weird, but maybe you understand what I'm saying. Hang in there. And don't mind those people that say stupid things, like "it was for the best" or "your still young, you'll have another". Some people are just ignorant and don't realize what they are saying wont replace the baby you lost.

 

Emily - September 23

Emmie, I had a miscarraige in Aug. I was 9 1/2 weeks when I started spotting. It was very light but I was worried so my doctor did an ultra sound. He said that the heart stopped beating. He told me I had two options. A D&C or I could let nature take its course. HE suggested a D&C becsause I wasn't having anythign but hte very light only when I wiped very pink (not red) bleeding. He tested my hCG levels and they were off the charts so he said he wanted to schedule the D&C. He said that I was probably farther along than I we thought and there would be more tissue. He also said that it was hard telling how long it would take if I went naturally. I didn't want to do it because it was my baby, but after it was said and done I felt better. I spent a total od f two hours in the surgery center at my doctors office (no hospital) I am not trying to tell you what to do, jsut sharing my expreince. I am just finishing my first period since my m/c and hoe to be pregnant again before my next cycle. The dr gave us the oklay to start trying right away since everything went ok witht eh D&C and it was my first m/c and he saw no reason why it should happen again. I already have a 14 month old. She has been wonderful for my emotional recovery. We plan to try agian even though we wren't trying when we got preg. I hope everythign goes well for you and I hope you get preg again soon if that is what you so wish. God bless you all.

 

ashleyyurick - October 21

Hi Emmie, Iam Ashey I have been through what you are going through actually today.... this is my second miscarriage the first one was about 4 months ago, i was 10 weeks but the baby was only 7 weeks at the first ultra sound there was a heart beat and at the second one there was not. People kept telling me everything happenes for a reason, which didnt make me feel any better, nothing does, except for time. I just found out 5 days ago that I was pregnant again, and again iam having another misscarage, the first time I had a D&C iam glad I did, i didnt think that i could have done it naturally,although iam going to try it this time, i have to say its hard to handle, I honestly dont know which i perfer, i feel with a D&C i had no time to say goodbye, so maybe doing it naturally is best....but keep your head held high i got pregnant 4 months after and i hope i will again soon

 

Tory1980 - October 21

I had a 'missed' or 'silent' miscarriage in January at 14w4d. Baby measured 11w3d and I didn't have a clue. I was given the option of a D&C or natural and opted for the D&C but miscarried on the ward waiting for theatre. Usually the body will miscarry the baby no later than 4 weeks after it has pa__sed. If it doesn't recognise that the baby has died then it may not do so and can cause infection and future problems in conceiving. I hated the idea of the surgery but I also couldn't stand the thought of knowing my baby had died and waiting for a sign things would start on their own. I hope it all goes naturally for you but if not be prepared to have to undergo a D&C anyway. I came home after the miscarriage but had to be rushed in the following mrning due to heavy bleeding and a scan showing retained tissue. Although your little one died at 8 weeks your womb will be the size of a 12week pregnancy. I lost a lot of blood during the actual miscarriage which scared me so be prepared for that as it was quite a shock. If you go through a pad an hour though you will need to go to the hosptial as it isn't normal. When I asked for answers as to why this happened (had three live births and 1 previous m/c at 6weeks) my Doctor explained it like this - when baby is conceived all the information required for it to grow and develop is pa__sed on. At different points during pregnancy these pieces of information are called on, ie for ears to grow, fingernails etc. If the piece of information called for isn't there or is incomplete then the baby simply stops growing at that point and dies. It wasn't the best answer in the world but it made sense to me. I am sorry you are going through this. Take care.

 

Daamaris - October 21

Emmie im so sorry to hear of your loss, my very first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I was only 18, and had just moved to the city, and only knew of one hospital, so when i started bleeding, my husband and i went there. the did 2 ultrasounds, then the doctor came in and told me that i indeed had a 10w old fetus in there, but that there was no heartbeat, yet...he said that it didnt mean that it was dead! He didnt offer a d & c, or anything, he just told me to call an ob/gyn and set up an appointment (i didnt have insurance) a week later to see if there was a heartbeat then. There was no way i could get insurance in one week, my job didnt offer it for another 2 months, and when i called to see how much it would cost to go in, they said it would be 200 dollars for the first visit, then more or less depending on what they would do. So i didnt go. I thought it would just come out during my period, that i wouldnt even feel it, or notice it when it came out. unfortunately, about 2 to 3 weeks later, i woke up with what felt like menstrual cramps, and i told my husband about it, but i thought i was just going to start my period, so i got dressed and we went to the store. while at the store, the pains got worse, and then all of a sudden i felt a big gush of fluid come out. Luckily i was wearing a long black skirt, and a pad, so no one noticed, then another gush, so i told my husband to take me straight home. i sat on the toilet, and then had the miscarriage. it was horrible, it was painful, i honestly thought i was going to die there, so i stopped bleeding, and i cleaned myself, and there was the fetus, lifeless, but distinguishable. then the placenta came afterwards, and i felt worse than ever. i wish i didnt have to go through that, without knowing what to expect. it came so suddenly, that i was in shock. Then the hospital had the nerve to send me a bill for the ultrasound and the doctor himself charged me 450 dollars for telling me "oh, it doesnt mean that the baby is dead, it could be dead, or it could be alive". I hope you have a good experience with it, better than mine at least.

 

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