Im So Low After My Brake Up

14 Replies
unknown - August 22

I broke up with my unborn babys father in Jan this year but found someone who loved me for who i was and what i was doing (having a baby). He has been with me throughout the pregnancy and has been very supportive along the way. I grew to love him so much. We had been together for 6 months until Wednesday last week when he decided to brake the whole thing off as he couldnt cope with the fact that the baby wasnt his and it was alot of responsibilty for him at the age of 24yrs. Iam only 21 myself and this is my first baby..Iam due to have my baby any day now but iam constantly thinking about him and iam so low and upset about the brake up that i really dont know if i will have the enthusiasm and energy when i go into labour. He has said he would still like to be at the labour as i asked him but im so scared he may not be there as hes away at the moment. Someone help me...i dont now what to do!

 

hope - November 12

i am not goin excatly what you are goin threw but i am 20 and me and my boyfriend are tryin to have a baby and i dont know if am pregnant or not yet but he broke up with me and said he hopes the baby dies if i am pregnant and i just dont know what to do either :-/

 

christina - November 19

You know I totally understand what you're going through. I'm going through the same thing. What it comes down to is there is nothing you can do but be strong and fight the depression for that beutiful child you're going to have, because you are all that little baby can depend on. Remember this child did'nt ask for this either, but you are having this child for a reason. After every storm comes a rainbow. If he can't love you for who you are and what you're doing he should of told you in the beginning, it's just awfully selfish, that's all. Stay strong for your beautiful child. And congratulations!

 

ab - November 19

Let me tell you my philosophy on peoploe in general...if they can not accept me for who i am and my beliefs, then they are not worth it...you are about to experience the miracle of giving birth, try not to focus on him, and if he thinks he is not ready for a big thing like this, then do not let him at the birth. you may have to face the fact that you will be in it for the long haul on your own.

 

Katherine - November 30

Don' spend time stressing over a man. You have a precious baby that needs all your attention. Focus on being a mother. Ask yourself if you long for love from others, due to lack of love for self. Love you and take care of you so you can love and take care of your child.

 

Mellissa - December 1

A baby is never an obligation, even if you are the one pregnant with it and, it should never be made to be an obligation. You made a decision to have and keep this baby but the men in your life, the father and your boyfriend, both made the decision that they didn't want to be a part of it. They are permitted to do so because they have that option. I would never want to be your child and know that my father or father-figure (meaning your boyfriend) was only there for me because he felt he had to out of obligation. And as a pregnant women, I wouldn't want a man by my side that didn't want the baby or, didn't want to be a part of the baby's life. The only person obligated to anything is the birth father to pay financial support. You will have the motivation to labor and birth this baby because you really want it and when the time comes, all that will matter is bringing this little part of you into the world. To say that you won't be able to do it is to say that you were only having the baby because you had a man by your side and this is never a good att_tude when you're about to become a Mother. If this is the case, perhaps you should really think about whether or not you can provide for all of the emotional needs of this baby. Since I doubt that this is the case, I stand on the fact that you will have the strength when the time comes because giving birth is when a women is at her peak in strength and beauty. If women can give birth alone to babies that were the product of rape or abuse, you too can pull through this and be strong for your baby. A break-up that wasn't initiated by you would be emotional at anytime in your life, let alone at this time! No wonder you are miserable right now, there is nothing unusual about that. Keep friends, family or support by your side and seek help with support groups if neccessary. And please, think of your boyfriend's side of things. When he first told you that he could handle the fact that the baby wasn't his, the fact that the pregnancy was actually going to result in a baby probably wasn't real in his mind. As the weeks went by and the pregnancy became more real and more prominent, he probably started to feel less sure about his initial stance on things and got scared. To be honest, I'd rather a man that confessed he couldn't handle it and bowed out early than a man that lived in resentment and unhappiness for the first year of the baby's life before taking off and leaving us both. I hope things brighten for you.

 

single - December 1

I too am in the same situation you are finding yourself in. I am 27 and my boyfriend or 1.5 years broke up with me because I wouldn't have an abortion. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am bringing a beautiful, innocent life into this world. I know that upon having this child, the emptiness I am filling now, will be gone. Remember, there is no love like a mothers love, and you must be strong for your child and in return I believe he/she will be strong for you.

 

lisa - December 8

I am single and 38. I will have my first baby March 15, 2005, and for the most part, I too will have to handle the responsibility alone. I recently moved to another state to attend school and found out afterwards I was pregnant. I have never been able to concieve, so this was a shock to me. It will be hard for me because the father does not want to be a part of the childs life. I respect him for being honest, and we actually still get along because of the honesty we have between us. You have to set down and get your goals straight. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I will have a beautiful baby boy in the end who will need me no matter what! It is time for you to understand that no matter what you are going to be a mother - the baby needs you. If you have to raise the baby alone, then try to see it as I do, you get a chance to do something most women won't - a chance to be free to raise your child as you see fit without any problems from him. After being depressed about it myself for awhile, this is how I cope with things and I feel a lot better now. Trust me, the right man will come along when the time is right and love you and your child. Until then, enjoy the blessing you are about to recieve, and focus on being the best you can be for your childs sake. Try to find a good friend or a family member for support. Good luck.

 

sheila - December 29

i feel what u are going through i am going through the same thing..my boyfriend has not been with me through this pregnancy but wanted the baby hisself...we have had problems that was stressing me out so i called it off and we broke up which seems is what he wanted anyway.. i amhaving a hard time and i feel just as low as u do..but if u are pregnant like i am i suggest that you be strong for the baby you are about to have hard as it may seems...let him come back to you he will hurt more missing the oppurtunity of seeing that baby grow..but dont let him make you miss your oppurtunity to being a great mother without him as much as it hurts be strong for your little one..i feel u girl but love can be so blind

 

Erin - December 30

I know exactly how you feel, I'am 21 and my boyfriend left me when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter. I have since had my daughter and now I realize that you don't need a person who does not want to be in your life, especially if they have doubts about how they feel about your child, consider yourself lucky that it happend before you had your child, and you don't have to deal with that along with everything else.....

 

Julie - January 31

well... My boyfriend broke up with me because I had made a decision that I never want kids. And well because I believe that I have as much choice as those people who choose to have lots of kids. All I can tell you is stay strong. I can imagine how hard this is. Its even hard for me to imagine this happening to me. But as you go into labour just think you are not alone and think of the baby as your child more than any man's. Just think about how you can raise that child to be a feminist male or female ( sorry if you misunderstand the word feminism, to me it means basicly equality between genders). And you won't have to argue with your spouse on how to raise your child. Just look on all of those wonderful things

 

sally - May 1

i want a baby so so bad.

 

sarah - June 1

You know I totally don't blame you for the way you feel. You are pregnant, emotional and single none of which is easy. Give yourself credit for how strong you are. Your ent_tled to be upset at the loss of your reltionship, but you will make it through and come out stronger than you'd ever been before! Best of luck to you and your unborn baby. You have many happy times ahead of you!

 

liz - June 16

i got pregnant i just recently had my abortion i dont want to be with my boyfriend no more what do i do

 

guy - September 12

i have no answers for you but you have my htoughts and love

 

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