My Story Im In Tears Right Now

10 Replies
sad and confused - September 20

well let start off...okay i know this probably wouldnt be "postpartum depression" but i need advice!! well lets see im 17 and i have a son that is going to be 10 months soon...and my boyfriend who is also 17...is still there for us....now i dont want to see like a B^%$h or whatever...but recently i just have been having weird feeling about my boyfriend...and i just wanted to make sure he wasnt seeing anyone else or anything like that....so i checked his email....and i saw one he had sent someone....and it was a picture of him...nude...so ive been pretty upset...but the other weird thing to this story is that the person he sent it to...was his cousin...(he is adopted so its not blood cousin)....now im telling the 100% truth so please dont say im lying....but i really do love this boy...but im so confused i dont know what to do!! do i confront him?? but then he'll know i checked his email.....or do i just let it go until something serious happens...?? i really do love him and he means the world to me and his son....so breaking up with him right now is out of the question...but what am i to do?! i really really really need advice....i really have no one i can talk to about this because since im still in high school if i tell some of my "friends" they'll probably tell the whole world....and i dont really have any best friends that i can confide to....dont want to tell my mom because then she'll think he's weird or something....so i just really need good advice from someone on here....i really would appriciate it!!!! i mean right now im crying and it feels like my heart is breaking because ive loved this boy for over 2 years....i mean i cant say "dont you ever see or talk to her again!!!" because that is his cousin (which by the way i didnt like anyway from the start...and he so called didnt like her much either) but when i ask him if he cheats or anything on me...he says no and that he loves me....i mean i know he isnt lying to a certain extent....BUT PLEASE HELP ME!! im really sorry if this is too confusing...just thinking as i type!! please respond asap!! because im dying here!! i really need advice! thanks!! PLEASE PLEASE no rude comments

 

Michelle - September 20

It really is a double edged sword because you want to say something but once you do, you are also letting him know that you were sneaking around on his email but just as an outsider looking in, the way that you found the info is irrelavent, the fact remains that he is sending nude pics of himself and for that, you deserve an explanation. Now whats concerning too is that you say breaking it off with him is not an option, so if you confront him and he has been going around behind your back, by staying with him, you may be opening a door for him to continue to do so since you have made it obvious that you are not going anywhere. You say he does not cheat and I really do hope that is the case but I have tried to think of any OTHER reason aside from s_xual intentions that someone would send out a nude pic of themselves and unless his cousin is an MD and he has some medical concern on his body that he needs her to look into, I cant think of any other. You say you had weird feelings that caused you to check in the first place, so it seems like you already know that there is something going on to some extent or you never would have felt the need to check. Follow your intuition honey, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck... you know the rest. If it were me, I would confront him but I would also prepare myself that if there IS something funny going on, that I know where my suitcase and the door is. But that is just me, you have to go with what you feel is right in your heart.

 

sad and confused - September 20

thanks so much!! yeah i really dont know what to do...because i really do love him its not one of those puppy teenager love....i mean i really love him and we are in a very serious relationship....its really hard to decide what im going to do with all this...i mean if i find out he is doing more than what i know...then sh*t is gonna hit the fan.....because i sit here and take care of his son 24/7 (we dont live together)...and he wants to do this to me?!...i dont know im just really sad n hating life right now...the only thing keeping me up and going is my son....but thanks hun for replying!!

 

jimmy - September 21

Been a man I may advice you a bit. sending a naked pic to his cousine doesnt mean he is actually going out or cheating on you, maybe only doing echange of photos etc. At 17y a mans imagination is enormus. Best thing is to talk to him, ask him to have a serious conversation and tell him, you thing he is cheating without mentioning any emails. If after a serious talk he still deny this then you have to tell him you know he is echanging naked pics etc..still not mentioning about emails. An example, I also had send some naked pics of me to a friend and my wife found out about it. Well these pics where only for a joke my friend was preparing for his sister, so all was a misunderstanding! Dont panic and think of the worse and if you really love him then talk to him. of course if you understand he is cheating then either you forgive him, but knowing he will do it again, or find a better person!

 

sad and confused - September 24

thanks jimmy...its nice having a man's opinion...im always hinting to him or i guess putting him on the spot...i always ask..."do you LOVE ME?"..."are you sure you want to be with me and your son...?" and "you are not cheating...and im the only one right?!" he always says..."yes i love you with all my heart"..."yes im 100% positive that i want to be with you and our son"....and "i love you and only you..and no i could never do that!!" sooo....i dunno...but thanks!!

 

alix - October 3

you poor girl i know how it feels to a certain extent im pregnant at the moment and live with my boyfriend everything is fine during the week but when the weekend comes he goes out takes drugs and get so drunk and fights its unreal i dont know what to do i love him more than anything and carnt lose him. he doesnt even come home untill i phone him then when he does like at 4am i just sit and cry for hours. i know he isnt cheeting but its hard when i stay at home and dont drink im doing it for my unborn child and he just dosent seem to care. i dont know what to do but your not alone when it comes to trusting your partner. i even packed my bags this weekend and threatend to leave but it ended up in tears and were back to a loving coupple again for the week.we have got to do what we have got to do.Tell him your realy unhappy and make him try and see it from your point ov view. hope it works out for you im just wating for next weekend events.

 

T - October 3

Sad and confused: I'm sorry to hear your story. I'm glad that your boyfriend is taking care of you and your son.....I just don't want you to be in a relationship that could be dangerous to you or your son. I have NO idea why he is sending naked pictures, but that is NOT normal! I would really look at him closely and to tell you the truth, I would really start looking at all his stuff. If you are as close as you think then he shouldn't have anything to hide....I pray for you and your son's sake that this was just him being silly, but it is weird. Sorry. you sound like a very smart person, so please take into all consideration everything he does.

 

Charlie - October 31

Its kk dont worry send a email to his cusin on your boyfreinds account saying i want tobreak upif she says why then hes cheating but if she says wot are you on about hes not kk chill out babe tell me what his cusin says back email me at: [email protected] XxXcHaRliExXx

 

a - December 2

ds

 

D - January 18

Hard one. Best friend's hubby did the same thing *not to cousin thou, she confronted him, and she feels really betrayed. He committed to her and has not been keeping the intent of his promise. It has wrecked their marriage. On the other hand, I do the same sort of thing, with my hubby's complete knowledge and acceptance, and have several friends whose hubby's do too, with the wives knowledge. I have no intent of doing anything other than share the photo's and chat, and it's not a problem for us. But then I have always been upfront about it. Sooo...figure out what You feel...are you feeling betrayed OR worried he will leave you OR worried he's a pervert OR worried his saying I love you is a lie? Then confront him about it. Tell him you found it while poking your nose in his emails, because quite simply, no one should ever do or say something they are afraid of having found out, cos it always will be. You NEED, inside, to deal with the issue, cos you so don't need this stress while dealing with high school and your baby. Honesty is really hard in a relationship, but if the two of you can get past this (since it's not a physical thing yet, but a "flirtation") you may be able to get even closer together and more open with each other. Fingers crossed for you. And I hope your baby's hugs are joyful and soothing. :-)

 

VICKI - February 21

DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED THE ONLY ADVICE I CAN GIVE IS TO PRAY THEN CONFRUNT YOUR B-FRIEND AM 16 AND I HAVE A BABY TOO AND I RECENTLY BROKE UP WITH MY B-F SO GO FOR IT AND NO MATTER WHAT DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR KID

 

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