3 MCs In Past 9 Years

7 Replies
MilanaK - April 16

Hello everyone! I’m new to this forum. Usually I don’t discuss my problem, but now I feel like I really need this. I’m lost and I need some piece of advice. I have no one to talk to about my infertility struggle. My husband supports me, but it is so hard for me to share my feeling with him. We’ve gone through a lot and this hurt both of us. All of our friends have children. I’ve heard so many announcements during last 9 years I’ve lost count. People who don’t know our situation constantly asking what we are waiting for, it’s time to have kids. I’m so tired…

I had 3 MCs during past 9 years. The last one was 3 months ago. I’m broken and devastated. I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to torture myself and my dh again. I’m thinking about surrogacy. My husband is against this idea. First of all surrogacy is illegal here in Italy. I told him we could go abroad. But he said this is too expensive. We googled prices in the USA and they are really high… But we could take a loan or smth like that… He doesn’t want to listen. I’m almost 40. My chances to carry a healthy child won’t get better. I feel strongly about surrogacy. How to explain my husband that this option is the best for us?

Also I decided to start collecting information about surrogacy process. I will appreciate any information! Where will be better to go for surrogacy? What are prices? What is the process? How to find surrogate mother? So sorry for such a big post and so many questions! Thank you in advance!


Alanda01 - June 28

Hello Milana! I'm so sorry about your losses. I can't even imagine how this was hard for you. It's great you continue to look for options! Please be strong and don't give up. I know exactly how it feels when everyone around is getting pregnant. You want to be happy for them but at the same time you feel angry at the world. 
When my DH and I first started to look for surrogacy info we were shocked by prices. USA has huge costs! We don't have such money. Their costs varies from $100 000 to $150 000. It is prohibitive price for us. Speaking about Greece, their prices are lower. Their costs varies from $60 000 to $80 000. Also I had a fear of scammers. There are a lot of fake agencies, who have only one aim – to pull out all your money. Be very careful in your search! Speaking about India, it turned out, that they canceled surrogacy for foreigners. You should remember, then it may cost even more in the end. I know that in some clinics they may just give you list of services (which were not discussed previously) after delivery to pull more money.
As for me, I consider reviews both positive and negative. It means a lot to be aware of all sides and cases of clinic. Also it is better to contact clinics directly. They usually have websites, where you can find their phone number or email. Don’t forget to study thoroughly official sites of clinics! Conditions, prices, services, photos, videos. Some clinics have videos, where they tell some details about their treatments and approaches. Also pay attention, what documents you’ll need there and what services they provide. For example, if you are looking for clinic abroad, they may help you to comfort your residence in foreign country. 
We had our surrogacy in Europe. There are many clinics with reasonable price and great service. So I'd advise you to look more into European clinics. I think it will help to convince your husband! I wish you best of luck! If you need to talk I'm always here for you)


MilanaK - July 21

Thank you for support. This is so hard when no one understands... I'm not the one who talks about problems and feelings much, but sometimes there are so many things inside... It seems like I want to scream, want to talk everything out but there is no one to hear... All my friends have children and there is no chance for them to understand my feelings. 

Yeah, prices are crazy! I'm afraid surrogacy will take all our money and even more. But I'm ready for everything just to become a mother! Thanks for a warning. Now I'll pay even more attention to my search. The last thing I want is some fraudster to take our money!

I appreciate your help! I'm so grateful you gave me all this information. It will definitely make my search easier. I'll tell everything to my dh! I hope he will change his mind. May I ask you to tell more about your surrogacy procedure? Which clinic have you used? It would be really great to know more about your experience!


MilanaK - November 26

Hello everyone who's following my thread! I am so sorry I wasn't active for a while. It's been more than 3 months since I posted last time. The reason of it is that during this time 2 of my friends announced their pregnancies. They are pregnant with 2nd and 3rd child. To be honest that broke me down completely. I still didn't recover from my last miscarriage. All these announcements caused me to be depressed even more. Now I have completely isolated myself from friends and relatives. All they do is talk about children which make me feel so miserable. I don't understand what have I done to deserve this?? I'm constantly asking a question " why me?" Everyone around is so happy. They get pregnant, give birth, rise children. And I'm just losing and waiting for a miracle to come into my life. To be honest I have thoughts to give up. I'm so tired and exhausted. We've been trying to conceive for 9 years! That is crazy! Literally nothing worked for us. Even our intention to have surrogacy doesn't make the situation better. How do you cope with pregnancy announcements? How it can be possible not to be upset about each of them? I feel myself so bad that I can't be happy for my friends. It's unbearable to see other couples live happily, rising their kids. It feels like we are cursed. I just don't feel now that I can keep going. I hope to hear you girls. Maybe you can advise something which can give me strength to move forward. This is cry from my heart. I'm lost and very bad thoughts are on my mind.


Lilly09 - November 26

Hello OP! I have same concerns now. My dh and I have been ttc for 8 years already. I've got pregnant 2 years ago, but I've lost my baby on 7th month. I’ve lost my fertility and there no chance for us to conceive any more. Not only it's hard for me to even think about surrogacy, I'm still in pain after our loss, but also prices make it seem like there is no chance for us to have children. I've been thinking to ask my dh sister or my bff to carry a baby for us. I made some hints while talking to them. It was clear for me they don't want to do this. And I don't blame them! I understand that not everyone is ready to become a surrogate. So now I hope to find cheaper options... I know that there are not really expensive variants in Europe. My dh is completely for going there. He makes his own research. Maybe he'll find something... But I think it's better to go to US. High prices show that there is high guarantee of success. At the same time it's so upsetting that we will have to take a loan to have surrogacy there... To be honest, I'm lost. I feel bad all the time. This whole situation is so stressful...


cosmicgirl - December 19

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know how you feel. You're not alone with this! I don't have a uterus but I have a desire to become a mother. Well there are some options for me. I chose surrogacy. Now I'm looking for information and where it can be done. This process is not easy at all. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck and no one can help. I can't talk about it with friends or family. All people I know have children and don't have problems with fertility. They just don't get it. They will never understand how I feel. It feels like every month someone announces their pregnancy. Every month someone makes a baby shower. Not to mention all those photos of kids in social network. This is so hard and sometimes I feel like I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be rude but sometimes I have to skip baby showers or babies’ birthdays. I have to make up reasons not to go and it makes me feel a bad person. But what can I do? I'm sure when I will have my baby it will be easy for me. I will be able to divide happiness of parenthood with my friends. But now it makes me feel even more stressed than I am.


Dailala - March 1

How are you? How is your surrogacy going? I hope you're doing great. I'm so sorry you faced problems which made it impossible for you to give birth. I faced infertility after my first delivery. There was rapture of the uterus. So the uterus was removed. My husband and I want to have one more child. There is no chance for me to gp and give birth. We are thinking about surrogacy and adoption. My dh inclines to surrogacy more. We are from France and this procedure is illegal here. So we are also thinking to go abroad. There are so many agencies and clinics. But it's hard to find reliable one. Reviews differ which makes it difficult to concentrate on one place. I was hoping I could find some recommendations here. I’m almost 40 years and I don’t want to waste time. I’ll appreciate any information! I hope to see some news from you!


Progenesisivf - March 1

Sorry for what you have to go through. Infertility is a very unfortunate event. I think you should go to the fertility specialist and find out the cause. There are different fertility treatments are available such as IUI, IVF, surrogacy etc. The surrogacy is legal in many countries. You can go there and start the surrogacy procedure. 



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?