Missed Miscarriage My Story

27 Replies
Growing Strong - June 3

I remember I felt like dying along with my baby when I found out there was no heartbeat. I was supposed to be 18 weeks, but the u/s showed that the baby had stoped growing about the 13th week. I somewhat suspected. I was wondering why I wasnt getting any bigger (I was so looking forward to having a fat belly) I even had a dream where I couldn't find my baby's hearteat. Well I was in Oregon when I found out, and there procedure was to use the D&C, I didn't let them touch me until I came back to L.A (where I live) for a second opinion. Unfortunately they told me the same thing, I saw my baby in the ultrasound, liveless without a heartbeat. I waited about a week until I finally decided to go back to the hospital and face reality. (I wanted to die at first, but then realized it wasn't going to happen and feared damaging myself and affecting future pregnancy) I delivered naturally. I was given drugs to induce labor. My water broke...I had my baby. It was a boy, a lifeless boy, but my boy. (The doctors determined the s_x of my baby) He was only 4 1/2 inches long, I got to hold him, kiss him. He had to be atleast 5months in order for me to get a death certificate, but I still needed to buy a burial plot to have his body released. I had a funeral for him, and it was hard...very hard, I mean I had a funeral instead of a babyshower, but looking back, I'm glad I got to HOLD my baby I think I would have felt more empty if I would of had a regular D&C. No baby's at this time, but looking forward someday :)

 

crisy - June 3

Hi. I am so very sorry for what you had to go through. Reading your story made me cry. You are very brave and I admire you. What you did for your child was the most honorable and loving thing. I miscarried naturally at 7.5 weeks gestation. I knew in my heart that there was something wrong with the baby. I was always crying and people were telling me that I was overreacting that there was nothing wrong with the baby. I think that a mother knows if her child is not doing well. It's the connection and the bonding that we have as soon as we find out that we are pregnant. I don't have any children. It was my first pregnancy. I needed to do a burrial for my child too. I always thought that my baby was a girl. In my head I named her Rosa-Maria. I planted a rosebush in her memory. That was my way of releasing my baby's spirit. I always think that my baby is an angel looking over my husband and I and it helps me cope with my loss. I had my miscarriage on April 25th and the pain is still there. Some days it's better and some days it's worse. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray to God that you will get another child. I think that you will make a wonderful mother. God bless you honey.

 

Lily - June 3

Hi Crisy. This actually happened in 2001 :( It takes TIME to heal indeed. I would wake up each morning with a horrible empty feeling in my heart--the worst feeling ever! It just made me into a much stronger person. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts when I feel lonely, but Im truely OK now. If I would have miscarried naturally, instead of the hosptial drugs,(My doctor said I was too closed up, my baby would have just stayed there) I had the same plan to plant a small tree or rosebush in my sons memory...Unfortunately I went through this alone, not to discredit my family, Im greatful for all their support, but my boyfriend wasn't there--I needed him more than anyone. I'm glad to hear you have your Husband by your side. Like they say the best remedy is to try to conceive again, that also helps the pain ease up. Take good care of yourself, start taking prenatal vitamins already. Stay positive and stay strong. Truely I wish you and your Husband the best. God bless you too and have faith, Sunday is just around the corner.

 

crisy - June 5

Hi Lily. Thank you for your kind words. I think that you are a very strong person. I wish you all the best and someday we will both have a baby. I am so sorry to hear that you went through this horrible experience alone. Like I said before, I admire you for your courage. I am taking prenatal vitamins right now. I desperately want to get pregnant again. Take care.

 

Kara - June 7

I am so sorry to hear about your baby. I was 15 week when we lost our 1st baby's heartbeat. As long as I live I will never forget the crushing b__w of the still ultrasound screen and the silent doppler. My chest still gets heavy and the lump in my throat returns even now remembering it four months later. Giving birth in the hospital was not an option open to me at 15 weeks pregnant with a 13 week developed baby. My options were d/c or miscarriage at home or where ever I may be when it would have started. So I chose the d/c. I have often wondered how I would feel if I had been a little bit farther along and had able to give birth. I think it would have brought me some addtional closure, but I didn't feel any more empty afterwards than I did the moment I saw the ultrasound screen. And I wouldn't describe it so much as I feel of emptiness. It was more a feeling of being more alone than I have ever been in my entire life. From the moment we knew we were pregnant, I talked to my baby. It would be about anything - about what were were doing that day or how long until Dad would be home or what kitty would think of the baby. I really missed my conversation buddy even now.

 

... - August 31

bump

 

Kay - August 31

Why do some women chose d and c, and not natural birth....do doctors give an option??

 

Alison - September 1

I am so very sorry for all you have been through how awful. My thoughts are with you. I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage, but I feel to reach 18 weeks before finding out must just be so terrible and my heart goes out to you. I pray for continuing strength and healing for you-and that your next pregnancy will go full term and deliver a healthy baby into your arms. Did you name your baby boy? Again I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to him and lose him. Take care xxx

 

Growing Strong - September 1

Yes I did. This was back in 2001. I remember not being able to talk about it without tears, but honestly with time it gets a lot easier. Im sorry for your loss aswell, I did have another loss in 2003 about 8 weeks a long. I haven't tried yet, just trying to get myself together financially. I know God will bless me with a healthy baby in my arms, have you been blessed yet with a healthy baby?

 

.. - September 4

..

 

Justice - September 4

Whoa... this one was a hard story to read, it brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found comfort in seeing and holding your baby. Though it probably won't make up for the loss of your little boy, I hope you get a second chance at motherhood real soon.

 

lisa - September 5

To growing strong.. i too just lost my baby 2 days ago- I was 10 wks, and the u/s measurements said it stopped growing at 7wks. This is my 2nd m/c in 2yrs. I did have the D&C, but I don't know if I should start trying again unless both dh , and I get tested(Genetically Perhaps) .I pray for all of you.. It's such a tremendous loss....

 

Alison - September 5

Growing Strong-no not yet we just started TTC after tests at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. So hopefully soon we will conceive and this time we will have a healthy baby. Again I wish you every blessing-Take care xxx

 

Heather - September 5

I am so sorry for your loss. i went through the same thing on the 14 August 05, i was 17 weeks and there was no heart beat. I never seen my little girl as i thought it might be harder to move on and also she had a large cystic hygroma i did'nt want to remember her like that the hospital printed her foot prints for me which is lovely to have. This is my second lose i had a eptopic in Oct 04 but i'm trying to be hopefull for the future. i wish you all the best and everyone else going through this hard time.

 

Growing Strong (aka Lily) - September 5

Hi heather, her baby foot prints?? :) Oh God, I know I got those too! It has been so long since Ive seen them......and unfortunately I don't seem to find them in my "memory box" I kept all the ultrasound pictures, pregnancy test, and hospital pictures.-->you name it. I remember how tiny his little toes where! So cute :) Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, and I know that we will all have a successful pregnancy, just stay positive.

 

Tara - September 7

I need to ask you ladies a few questions. I have been on this site since I lost my baby at 12 weeks June 2005 and all you ladies have been so great. I have a good friend who called and said at her routine checkup today the doctor could not find the using a doppler not an ultrasound. She heard the heartbeat at 13 weeks, but today she is 17 weeks and the doctor looked for an half an hour and could not find anything , so he scheduled her for an emergency ultrasound tomorrow. She is scared because she lost a baby at 12 weeks 2 years ago, but she did get pregnant after and had a healthy son. I was wondering if any of you had cramping or bleeding or any signs . She has not had any cramping or bleeding.She was such a wonderful friend when I was going through my loss that I feel so bad she has to go through this. Please respond!

 

Growing Strong - September 7

Wow, I've been there. I hope everything turns out fine. I remember I heard my son's heart beat, and on my next appointment the doppler didn't pick it up. The nurse was straight forward with me and told me that she will schedule me for an E/ultrasound. She said that sometimes it is hard to hear because at that point in pregnancy all the amniotic fluid may be the cause, or that simply for one reason or another the fetus dies so there is no heart beat. Well I didn't have any signs. No cramping, nothing. I just realized that I didn't have as much morning sickness, and that I wasn't gaining much weight. I saw my baby on the ultrasound motionless that same day....the technician didn't have to say anything---I was already shedding tears in silent, all he said was "sorry". My doctor said that I was really closed up and my body was not about to reject the baby--that's why I didn't bleed. I got the option to chose a natural birth (by the way I got 2 doctors oppinion before doing the procedure) I hope that your friend doesn't go through this again, and I am glad to know she has you to comfort. Having friends around during this time is so IMPORTANT. :) PS: I am glad to hear she had a healthy baby after the first incident I too am waiting to be blessed.

 

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