Afraid To Grieve Because I Want Another Baby

7 Replies
poetic scribe - March 14

I just got married on feb 14th and 3 days later we found out that I was pregnant. We were so excited. On march 7 i had a sonogram done and we couldn't see the baby. I was angry and left went to another hospital for a second opinion and the first one was right. I got a third opinion and was scheduled to have a D and C.On march the 12th I had a D and C. My husband says that we could try again and somehow I feel that if we are successful it will fill the hole that I feel in my heart. i'm afraid to greive and even though I have spent time crying I went right back to work the next day. Some people think that I'm crazy... Some people think I'm strong... I just don't want to think. My doctor says to wait 4 to 5 months but I want a baby now. Am I wrong for feeling this way? What should I do?


wantanotheraftertr - March 15

I just lost my baby to a m/c I was only 5weeks so I can start trying right away. I am afraid it will happen again. I have been grieving ever since I found out I was going to lose it. I don't think its wrong for you to grive or not it is a matter of how you deal with things. I will be trying this month again but am afraid the - test result will deffinatly be easier the the m/c but I dont want either I just want a baby and for everything to be perfect. I know how you feel.(though I have been married 17years and want more)


Shiner081 - March 15

Hi ,with my first miscarriage in Oct/06 the doctor said to wait to ttc after I have one period(not my regular doc.)I got pregnant after my second period.Unfortunaltly I miscaried On Feb13/07.I saw my regular doc. this time and he said that we could try asp after bleeding stopped in which we did but I had discharge for 18 days after this D&C unlike my first I only bled for 8 days.So we were trying after day 18 and on day 28 after my D&C I got my period(March13/07)which is good I guess cause it gives you a better due date time that is if I become pregnant after this cycle.I am just happy that my docotr said go ahead right away.Hopefully by the middle of next month I will have a +preg.test. My first miscarriage I had an empty sack showed only 5 weeks(I was 9 weeks though)My second miscarriage I showed 7 weeks(I was 10 weeks though this time)I actually had an ultra sound this last time on Jan 23 and actually saw a heart beat but according to the ultrasound before my D&C ,it only lived for about a week after the JAn ultrsound.I have been told that I am strong and been dealing with both miscarriages really good. I do not know maybe I hide my emotions lots I guess.I look at this way though.It happened for a reason better sooner that later like 5-9 months down the road or evan at delivery,something was obviously wrong with it and it would be terrible to deliver and very unhealthy baby that may suffer.It still is a loss but I look positive that I will have a healthy baby and am not ready to quit trying.God knows what should be and what not.I pray when we get pregant again thta it will be to stick.I really do not know how many miscarriages a person can go through before they say they had enough but I know god will come through for us.So this last week of March we will be trying to conceive again and hope for the best outcome .Just got to be positive.If you feel you are ready to try go ahead and just remember be positive and god will do what is best for you if the time is right.Baby dust 2 u all!*~*~*~*~*~*~


Katie _P - March 19

Do Not be ashamed of the way u feel, its your body and your mind. Everyone copes differently. No one, including family should tell you whats right for you. I can relate cuz i think i would feel a lot liek you do. i am strong on the outside, and i would just want to start trying again , and kinda forget about the past and strive for the future. Good luck to you, you'll be FINE!


diem - March 19

I don't think you are wrong at all. It's ok to want to try again asap. I have lost 3 now. Each time I have tried right away. Now that I've lost three we will be doing testing for blood disorders. Of course I am grieving and will always love the ones I lost. I am not trying to replace them. I am trying to conceive a healthy baby. It's not crazy at all. Everyone needs different amounts of time. If you are ready right away I say go with it. For me, i don't want to waist any eggs because I'm already in my 30's. Do what you feel comfortable with.


macy - March 21

I understand how you feel, you need to cry at any time you want to, dont hold it in!I gave birth to a little boy at 22 weeks 8 years ago, went into hospital on Boxing Day to have him, then over the past 8 years have had 3 miscarriages - my last one being just 3 weeks ago. You should not be afraid to grieve, your emotions will be up & down for quite some time, these forums are great as you can feel very alone & also feel why me! I still light a candle for my first little boy every year, thats just my way of remembering him, but you do have to move on & try again. After experiencing that, miscarriages for me are slightly easier to cope with, nothing like the trauma of a giving birth & coming home with nothing. Although I am probably the most desparate person in the world just to have a child, miscarriages are natures way of rejecting something that's not right, you can have tests after having 3, but if you have just had one, then try again when you feel strong enough, it happens 1 in 4 so you are not alone, just cry when you want to & let out your emotion, also talk to your husband as it is not only us woman that are affected by miscarriage. It has made me a stronger person & a successful pregnancy will happen when the time is right - keep cheerful.


Rhiannon - March 21

First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. Secondly, Congratulations on your marriage!! Take joy in the little things life gives you to celebrate. You can start trying whenever you feel ready. My dr told me to try after one cycle and that is because they want to be able to date the pregnancy. One thing that let me know I was ready to try again was coming to the realization that another miscarriage was possible, and I would be ok if that happened too. For me that was neccessary. I knew when I was in the state of "I couldn't handle this again" I wasn't ready to try. Stay strong and grieve if you need to. I still cry for my lost one.


Sarah_doodlez - March 22

My husband and I lost our first child (stillbirth) over 5 months ago, and I want to get prego again so bad! But, grieveing over the lost of our stillborn has brought us both so much closer together. I am not afraid to get pregnant again because we had that time to grieve. I sometimes think that having another child will help fill that hole, but I always know that my next baby will always be my second, not my first. Grieve, it'll help. Baby dust to you all!



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