Built Up Frustration

4 Replies
Belief - February 28

Hey all...I'm so frustrated and angry but too much to cry. I want to cry but I can't cry. Does that sound weird? I'm such a horrible person for being so jealous of my friends who are expecting that I can't even be around them. Terrible right? I know...and I'm not that way. I swear. I want them all to have healthy pregnancies and not to go through what I've been though, but it seems like one of my friends is so smug about it. She knew how much I've wanted a baby and I'm 3 years older than her - which doesn't make any difference - but I feel like she is always flaunting it in my face. When I'm around her it's, "Oh I can't believe how healthy the doctor said I was" and blah blah blah. Let me remind you that she told me that my body wasn't ready to carry a baby. I got a clean bill of health last July from the doctor and again in October after I found out I was expecting with #1. I'm just so p___sed off. My husband got looked over for a promotion, my house is under construction, and I can't seem to get my eggs to implant. AHHHHHHHH!!!!! I thought this would be my year. Once again, I'm sorry to vent, but I'm so frustrated with life.


Rhiannon - February 28

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Your "friend" sounds like a real evil person. I remember the first time I got pregnant a friend who I told, told me that I shouldn't get too attached because I would probably lose it. Of course I did and she actually said "I told you so". I never told her when I got pregnant last year. In fact I haven't talked to her in a long time. You should cut her right out of your life if that is possible. I hope you feel better soon.


Jairia - February 28

Belief, Often times others don't truly understand what it's like to carry a baby (or in my case babies) that you've wanted so badly only to loose them. When I m/c, I was taking a graduate school evening course with another younger girl who was also pregnant. After my m/c, she continuously talked about her symptoms, how healthy the baby was, her plans for staying at home, and made a great deal of references to her pregnancy. All I could do was squirm in my seat to keep from running out the cla__sroom door. The m/c had been so fresh and recent, and everyone in cla__s knew about the whole ordeal. I don't think that people purposefully try to hurt us. I just think they don't truly understand. During that time, I found ways to distance myself which is what I suggest that you do. It doesn't mean that you're a bad friend especially while you're trying to heal. I still find myself pulling away from friends who are currently pregnant or have small babies in order to keep my sanity. I too agree with Rhiannon. I would never wish this on anyone. Keep praying. Perhaps God will give us healthy babies sooner than we think.


Belief - February 28

Thanks girls. It is good to hear. Unfortunately, she works with me and lives in same community. My husband grew up with her and so they are good friends. The thing that burns me up the most is that she is a counselor! Aren't they trained on dealing with issues like this. I've had 2 m/cs and just wish I could let things happen without over obsessing about it. It doesn't help that neighbors on either side of me just had babies too. I think I need to go to the gym and relieve some stress.


LanaK - February 28

I have my share of "friends" who secretly feel happy when things go bad for me. I try to maintain my distance with these people and just sort of keep in touch with them without opening up too much or delivering too much information. I've kept my pregnancy extremely private - only our parents knew and only one of my closest friends, nobody else. It still didn't help, and I had to have termination of pregnancy. I am also very angry; things have not been going right for me. I hope that we get a break soon - we all deserve it!



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