Can Someone Give Me A Little Pep Talk

12 Replies
Kim too~ aka ~Kim D - August 13

Hello again everyone. I found this site while I was having problems with my last pregnancy 6 months ago, and I love you all. I ended up losing my baby at two months (I would have been six months now). Well, I had the d/c done , waited like the dr. wanted me to, and last month started Clomind for the first time. Tonight about an hour ago...I took the test as I have been very tired (unlike me), and sick late at night. Well, the test was pale but it showed a plus sign. I will call on Monday for a blood test, but I am so full of so many emotions right now that I need you guys again. I am scared to death that we will lose this baby now too (and I don't think I can handle going through that ever again). I want to enjoy this pregancy like I did the first one, but don't think I will be able to until I hold the baby and bring him/her home knowing it is ok. I hate feeling this way! I have been lightly having cramps in my lower abdomen (which I know is normal with being pregnant), but since the cramping from the miscarriage, I am paranoid now that it's the start of the same nightmare six months ago. It's not a constant cramping, but like right now as I am typing...I am lightly cramping....and it's scaring the h__l out of me. Will I be like this if the pregnancy is viable the whole 9 months?? I don't think I can deal with myself for 9 months like this. Thanks in advance to everyone for your replies...best wishes to all of you. Kisses~

 

crisy - August 13

Hi Kim too. First of all CONGRATULATIONS honey. What you are feeling right now is normal. I think that having a miscarriage takes the magic away when you become pregnant again. I miscarried naturally at 7.5 weeks in April. I am ttc right now but I'm not pregnant yet. I also had ++++ cramps and spotting with my first pregnancy. I was paranoid then and I know for sure that if I get pregnant again I will be even more crazy than before. I can understand how you are feeling. The fear takes away from the joy. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant, I was on cloud 9. Now, just thinking about getting pregnant and I'm scared to death. My advice to you would be to stay off your feet and if you work get your doctor to put you on a medical leave. I think that this will help you to have a good pregnancy. Cramps are scary and after what you went through it's only normal that you feel terrified. When I'm scared I pray and it helps me cope with me fears. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope that your cramps will stop. Some cramping is normal d/t the stretching of the round ligaments and because the body is preparing for the pregnancy. The cramping can also be d/t the implantation process. The best thing to do is to stay with your feet up. Sending you lots of baby dust. Take care and God bless you.

 

Alison - August 13

Kim I totally sympathise it is so hard when you become pregnant after a miscarriage-you just wish sometimes you could switch your brain off so you won't think about everything so much! Every little cramp and twinge is frightening when for someone who has never had a loss they probably would barely even notice them. Hopefully the fear will subside as the weeks go by. The 12 week mark is a big milestone so I pray that comes quickly for you and the time goes fast as I know how long these early weeks can seem. Don't push yourself in these early weeks-I don't believe it will make any difference to the health of your pregnancy as miscarriages are caused by chromosonal errors or medical problems, but I do think it is important for helping you cope and feel strong and able. Get lots of rest and pamper yourself. Let BF/DH do the housework and things and just be kind to yourself. Cramps and sensations can come and go and it can just be all part of the pregnancy-I know it's so hard but please don't think the worst keep telling yourself it will be ok. Once you get a date for your first scan you can use it as a "goal" A focal point if that makes sense? Unfortunately some women (like myself) miscarry more than once, but from what I have read and been told by doctors most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time so the odds are good. I know it's hard and I do sympathise-but this is a wonderful thing! You have a little life forming inside you! A new baby and a new hope. They will never replace the baby you have lost of course, they will both be precious to you-but this is exciting stuff that you are pregnant again and I wish you lots of happiness for you and your baby! xxx

 

Q - August 13

Kim, Congratulations! I'm excited for you, and I don't even know you. I have gone through something similar to you, so I understand your fears and worries. I think any woman who has a preganancy after a m/c can sympathize with you. Like Alison was saying, don't push yourself in the early weeks and I, too, hope the first trimester goes quickly for you. It's not an easy thing to do, but please try to keep yourself occupied, and doing things you enjoy (gardening, drawing, calling friends, shopping!, whatever works) Keep us all posted as well, as we like to hear about happy ending! Take care!

 

Kara - August 14

Congrats! My advise it to let go of all the worry and fear. Worry is not going to change anything. Fear will not make you stay pregnant. Do your best to embrace every moment of being pregnant and enjoy it. Start a pregnacy journal. Every night right down what your experiencing and all of your fears. I have always found that journaling my worries keeps them from taking over my day. Plus it will help make sure that you remember the good things about being pregnant that all moms love to share with their little ones. Best wishes to you!

 

G - August 15

Good luck to you and best wishes.

 

AmyF - August 15

Congrats Kim too! I totally understand the worry and the fear, but although it sounds impossible to not worry- try to be happy for this new bundle of joy. I lost mine from an undo amount of stress, so try to take it easy. Maybe try and take small walks or something (if you exercise already) to help release the stress. Hugs and LOTS and LOTS of SUPER GLUE!!!! xxxxxx

 

Kim too~ - August 15

Hello all. Thanks for the wishes and help. I made my appointment for Wednesday for the bloodtest to verify the pregnancy. When I am there I am sure they will give me tons of scripts again for hcg level bloodwork. That is the scariest for me as mine weren't doubling ect from the start. Maybe once I get a few good hcg levels done...I will feel better. I'll let everyone know what is happening. Thanks again all. Kisses to you all~

 

crisy - August 16

Hi Kim too. Wishing you ++++ high levels of hCG. Good luck and take very good care of yourself. Sending you baby dust.

 

Alison - August 16

Kim too here is a huge (((HUG))) I am looking forward to hearing more good news from you of great HCG levels and postive doctor's appointments-Take care xxx

 

Kim too~ - August 17

Well...I have more bad news. I woke up this morning to blood. I called the doctor asap and she told me to keep my appointment. I went in, and they took blood. She called me back tonight and told me that either of two things happened. 1- I was pregnant at the time of the home pregnancy test but it wasn't a pregnancy that was viable and I may have had enough hormones to make the test show the light plus sign, or 2- the test was no good. So, I am not pregnant now. I am bleeding bad, and have pretty bad cramps (not like a usual period for me at all). I asked her about being sick everyday for the last two weeks, and why was I extremely tired, and my b___sts were even sore and the doctors nurse said that clomid can cause that too. Has anyone else had those symptoms from clomid? My own doctor told me that the main things that could happen was mood swings and that was it. I don't know what to believe now. They gave me more clomid tonight for next week today. I was balling my eyes out this morning (reliving losing the baby all over again), and I am so worried that maybe I won't be able to conceive again. She said that my levels on the clomid were great, and even on the high end. She told hubby and I to try on every other day...and we tried EVERYDAY, and I have heard that after a d/c that it ups your chances of becoming pregnant easier...but nothing..... I just don't understand this! I can't handle much more of this. On top of what we are going through, last night my mom and I had to bring my father to the hospital. We were there until 2am. He isn't doing well. He's been sick for a long time now...but I really don't need this on top of everything else right now. I was so happy and excited when I saw my home pregnancy test say plus for pregnant.....and again....I am not carring my little blessing.....what have we all done to deserve this? There are so many bad mothers in this world...and those of us who want children the most, get nothing but pain over and over again!! I am so hurt and angry again... Sorry that I am ranting and screaming and complaining, but I know that at least one of you feel the same way I do about things, and that is why I feel comfortable ranting here. I just wish I could help all of us get what we want without anymore pain and hurt....because if I could, I would girls....honestly. I'll be back around hopefully in the next few months, but I don't think that I will be able to stay possitive and hopeful about it anymore. Wishing you all the best. My prayers are with you all. Kisses~ and goodnight.....

 

Alison - August 18

Kim oh my goodness I am so very very sorry for what you are going through it is so awful. I would be crying and getting angry too it is totally understandable. I am so sorry for such a disappointment for you. The doctors say the clomid is showing good results though? Please don't give up-I know it's so hard but please don't give up.. I am so sorry too about your father. I pray the doctors will be able to help him just now. I know it hurts so much to think of all the women who get pregnant so easily and worse still when they get pregnant easily and then don't want the baby or abort or mistreat them-I have to not think about it as it upsets me so much! I loved and wanted each of our lost babies more than anything in the world. It does feel so unfair. But please don't give up-I'm here anytime you need someone to talk to. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I am sending you huge (((hugs))) Take care xxx

 

Q - August 18

Kim too, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Nothing we say will make it better, but please try to remember that we are all pretty much suffering right now, all going through hard times, and sometimes it helps to know that others can get through things. ((hugs))

 

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