Do I Tell Him I Don T Even Know For Sure

5 Replies
Nicole - August 24

I am pretty sure I had a miscarriage on the 11th of August. I woke up at 4 in the morning with severe cramps and had huge blood clots with white tissue looking thing around it, well sorry if tmi, but I am pretty sure that is a m/c... This would have been my first time ever being pregnant/m/c...Well we have been trying for 5 months and I don't know what to do.. Does he need to know or should I just forget about it? pls help, thx.. What to do? I am confused now, nothing like this has happened b4...pls help...

 

MrsHalvie - August 24

Nicole, I realize you don't know but if I am not mistaken, this is eating you up, right? I would definitely tell him. I realize you don't want to share news that might hurt him. However, it will help you deal with your questions and emotions. If you do consult your dr about it further you will want to share with him. Additionally, if you did miscarry, he lost a child too. He has a right to know and grieve. If this keeps eating at you, don't you think it will make you constantly feel like you are hiding something and not being truthful with him. As I am realizing, for us, sharing this experience is bringing us closer. Do you have any more information to pa__s on regarding whether it was a miscarriage. Were you late for AF or anything? I don't want to tell you you had a miscarriage if you didn't and I don't want you to think you did if you didn't or tell him if you didn't, but as you are questioning and sorting things out it might be helpful to have him helping you. If you could share any more info regarding what happened to determine if it might have been one, that might help get more responses.

 

Kara - August 24

Nicole - I am sorry to hear you are going thru this stressful situation. I hate to ask so many questions, but I am a little fuzzy. Did you know that you were pregnant? Did you take a preg test? Did you miss your period? How late was it? Why would you be hesitant to discuss this with your partner if you have actively been trying to concieve? I can't advise either way without having more details of your problem. I hope it all works out for you. I will be thinking of you.

 

Nicole - August 24

Thank you, Ms.Halfvie.. I think you are right, that is what I feel is right to do also! Kara- no i didn't take a pregnancy test because at that time I had taken sooo many tests months b4 that were negative, I figured I would wait to my next period and see if I missed it. Also, I had just read that many people get positive pregnancy tests and still have there period because they have lost the baby and if they didnt take the test they wouldnt even notice it.. Well, I am kicking my self in the b___t for not testing... I got my period early with really bad cramps and clotting, i never have clotting on a couple tiny pieces but never big clots... and the main big clot had white tissue on it.. As for not telling my fianc'e, I dont want to hurt him, he really wants us to have a baby.. We are still young and can wait but I know it takes time to conceive so we are going with the flow and when it happens we will be ready, I know he really wants one!! It might hurt him and I don't want him to go through a hard time either. I do think he has the right to know, but I am not sure myself, but I will tell him what I think has happened. I hope I don't upset him.. I wish the men had to go through this, it is hard..Sorry for rambling, but ty Mrs.Halvie and hope i cleared some things up for you Kara, any advice from you would be appriecited also? thx

 

Erin - August 24

Hmm... when I had my m/c, my period came 10 days late. The bleeding was thick, black and clotty and I bled for ten days. I had gotten a positive pg test before it though. Also, my cramps started 5 days before my bleeding and lasted through the bleeding... bad cramps for over 2 weeks! Sometimes doubling over in pain. I say, if it's really bothering you, maybe you should call your OB and see if you can get his/her opinion. Also, you might want to take a test now to see what it says. If you were pg, you may still have some of the hormone in your system... and it's also possible that you may still be pg. Good luck to you. I hope you get the answers you're looking for!

 

Kara - August 24

I think you should tell your fiance because you are going to be a nervous wreck next time you get pregnant. You will need some compa__sion and patience from any with whom you share your home :) You should still check with your doctor. If you have indeed miscarried, they may want to check to see if everything has been expelled from you body. I have had three miscarriages. First at 15wks, second at 4wks, and the third at 7wks. The second one was just more blood and a little more clotting than with a usual period. You usually have to be at least 5wks to see tissue. My third one, I actually saw the embryo and it was about the size of a medium sized grape. The fertilized egg doesn't even implant into the uterus until about a week before your period. By the time you miss your period the baby is smaller than a printed dot on top of an "i" so I don't think you would have seen any tissue in you period flow. Was your last period really light? Could you have been 6wks pregnant? If not, you might want to check with your dr to make sure it wasn't a fibroid that you pa__sed. They can interfer with getting and staying pregnant. Good luck!

 

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