Eight Months Stillborn

14 Replies
Chrissy - October 3

I just gave birth to my son the 28'th. He was stillborn. He was perfectly healthy looking, we just don't understand. I know right now we are hurting and maybe we're rushing to fill in a gap but we do want to try to get pregnant again. I was wondering how long we should wait to try? How soon can one get pregnant again? And do you think there are high risks we may face again?

 

Beth - October 3

I can not imagine the pain you must feel, I know you must hear Im so sorry all the time. My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my prayers, I thought that two months is a good time to wait until you can try again. I also know when you are lactacing I thought you dont ovulate. So maybe wait until you are finished lactacting. If you dont mind me asking, why did your baby pa__s? are you getting any answers from your doctors? When it comes to high risks, it really depends on why you son pa__sed. If it was just a freak thing then you are fine to try again but if it was because the genetics were off then you may have to go see a specialist.

 

Chrissy - October 3

Thank you so much, your prayers will help. We don't know anything yet. I was in the clinic the 20'th and his heartbeat was fine. The 27'th we found out he had pa__sed. He was already gone inside me a day or two, so he must've died about four to five days after we heard his heartbeat. I didn't have no pain or anything to indicate, just the movement going down to nothing. The cord was wrapped around his body once but it didn't leave any marks and it wasn't tight so it may of not been the cause. We have to wait for blood work and the autopsy to come back. He was beautiful. I guess with him being our first, we just want to bring life into this world so bad. Thanks you so much for your comfort. We just have to keep faith and not give up hope in life. Bless you.

 

Beth - October 4

You must be climbing the walls waiting for the results, I know I would be. So did you at least get to see him and hold him? It helps with the grief. Did your baby have a name? When do you get the results? So when you didnt feel any movments did you know that something was wrong? I know this is twenty questions. You know that he will be a part of you forever, that is how he lives on. It is just going to take time...a lot of time. That is why it would be smart to wait a little bit before you go for your second. Did you ever ask your doc about concieving again? If you ever need someone to talk to, I will always be all ears. Bless you.

 

Bella - October 4

I am so sorry for your loss. I think that trying again is wonderful. I lost my son on march 29th,2005 my birthday to a cord problem valamentous cord insertion. I am now 20 weeks pregnant. I am seeing a therapist it is helping me cope with my loss. I wish you all the baby dust I understand the pain my baby was 39 weeks and he looked perfect I miss him. I waited 2 months to try again. The problem with my sons cord is 1 in like 3000 chance that it most likely won't happen again. We checked the cord this time it is fine. He was my first and my husbands first boy. If you need to talk I will check back everyday.

 

Alison - October 4

Chrissy I cannot even begin to imagine what you have gone through-I completely understand the desire to bring life into the world and have a child. My DH & I are still trying for our 1st after 3 miscarriages. I just want to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I can't even imagine I am so sorry. My thoughts & prayers are with you and I wish you strength to endure this pain and hope for the future uncluding a healthy child of your own in your arms. Take care xxx

 

lilu - October 4

I lost my daughter on 8/11. My fiance and I want to try again. I was 34 1/2 weeks. Her autopsy results came back and she was a healthy baby so chances of this happening again is very slim. I don't feel as if we're trying to fill the gap but that we're ready to be parents. Sophie will always be our first as your son will always be yours. If you had a v____al birth, the dr. said give ur body time to recover. You'll know when you're body is ready. After 2 cycles is good enough time. If you had c-section, then they say u should wait longer, like 6 months to a year. I just got over my 1st cycle and it's been almost 2 months since I had my daughter so this is the first month of really trying. Which is a shot in the dark b/c I'm not sure how long my cycle is it's harder for my to pinpoint when I'm ovulating so next month will be a better months to try which is 3 months since her birth. Alittle confusing but hope this helps.

 

Cyndi - October 4

I am very sorry and I think it is a good idea for you to try again, You should start trying right after the bleeding stops, you are very fertile after having a baby, I am pretty sure their will be no risks I have a friend who her 3rd baby was born on time everything was fine but came out still born then gor pregnant again and had a healthy little girl. I know it's hard but you and your husband deserve to be parents.

 

Blake - October 5

I was 28wks pregnant and lost my baby boy on 9/21/05. My husband and I have had a difficult 2 weeks dealing with the pain and don't understand why or how this could happen to us. My baby had the cord wrapped around him twice and it was very tight. My doctor thinks it was just a freaky thing but waiting for some results to come back and will have some more testing before we try again. My doctor who I respect and trust very much said we should wait 3 months. I had a v____al delivery. This was our first but I had a missed miscarrige prior and had a D&C. I got pregnant both times on the first try so I just hope I don't have any diff this time. The only thing that keeps me going is trying again eventhough I will never forget my beautiful son Gabryel! Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts and would love to continue e-mailing with you.

 

Bathoko - October 5

Sorry I had a stillborn girl in January 199. I had two miscarriages after that. On 17 September 2003 I had a healthy baby girl. Give your body at least three months. Grieve for your son. As soon as you feel you are ready for another child go for it. Good LucK!

 

Linda - October 6

Hi Chrissy. I just lost my baby at 34 weeks on September 8th. He had hydrops- excessive fluid build up in his lungs and lived for 2 days. I KNOW how you feel. I am going to the doctor next week to ask how soon we can get pregnant again. From what I have researched, I think we have to wait 6 months to a year. Please email me if you would like to talk. [email protected]

 

William - October 13

Hello Chrissy, We also recently lost our daughter Emma. She was born still on March 27, 2005. We had no idea this could happen as my wife had a perfect pregnancy and had no risk factors. 5 days before she delivered we had a perfect doctors appointment and Emma was fine as we saw her on an ultra sound. Then on delivery day they couldn't find a heart beat and our world fell apart. To make a long story short they estimate that Emma pa__sed within 12 hours of my wife's scheduled c-section. Even following all the tests and doctors opinions since March we still do not really know the cause which is difficult. Since March per our doctors suggestion we have gone to grief counceling and it has been very helpful for our marriage and for knowing what to say to our 3 year old son Jack. Each person /couple has to do what is best for themselves. However, both my wifes OB and our grief councelor suggested that we wait 6 months. They both felt this would give us time for my wife to physically recover and prepare to be pregnant again if we so chose. My wife's OB said that she was capable of getting pregnant within 30 days but he did not suggest this. We suggest that you seek the opinion of your OB and other professionals experienced with these events. We speak from experience as do many others on this site. You have our heart felt sympathies and we wish you the best. If you wish to discuss this more please feel free to e-mail us at [email protected] .

 

Chrissy - October 14

It is so comforting to know and really feel with everyone. I felt so alone but hearing all of this really makes me feel like i've got a friend. Bless yous all. And i'm so sorry to hear all of your pain. I'm still going through a weird shocked feeling, I can accept but it's still hard. I keep thinking my son should be here, I imagine him with me and can't understand why he's not yet. It's confusing emotionally. I know yous understand. That feels so good to know everyone understands because they too have experienced this and just the warmth of everyone. Thank you so much. I hope everyone is blessed with the same kind of love and kindness in their lives as yous have all shown me. It really does make a difference. I was just wondering for those who have gone through this, did the hospitals help yous find a place for burial or cremation? Or anything? I just think it's a shame people have to go through this and on top of it, they want you to have a place for your child to go before you leave the hospital - that's what they wanted for me. And then the places want 2000 for a funeral and money upfront and everything else. The state doesn't help fund nothing, either. There should be a program that helps people in this situation - nobody expects it or is prepared. I didn't have the money for anything but a funeral home actually helped me and did a cremation for free and gave his ashes in a heart shaped box for free. I'm going to save up money for a funeral and everything else. I wonder, too, if there's anyway to start some kind of program to help people out with all of this for free or cheaper or something. I just don't want to see others go through this and really be at loss what to do. I was lucky cause someone mentioned to me about the funeral home helping them long ago. If I didn't hear that, I don't know what I would of done. The hospital didn't even offer information or advice, just told me I needed to find out before I left.

 

Blake - October 14

Chrissy-I too was faced with having to make quick decisions about the funeral of my baby. The nurses told my husband and I would needed to start thinking about arrangements just shortly after I was admitted. I was in such shock from the whole thing that I could not even begin to think of this but knew I wanted the right thing for my son. Thanks to my wonerful sister-in-law who helped as with the plans she found a funeral home within our community and they were very kind to us. They made everything easy and it only cost us $250 for the burial. I can understand your concern for others who may have to experince this and make fast decisions about the burial of ther baby and then have to come up with money. There should be more information and help from the hospitals becasue they just tell you, you have to do it and don't supply and information. II only made it through this part thanks to my family support. I agree something needs to be done to help people like you and me.

 

Chris - October 14

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult you ordeal has been. I would like to offer my sympathy. I am by no means educated in this field but am going through a miscarriage with my wife at the moment "Multiple Pregnancy, Possible Miscarriage". It must have been harsh for you both to go through what you have been through. I am sure physically you can have a successful pregnancy pretty much strait away, however you both must grieve for your loss before you are mentally ready to concieve again. I would also consider counseling because you must have really suffered. I hope your partner is also getting support because men feel they have to be strong but we hurt too. I am sorry for you both and wish you all the best, all the happiness and success in the future. Take care

 

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