Emotional-pg114616720218

3 Replies
tf - April 27

Ever since I had the miscarriage, I am so cranky and upset with everyone. I want to find out why my body suddenly doesn't want to carry a baby and no-one understands my need to find out the answers. My hubby even said that it was probably from the stress I "allowed" in my life. He even gets mad that I read posts on here instead of turning to him. He doesn't understand or even try to understand. He figures that I will got over the little one I lost when I get pregnant again.

 

frankschick2001 - April 27

My BF also suggested at one point that it was due to stress, that I had allowed in too! As for my bf, though, I think he went there out of frustration. I, of course took this as him blaming me for hte m/c. But you know what? After it happens, it is an emotional and confusing time. Yes, I think moreso for the woman, but we can't forget that the men are pretty dissapointed and sad too. We are not the only ones who lost something. So when looking for comfort, try giving comfort first, and then maybe you'll actually feel better too. I know that my bf's true feelings didn't even come out for a couple of months after the miscarriage, so even though you think he is fine with it, he may not be. If he is, indeed fine with it all, then ask him to be there for you and allow you to be a b*tch for a while until you getter a better handle on your emotions.

 

karen goode - April 27

First of all stress did not cause your mc. Please don't think that. Unless you experienced one of the 5 major stressors in a person's life. Even then it would be debateable. My mc was a week ago. I spent most of yesterday and today crying. I am extremely fatigued. I am in a Depression which is normal. What you are going through is called grieving. People grieve in different ways. Especially genders. Do not put a time table of grief. You will never fully get over you mc but in time you will get stronger. In regard to your husband being upset about you coming on the board he should understand that it is avenue of support for you. My husband gets upset when I go online and research my condition instead of just going by my doctor. When i experienced my first mc I heard the most unbelieveable reactions from people. My husband got over it rarely quickly. Men are just different. They become emotionally detached that's how they deal with it. I wilh you all the best please don't blame yourself.

 

suzzieq - April 27

TF, Sorry for your loss. I think it is harder for men because they don't have the physical part of a m/c. They don't get what its like to go to the bathroom each time and see the results of a m/c, have the pains and all. I think I know how you feel about not being able to carry a baby. The thing that upsets me is, a woman was made to do it so if I can't I end up thinking, What kind of a woman am I if I can't do this? Men need to think of this kind of like, imagine how they would feel if they couldn't "preform" the way they should! Would they get over the thought of not being able to?! I don't think so, I think it would be in thier mind all the time. I am sorry that he is not being very supportive for you, but like Franks said, it is hard to understand how men are feeling about things. When I began to come to this site, I told my dh, he kind of chuckled, but now knows that it is helping greatly. He even asks sometimes, How are the girls? Or he'll tell me to get on the site and ask what the girls think! Its not that he and I don't talk, he just understands that I need someone who really understands every aspect of having a m/c and how hard it is to ttc, etc. I hope you get the answers you are looking for and wish you very happy wishes for the future!!

 

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