Emotional Problems After Miscarriages

5 Replies
At a loss - February 13

I just finished having my second miscarriage in the past year. While both were early miscarriages and happned naturally, I'm feeling very numb and some days, downright depressed. The second time I got pregnant, I began being terrified immediatly and obessed about the hcg numbers, etc. In retrospect, I'm not sure I really dealt with the loss of the first baby. Does anyone have a solution to this pain? I'm too afraid to try again, but if I wait much longer, I'll be too old and will never have a baby.

 

M - February 14

I am so sorry for your losses. I had two miscarriages last year as well. I had a D&C six days ago because my body didn't expel all the tissue from the m/c ten weeks ago. That was my second miscarriage. My first m/c was natural. After I found out I was pregnant the 2nd time I was so happy then the fear set in and I checked the toilet paper every time I wiped. When I started bleading I broke down and cried till I was drained. Now, I'm like you, scared to death to try again. I keep asking myself if two miscarriages is a sign that I shouldn't have another baby. Is there something wrong with me? I just don't know what to think or feel. I talk to my husband and he tells me to quit thinking about it so much and relax. So that's what I'm trying to do. We have never used protection so I guess we'll continue with that. And let whatever happens--happen. I just pray I won't have to go through the horrible pain of another loss. The only thing that really helps my pain is talking about it. I can give you my email address if you need someone to talk to. Well, I wish you the best of luck!!

 

k - February 14

I have a friend who suffered two miscarriages and had a successful pregnancy afterwards. The doctor told them to wait 6 months before trying again after the last miscarriage and they got pregnant a few months after (on accident). She now has a healthy baby girl who is three months old. I hope this can give you both some light at the end of the tunnel. Take Care,

 

At a loss - February 16

Thank you M. and K. I know this forum has helped a little. I keep coming back here and reading about others who feel the same. I'm having some cramps today, and think I might be getting my period. It's been so long , it will be really weird. And then we'll have a decision whether to really try or not. It's a hard one. I want to go to an endrocinologist to have everything checked out, but it's just so costly. I also thought if I got pregnant again I' would try progestrone, since so many women seem to think it works. I just don't know, a large part of me just wants to give up...it's a dark place, though.

 

mulgajill - February 16

oh dear, it doesn't matter if the m/c were 'early' or natural... you go from planning a life with a baby one day to NOthing the next day... it is bloody awful.... you say you are getting old... well i am 43 and trying next weekend again (never give up is my motto in life).... so you are probably a spring chicken compard to me... my solution to the pain in the past was to ignore it , now i find that reading others thoughts and feelings on the net helps a great deal... there is not much empathy from friends and family unless they have been through it, in a lot of cases, they just can't understand what the big deal is.... perhaps if you read my post to stay-c "two blighted ovums in row" it may help.... cheers from downunder.... :-)

 

J - February 17

I am going through my second m/c right now. It is so hard to take that this happens to me again after my first m/c in Oct, 2003 at about 6 weeks. I have cried a lot since last week when I knew my 2nd HCG result, it increased but too low I thought. Like you, I was so obsessed by the HCG with my pregancy this time. I was panic when I did not have stronger symtoms as time went by, I rush to have a second blood test hoping that I was just lucky enough to be spared by the nausea that my baby is growing well. But it was not. I felt so hopeless and could not think anything related to the baby. But everything reminds me of it. I wished I could be in deep sleep and never wake up. My husband is a great comfort to me though he is taking his grief too. He encourages me to take good care of myself so I can have a healthy pregancy next time. It is not easy, but I know that's what I should do, so I started to control my emotions. Yes, talking it out to the people with same experience definitly help to relieve the pain, I have found this forum very helpful in this way. I am also planning to take up some yoga exercise to help me to heal mentally, I heard that it will help too. Beside, I do think it is worthwhile to do a complete health check up, just to make sure we don't have any problems before trying to get pregnant again. And remember, be good to yourslef.

 

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