Feeling Lost-pg117349261742

5 Replies
pba74 - March 9

Hello, I'm new to the forums and I really don't have a question. I just need some advice and some one to talk to. My husband thinks I need a therapist, but I know I can't be the only one that has had 2 m/c. The last one was about three weeks ago and the doctor said it was an early one. Since it wasn't confirmed by "their" pregn. test and my HCG was at a 9, they said it was an early one. I had a m/c in Nov and ended up having a D&C. I want a baby so bad and yet I'm so scared of not being able to. I have a loving husband and he would make such a great father, but he handles these things differently. I am very impatient and really want one NOW. I don't even want to wait the 9 months. Is that bad? All of my friends who are in their late 20's have children and I'm 33 and just start to try. I didn't get married until last year. I live 1500 miles away from all my friends/family and I don't feel I have anyone to talk to. My husband doesn't really want to talk about it. He says when it happens it will happen. But what if? When do I ask for tests? My doctor doesn't seem to give any answers except, "it happens to a lot of women. It's totally normal." I DON'T FEEL NORMAL!!!!! I feel like a complete failure and I think I'm going to lose my mind if one more person tells me, "it just isn't your time." Can anyone relate or am I being completely irrational about this?

 

sososleepy - March 10

Hi pba. No, it isn't bad. Lots of us are that impatient! 33 is still very good. I've only had one mc, and I understand that most docs wait for 3 to do extensive testing. I think we'd feel more normal if people talked about it. I told everyone at work I was pg as soon as I found out (lesson there duh), only to have to un-tell them a few weeks later. I had to un-tell them for over a month, and I suspect a few will still pop up who don't know about the mc yet. Obviously that was miserable... however as I un-told, so many women told me their stories. I had no idea. If I had known about even half of their mc's, I think I'd have been less stunned/shocked/slammed... there are no words, but at least I'd have considered it a possibility. While that wouldn't have helped, in a way it would have. Hang in there pba! Hugs.

 

finallythree - March 15

Hello, my name is melissa. I just miscarried on tue. morning, this was my third one I do already have two children but really wanting another, each time I got so happy when finding out then reality set in and i would miscarry. The father is like your husband, I was so upset w/ friends and family "everything happens for a reason" & " wasn't meant to be" YOu are feeling like any woman would, I am still very depressed over my m/c. When that day comes I give you and your family the best of luck!!! You ill be in my prayers along w/ your precious lil' one. I wish the best for you and myself... I feel reaching out towards other women in here really has helped, so thank you in return. Mel

 

Fall - March 15

pba74, I know how you feel.... I just had a mc in nov. (81/2 wks) and it looks like I'm having another (61/2 wks). I'm so frustrated, I don't know if I even want to try again. I want to have a child but I really don't want to go through another mc. It takes a real toll on you emotionally. My husband reacted the same way... but I let him deal with it his own way. He doesn’t wear his emotions on his sleeves and I'm sure he is upset about it. Hang in there, don't loss hope XO

 

knox33 - March 15

Hi pba74 and everyone. I'm also 33 so understand the pressure to have at least one healthy baby soon. We miscarried at 18 weeks on Tuesday. While I'm mourning little Sara Evelyn and so happy to have had the chance to hold her - we're looking forward to trying again once I'm fully recovered. You can't listen to anyone else right now, except for God, your hubbie and folks who've truly been there. Don't worry about the rest of them. I don't think any woman who's lost a child can feel normal. But what we can all feel who've had a m/c is blesed to be able to conceive and have hope that we can conceive again. I've been diagnosed with PCOS and until we got pregnant wasn't sure that I'd be able to. So I feel luckier than others who have never been pregnant even though I lost mine. Try to find any shred of positivity to hang on to to get you through until the next pregnancy. But try to stay calm - worry is not going to help you get pregnant and may hurt. Make plans for a trip or new project - in my case trying to get off pregnancy weight and get healthy to try for baby #2. Take care and don't let anybody invalidate your feelings.

 

pba74 - March 15

Thanks FINALLYTHREE...I'm so sorry for you miscarriage. My heart goes out to you and your family. I feel blessed already to have found other women on this thread to confide in. FALL - I'm also sorry for your losses. Men are different from us. It would be nice to see them understand by showing some emotion, but you are right. Letting them deal with it in their own way is best. KNOX --worrying is my weakness. I know the stress is not good and no matter what the doctors tell me about stress not causing a m/c, I am convince that is what happened to me. I am truly due of a vakay since we never took a honeymoon and I haven't been anywhere outside my hometown in 8 years! So, I'm due. I am charting my temp...just to set my mind at ease. I have been getting pangs in my lower abdomin and pelvic area for the past few days. I know I O'vd last week so I try not to wonder too much if it could be implantation pain. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts positive that one day I will be a mother. I wish all of you ladies the best of luck. I feel so much better knowing that I've found this forum to confide in.

 

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