Feeling Lost

3 Replies
Lynn - June 19

Hi everyone, im looking for some advice or help. I miscarried at 15 weeks 7 days ago, the baby's development had stopped at 9 weeks so i continued on for many weeks thinking that i was still pregnant but not really feeling pregnant(if that makes any sense) i keft going to my doctor telling hime i didnt feel right but each time i was brushed off, they also never detected fetal heart with the doppler. When i started spotting i knew inside what was going to happen. They rushed me on the ambulance to a bigger center for u/s. once there it was really late so they poked me on the maternity floor in a room with new mom and baby...i was sooooo devastated. I had a d&c the next night. physically everything is great, no cramping bleeding ois stopped but emotionally im so hurt. initially after the d&c i did really well, i thought that i had accepted it. now a week later everyone has gone back about there lives and i feel like im lost!!! i miss the baby soo much, its like im in a dream. last night we went out to a friends party and this am i feel so guilty for enjoying myself...this proabaly sounds so stupid. my bf has been excellent through the whole ordeal but he has also gone back to normal...i dont want to forget the pregancy and almost feel like ttc right away. Are my feelings irrational HELP need advice.

 

Mandie - June 20

I know exactly what u mean, I lost my little boy on the 1st june i was 16.5 weeks pregnant....I went to the hospital in agnony and they told me the pain couldn't be that bad cos I only had a fibroid... I went for an u/s and baby was sucking his thumb nothing wrong with him...They kept me in for observation cos of all the blood and clots I was losing... I called for the nusre in the middle of the night and she told me to stop being silly and that lots of women come in with fibroids and don't get on the way i was....3 hrs later I delivered my dead son into a bedpan over the toilet.... Thats the bit that haunts me...every time I close my eyes I can see him all curled up. His little mouth was open and one of his hands on his face....I wish I caould have hime back...I have 2 girls and a boy would have finished my family...I can't help thinking if I had made a bigger fuss then maybe some1 would have listened to me when I was saying there was nothing wrong...After the D and C turns out there was no fibroid there at all. I had the m/c on a Wed morning, every tue nite I keep thinking ''this time 2 weeks agoe he was ok'' It almost feels like I'm losing him all over again..Sometimes I find myself forgetting and putting my hand on my tummy waiting for him to start moving around again but thats not gona happen..... I know i'm no where near perfect and of coarse I'm not the best parent in the world but I don't think I deserved to lose him...The hospital didn't listen to me because of my age (21) they just a__sumed I was a silly little girl....they messed with the wrong person as I have filed a law suit against them for neglect.....Anyway i'm sorry for your loss and I guess after any loss any1 would be irrational and emotional...all perfectly normal I guess. Take care all xxx

 

Lynn - June 20

mandie, im sorry for your loss. I agree with you also. i found that my age (23)also caused the hospital staff to ignore me a little. they always brushed me off as over reaacting since it was my first prenancy. It will never happen like that again, i will learn to be more a__sertive and ensure that everything will be done with my next pregnancy. I hope you are doing okay, take care

 

Megan - June 20

Lynn, you are feeling completely normal. I m/c on Mothers day, and every time I look a pregnant woman, or a new mom my heart aches. The loss is real, and you have every right to grieve. People deal with loss differently, and because you carried the baby, you will feel his/her loss the greatest and it will take you more time to heal. Try not to feel guilty for having fun, you aren't missing or loving your baby any less. While your body may be ready for pregnancy again, your heart and mind may not be over your loss. That is the biggest reason why doctors tell us to wait a few months before trying again. They want us to have time to grieve our loss and heal. That being said, if you truly feel that you are ready to try again, then much baby dust to you. Take care.

 

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