Feeling Lost And Emotional

2 Replies
Maree - November 6

After 2 m/c's My dh and I have been trying unsuccessfully to fall pregnant. Now I am finding myself surrounded by close friends and family who are all falling pregnant. Each week another person or two add themselves to the list. I smile and congratulate them and then inside I feel like a knife sticks alittle deeper into my heart. I'm not sure how to cope anymore? I'm also scared of resenting these lovely people. What can I do to stop feeling so lost and sad?(except for falling pg and that scares me too.) Help.

 

meg - November 6

hi Maree-I know exactly how you are feeling. I, too, had a m/c on July 20, 2005 and was 9 wks and 5 days pregnant when I found out that my child had died at 6 wks and 4 days. I know what you are going through. I am so happy for the people around me are pregnant, yet it kills me to hear it and I feel like it will never go away. My heart sinks and it brings me deeper into depression. Sometimes I feel like I should be taking zoloft or something b/c I burst into tears at such random times. The feelings never totally go away. Sometimes you just need to get through a day and take it one day at a time. I have bout a memory bracelet, statues, angel pins, etc, etc b/c that's what makes me feel better at that moment. What makes you most sad? Well, I wish you all the luck in the world ttc and hope that you fall pregnant very soon. May God bless you. Take care and lots of baby dust to you!!

 

Kara - November 6

For months I felt resentful and bitter at every pregnant person I knew. I made a point to avoid them. But one of my coworkers who I was never that close to but who would always come to me for professional advice, finally came out that she was pregnant at 16 weeks. She said she was ashamed of being pregnant when I had lost 2 babies (I have since lost a 3rd). Since I worked with her I couldn't exactly avoid her. I could not stand to look at her. She tried to hide her belly and would change the subject when others brought up her pregancy in my presence. But I still hated her. One day after getting stuck by her protruding belly in narrow storage closet, I decided that I just couldn't go on feeling this way. So I went home gathered up some maturity clothes that I had purchased early that had been too small for me. I also found the canister of formula I had gotten in the mail and all of the "american baby" magizines that kept coming to the house and put them all in a bag in the trunk of my car. So whenever I worked with her and started to feel resentful, I would take a five minute break and go to my car. I would sit out there for a few moments to gain my composure the select one item from the bag and take it in and give to her. I did this once or twice a week until all the items were gone. By the time the bag was empty, I felt better. Yes I still get sad every now and then when I see her big belly, but I'm alot better now. I don't hate her anymore. I don't think you feel tht way forever. Give yourself some time. As for being scared about getting pregant, I don't have that one completely figured out yet, but sometimes you just have to push thru those feelings so we don't miss out on all the great things that are out there.

 

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