First Pregnancy First Miscarriage

8 Replies
Nopi - February 7

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for almost 1, and decided last October to get off birth control. I found out in January that i was 5 weeks pregnant and we were ecstatic! I wanted to tell everyone right away because i was so excited, so we did. We got positive reactions from all of our friends and my family...the first thing his mother said was "im not going to get happy until the end of February when i know that baby is sticking, because you white girls have a tendency of throwing them out" ...i let it go and focused on US and being pregnant! I was under a lot of stress because we recently lost our house, of 3 years, and the friend we were staying with has a girlfriend that is nothing short of being psycho. I tryed hard to remain calm and relax. 7 weeks, to the day, pregnant i woke up and just started bleeding. I went to the emergency room and got the news that, i knew in my heart, was inevitable. My horomone lvls were 156 at 7wks prego, when they should have been at LEAST 7,000! I spent the weekend crying about it. My husband and I handled it and once i saw the OB and we knew i didnt need the D&C we were relieved. It has been a week since my miscarriage and although i still wish i was pregnant i am ok. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so i am not bitter or upset about loosing out right now. I feel like i grieved, in my own way, and am ready to move forward and focus on the now. The Dr said to wait another week before we start "trying" again..but i am so anxious! Now, more than ever, i want to be pregnant and be a mom! Being a mom was not something i always dreamed about...but now i dont want anything more! A friend of mine had a miscarriage a few months ago, and she was not as lucky as me to have a "smooth" one. We have a theory that the birth control played a part in it. We both have just been off it for a few months when we became pregnant. Then my Dr said that my ovaries are just waking up after being on BC for so long. I think my pregnancy was doomed from the beginning because the 3 home tests and the 1 clinic test i took the + line was barely there...which means my horomone lvls were always low! Maybe this miscarriage was just a "practice" for my body, being that it happened soo soon after stopping BC. The only time i get semi-sad now is when my friends who are prego give me news. One friend just found out shes having a girl, another finds out the s_x on the 21st, and another is almost ready to give birth to her 3rd baby (1st boy). I am so happy for them, but a little part of me hurts inside because they are prego still and everything is going great for them They have all been extremely supportive in our loss and soo considerate of my feelings. I want them to share with me, and i am happy for them...i just want to be going thru it as well! I know some women take a while to grieve over loosing a baby, and it has forever changed me. I guess i am just lucky that it did happen early on, before any of the ultrasounds or anything like that. I guess i dont have a question, just wanted to share my story with anyone who wants to read. :-) I feel like God put me thru this for a reason, and i know i am a stronger person because of it. All i know is that i will have my chance to be a mom, and i want that more than anything in life now! Heres to hoping for another chance at motherhood, sooner rather than later...im a rather impatient person! :-)

 

jirzlee - March 6

Thank you for writing this, from my now broken heart

 

zam - March 11

Hi Nopi. I am sorry but I am also in your situations "first pregnant, first miscarriage. I want to share my story you. I am married for 3 years. and my period is not regular, some times 3mos, 6mos. and i went to doctor, he gave me birth control for treatment. After a while I stopped, and my period did come. . Because I did not have OHIP, My husband sponsors me for 3 year. My case still did n't approve until now. And any time I went to doctor, I have to pay. I spent a lot of money on doctor and birth contol because my period did not come since i stopped the BC.I went to another doctor again , he told me I had to lose wieght.and still took BC. I took BC after 3mos, then I stopped again. Then my last period was nov3. then dec,jan,then feb 5. i was bleed. You know what I thought that was a period. I did n't know anything. It bleeded 1day,2day,3day. I don't that related to what I ate or not and I ate green beans, crabs .the fourth day that night bleed alot alot alot, my under stomach so hurt on and off , i still thought period. Whole night I couldn't sleep. untill tommorw I went to family doctor he thought my intestinal and he gave me medicine .it still hurt alot, at night i can't stand. my husband took me to Emergency. I spent $400 to get inside.then they took my urine. After a while , the doctor came in and gave me and my husband a big shock that he said he saw my blood level that I am pregance. At that time i felt happy and sad. happy that i can be pregnancy because doctor said my pregancey percent really low. Sad that I can be lost it because it was bleed a lot so many days and doctor took me to do ultrasound to find out why bleed. I spent $300 for that. after 6 hours they said I am threatened abortion and sent me home and told me go to gynecology. After i called my gynecology they said i had to pay $120 to see him and $1200 because I am pregnancy. After 2 days i went to doctor he told me that i lost it completely. I was sad sad. if i can knew it early early early then i can save it. And i think it related to what i ate that night. if it can give me some more noticed ,vomit or something . I could not stop to think about it since then almost 4 weeks .I wish i have known I was pregnancy. Maybe I can save baby. How stupid am I because I did not have any clues, only my b___st hurts, I just thought that is normal for period. Sorry my story so long Hope we are in luck again.

 

zam - March 11

And I did not tell anybody, even family .Only me and husband. And only i share with everybody who have read my story. thanks

 

.:Krystal:. - March 11

I am sorry for your loss. I too had a miscarriage and it was my first pregnancy as well. I was 8 wks and the baby stopped growing at 5. I know how tough it is. I hope that you get pregnant again real soon and have a healthy sucessful pregnancy!

 

jamjeng - March 20

I'm 36. I was also recently pregnant for the first time (after trying for 3 years). Miscarried last week at 9 wks (baby stopped growing at 5) just like Krystal. That is a difficult hump in the first trimester to get over from all the posts I've read on here. Plus, I've had to attend baby showers for friends last weekend and this weekend. PLUS, our 21 year old unmarried, barely employed, uninsured cousin told us she's pregnant! That was the last straw for me! Seems like every direction I look, someone is announcing a new pregnancy. I'm thinking positive that it'll be me again in a few months. Get back on that horse and try again ladies! Thank you for sharing! Glad I'm not alone!

 

Nopi - March 23

Hi Ladies, thank you all for your stories and thoughts. It has been almost 8wks since my miscarriage...and once i got AF back i felt soo much better, because i knew my body was back to normal. My husband and I decided to wait to tell everyone until after the first trimester for the next time were pregnant..i dont want to go through telling everyone and then telling them about another m/c. Zam - i am sorry for your loss. ill keep you and your hubby in my prayers for a BFP. :-) Jam - i understand totally! it took me a while to be "ok" with seeing pregnant women and baby things...and i have friends that are pregnant around me. But one old co worker text messaged me last week to tell me she was 8wks pregnant... i said "congratz im happy for you!" she said "don't be, im getting rid of it!" i lost it! how dare she say that to ME...considering that she knows about my m/c....i was angry for a minute...why her and not me...but i just had to relax and believe that God will give us a baby when he sees fit. I wish all of you the best of luck with a BFP in the near future and when you do.. a H&H9mos! :-)

 

SawahmySawah - March 24

HEY GUYS! I GUESS I COULD SHARE MY STORY AS WELL. WELL HERE GOES.. I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A BABY, MOST OF MY FRIENDS HAVE KIDS AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. ONCE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND DECIDED TO HAVE ONE, IT TOOK US ABOUT 6 MONTHS TO ACTUALLY CONCEIVE, BUT WHEN WE DID I COULDNT EVEN IMAGINE THAT I WOULD LOSE THE BABY. I WENT IN FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT AND I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE 6 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS, BUT ALL THEY SAW WAS THE GESTATIONAL SAC AND NOTHING ELSE. WE WAITED 2 MORE WEEKS, AND STILL THE SAME. I HAD A D&C ON FEB 4TH, I JUST COULDNT BARE TO WAIT FOR MY BODY TO NATURALLY DISPOSE OF THE BABY. IT WAS TO HARD. EVEN TO THIS DAY I HAVE A HARD TIME WALKING BY BABY CLOTHES AND SEEING ALL MY CO WORKERS HAVING BABIES. I AM HOPPING SOON IT WILL HAPEN FOR US

 

ACC3877 - March 26

Hello Everyone! Two weeks ago i took 2 prego test at home and good news after being married 3 years came, i was PREGGERS! I paniced, didn't know what to expect. My husband and i had a rough year and a half where he almost lost his life due to a staph infection but pulled through though still recovering. So this news was such joy to us! i made an appt to my GYN the next day. I was 5 weeks prego and my blood work came back great, progesteron a little low but they said it was ok because it was still early. My hcg came back in the 4,000 range. They did a v____al ultrasound and saw nothing so told me to come back in a week. i didn't worry because it was still early. I went last week, at 6 weeks for another ultrasound. This time they saw a sac perfectly but no fetus. The doctor was concerned and sent me for more blood work and told me if next week, today, they didn't ses anything, they were going to discuss with me getting a D&C. My blood work came back perfect. My progesteron came back slightly high and my hcg had almost doubled to the 7,000 range. Today i went, at 7 weeks for my third ultrasound and they said there was no fetus. They said i miscarried and that the sac actually got smaller. They told me they have to perform a D&C. It has been such a sad day for me and my husband! They keep asking me if i've been bleeding but nothing, i've never bled. They want to schedule me for a D&C tomorrow but i need time to take this all in. I want to wait a few days, do it next week. This is my first baby, first miscarriage. Any advise out there?

 

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