First Pregnancy M C

22 Replies
duckiec - January 17

I was just wondering how many others out there had their first pg end in m/c. And, what happened after that- when was the next try, was it just fine, or.. sadly, not? Like everyone else, I'm terrified for next time (if /when there is one), and worried (perhaps selfishly) that we've stumbled on a much bigger problem then "it happens." It seems some women are somewhat comforted to know that their children mean they can do it... first timers have no idea. What are your experiences?

 

stefkay - January 17

duckiec, my first pregnancy was with a different man than the one I've been with now for 6 years and I had an abortion (many reasons, not to go into here). Later after meeting my current bf, I got pregnant and that ended in what the dr. thought was an ectopic so they did a d&c. I think it was just a missed m/c. I got pregnant 2 times very quickly after that and they both ended very early on by natural m/c. Those could be considered chemical pregnancies and I figured it happened b/c it was so soon (within 3 to 4 months after first m/c) and the lining of my uterus and my body in general just wasn't ready. 2 years later and now I am having one again. A missed m/c I am waiting to miscarry naturally and in a horrible emotional place. I don't know if this is a problem with us as a couple or not. I am healthy as far as my dr. can see, so I just don't know. A lot of my sadness comes from the fact that before I got pg I knew I wouldn't get many more chances as my bf didn't really want to try again after what I went through before. When pregnant I worried everyday I would lose the baby, mainly because in the back of my mind I thought I might not get another chance. Well, here I am and I don't think he's going to want to try again. I don't know where the relationship will go if that's the case because I'm not getting any younger. It all sucks. Sorry I couldn't be more optimistic right now, you are fine I am sure because m/c happens so much. It really doesn't become a concern until it happens 2 or more times. My heart goes out to you as I know how painful this is. xoxo

 

bm - January 17

Duckiec, I am sorry about your loss and wish you the best of luck next time you try. I already had two miscarriages in 2006 (1st on was chemical and second at 10W) since we started trying to conceive and I am now 17W pregnant. Not sure if you knew but chemical pregnancies happen in 25% of pregnancies, so it is very common. I spoke with different doctors whether I should wait several months to get pregnant and they said not necessarily because my losses were so early tha t my body could heal with one or two cycles. After my second loss they did all kinds of testing and I found out that I have Factor V Leiden, a type of inherited thrombophilia, which could cause blood clots in me and my baby. This and many other blood clotting issues are usually a factor in recurrent miscarriages, so Stefkay may sure they test you for this before you try next time. For this pregnancy they gave me baby aspirin since we were trying and also lovenox (heparin) inyections on a daily basis. The only issue with this pregnancy is that we do not know how it will evolve, despite excellent NT tests results they found club feet on my baby and we had to do an amnio because it may be marker for much worst things, we need to wait for two more weeks. Good luck with future pregnancies!

 

jdstrong80 - January 17

Hi duckiec--I had a m/c Dec 10, 06 and it's been a weird roller-coaster for my emotions. My dh and I weren't ttc-we've been married and off the pill for a year but not "actively trying." My b-i-l and his wife told us they were pregnant in Sept., then in Oct my best friends told me she was too..then in November I tested + too! So it was very exciting to be able to give extra thanks at thanksgiving. I started bleeding at 9w -- 3 days before my 10w u/s to see the heartbeat though --and that u/s showed the baby only at 6w. I was ok for most of the m/c (I had bleeding for 22 days) with occasional meltdowns whenever I'd talk to my s-i-l, and tried to be rational (ie, "this happens to alot of women...") but it's still hard sometimes. It was such a totally unexpected thrill for a few weeks, and now I just feel letdown by my body. I'm healthy, eat the right foods, work-out, etc etc...I feel 100% fine physically, but mentally still worried about what happens next time. And not quite sure how to get over that--maybe you don't--but I definitely don't want to be nervous for 9 months!

 

stefkay - January 17

I am so worried about the actual m/c I can't do it naturally if I will bleed for 22 days! I am supposed to keep the tissue for testing and I couldn't bear to keep that around and "gather" for that long. No freakin way. I just don't want another d&c! I'm really scared right now and not sure how this will go...ugh

 

oct19bad - January 17

Stefkay, What a terrible situation you are going through. My heart goes out to you. As for m/c naturally, i tried as well but it did not all come out so i needed a D & C. But the stuff that came out naturally came out in big pieces, maybe you just have to gather the big pieces for tissue testing. and Duckiec -- I tool M/C on my first pg and it totally sucked but i am going to try again in 3 cycles, so far i have had one. my Dr said if you fall off a horse you have to get back on and ride.. pretty stupid but you wont know unless you try right? I mean i am terrified but at least i know what to expect if it happeneds again. god forbid

 

duckiec - January 17

Thanks, ladies for your stories and support. I'm sorry we are all here to share them. Stefkay- I found the waiting to see what would happen worse than knowing it was "final" - my heart is with you. I'm a "get back on the horse" kind of person too- but it does help to hear the trails others have endured before me. Best wishes to all.

 

jdstrong80 - January 17

stefkay--the bleeding wasn't so bad, just like a long, slow period. I had cramps and pa__sed most of the tissue early, and then just had to wait for everything else to follow--my doc isn't big on doing D&Cs. The worst part was thinking, oh my god, what if I bleed forever?? Well, and trying not to be so emotional at work, since I hadn't told anyone yet--having it dragged out was a daily reminder that everything was over. I hope everything is ok and so sorry for this m/c you're going through now. We're all here to chat and offer support when you need it though.

 

stefkay - January 17

thanks, I'm glad to hear that and I am really sorry for your loss. It's just life, but it's not pleasant at all. I was hoping that the tissue part would be quick and early. Now this may be a tmi question, but can I use tampons after the main part or do I have to use pads? This seems like it could be messy. I hate pads. Anyways, thank you all for the support. I'm finding it really hard to come on this site because it is almost like a ritual or obsession that I got used to when i was going on to the first trimester board before this m/c c___p. I keep going there to read the posts and I feel sicker and sicker each time I do. It is so depressing. I really need to quit like it's a bad habit...

 

stefkay - January 17

when I went back to reread my post i think that first couple of sentences sounded bad...I meant to say it's just life as in--life happens, i.e. s**t happens--It almost sounds like I am referring to the loss itself as life and it "just happens" --that's not what I meant. I just was typing and then read it and it read weird. Agghh, sorry you know I wouldn't say anything tactless at this point as I myself am hypersensitive at this point. None of that probably just made sense anyways...lol ;-)

 

Rhiannon - January 17

Hi duckiec. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was a horrible time. I ended up hemmoraging and being sent for an emergency d&c. Two cycles later I found I was pregnant agian. It was twins and I was terrified. I now have 2 healthy 5 month old girls. I really don't want to upset anyone, I would just like to offer hope to duckiec. I am so sorry for all of your losses. But to be honest my eight month pregnancy was absolute torture. This is a great site for support.

 

DownbutnotOUT - January 17

I am very sorry for your lose and I know 2 people who m/c'd there first's. my cousins wife had a m/c a couple years back with her first and waited a year before ttc again and she now has a happy and healthy baby boy. Than my older brother and his wife finally decided to have a baby in 2006 and got preggers they lost the baby, a missed m/c so similar to mine it was crazy scary, it was there first. About 2 or 3 months later they ttc and concieved, she is now due the end of July and the first u/s showed a healthy peanut with a strong heartbeat. Once again I am sorry and I pray that your next one sticks, take care.

 

darra - January 18

I am so sad to know that all of you are going through this, but very thankful to have found you. I went for my first u/s last Monday at 12 w and there was no heartbeat. I had no idea that there was anything wrong. I had not had any cramping or bleeding. By Wednesday afternoon I started spotting and by Friday, when I saw my doctor I was cramping quite badly. I opted for the d and c, as I was terrified to see what may come out and I just wanted it to be over. I had the d and c on Sunday morning. I was still cramping, bleeding, and pa__sing clots yesterday. After speaking to my friend's father, who is a ob/gyn, I went for another u/s and there is still tissue left over. I am now on an antibiotic in case of infection and waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if I will need another d and c. At this point I just want to feel like myself again. I had terrible morning sickness and now I just feel crummy. My husband wants to try again right away, but I just need to feel good again... but I really do want a baby.

 

hailey07 - January 18

I am currently going through my first pregnancy and first m/c. I am too very worried that I will not be able to have another baby. All my life I just had a feeling that I wouldn;t be able to concieve, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I was so rea__sured. Now that this pregnancy is ending in m/c my feelings of infertility are coming back, but my OB rea__sured me that plenty of women have m/c's and go on to have helathy babies. No one can understand a m/c unless they've had one, so I think that it really is up to you and your partner when you start to try again. Hope all goes well for you in the future.

 

jessica72 - January 18

It's true, you just can't relate until it happens to you. It's shockingly common. I m/c my first baby at 8weeks and it amazed me how many women, close friends even, came forth with their own m/c stories. and they all have healthy babies, some with two or three. I know three women who had two m/c in a row and now have children. My DH and I conceived 3 mos. after my m/c and I am now in week 24 with what looks like a healthy baby girl. It has been 24 weeks of worry and wait and I am just now learning to let go and enjoy this second chance. Hugs to all :)

 

darra - January 18

That's interesting, I have often had those same worries about infertility. Just over a year ago I had an irregular pap and had to go for a biopsy, a leep and several check ups. The ob/gyn convinced me that it would not affect my chances of pregnancy, I did not believe him until I was pregnant. Once pregnant I had no worries, I was fine. Now I am terrified to try again. I became a crazy person when we were ttc and I think that I will be the same and then be constantly worried about m/c. It's probably way too early to even be thinking about it.

 

duckiec - January 18

Now that you mention it- I was always worried that I'd have problems, too. For no reason in particular, but it was always a thought in the back of my mind. When we saw no HB at 12 weeks, while I was devastated, it was also "well, thats about what I expected" even though I had no idea before that U/S. In one circle of friends, I'm the only m/c. But I know several coworkers/aquaintainces that have all lost their first. Wonder whats in the water in Wash. DC? And no doubt- crazy person (ttc, the TWW, and hopefully next time) will be back (ok, never left!).

 

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