Friend Had M C What Do I Say Do

7 Replies
Adrienne - August 17

I lost my first baby very early on, about 8 weeks. So I know what do do for a person grieving an early pregnancy loss. But my friend just lost her baby @ 20 wks. What is the best thing someone did or said for you when you were grieving? I want to help her so badly, but I do NOT want to hurt her any more than she's already hurting!

 

Kim D03 - August 17

I lost my baby at 6weeks early too. I think the best thing is to be there for her and listen. Just by that she will know that you care about her and her baby. I wish someone was like that for me. I'm very sorry for your loss and your friends. Take Care. Kim D03

 

Jill - August 17

The best thing you can do is be there for her. I lost my baby at 6 weeks. I know it wasn't very far along but it still felt terrible. The one thing that she probably doesn't want to hear is that it was meant to be. Even though that may be the case, it isn't something she is ready to hear...at least not yet. She is lucky to have a friend like you.

 

Q - August 17

Read throught the post t_tled "how to get over hurtful comments after m/c" and that will give you ideas what not to do. However, as you are obviously a caring person, I am sure that you will probably know what to say/do.

 

San Fran - August 18

I went through my miscarriage last week. When friends told me that I was "strong" and "courageous" it really helped me to feel that way. Just listen to her and be supportive. You sound like a great friend!

 

Adrienne - August 18

Adrienne I am very sorry for your loss-I think it shows what a good friend you are that you are seeking advice on how to help your friend during the time of hers. What a terrible thing for her to lose her baby at 20 weeks I am so sorry to hear this.The best thing people have done for me is to simply tell me they are so sorry, give me a hug (depending who it was!) and be there if I should need to talk. It's tricky because we don't want people to talk about it to us all the time but we want people to acknowledge it too and not seem to be ignoring what has happened. I appreciate when friends are sensitive on the subject of pregnancy/babies so as not to upset me in talking about things in front of me. I also appreciate when people remember anniversary dates-the due date when it comes for instance. No one has ever seemed to realise the importance of our due dates-I realise it's not significant to them but I felt at the time (Ihave pa__sed 2 of my due dates now-next one is in January) I would have really appreciated a card saying "thinking of you today and remembering your loss" as things like the due dates are very hard. Anyway I'm getting off subject a bit here-sorry! I'm sure you will be a huge support to your friend I wouldn't worry..especially as you have experienced a loss yourself and have been there too. I'm sure having a friend like you will mean so much to her just now. Bless you for your kindness xxx

 

Alison - August 18

Sorry that last post was from me! xxx

 

Alison - August 18

P.s Maybe she would like to post on this website? xxx

 

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