Guilt

4 Replies
Jill - March 25

since my m/c, I haven't had many good moments. But sometimes when I do, I feel guilty because I don't want to forget what I have lost. I also get angry when someone tries to make me laugh. I am so tired of feeling all of these emotions. People say it will make me stronger and love my next baby even more. But I already know that I would and do love the baby that I lost more than I can express. This wasn't really a question, just a thought.

 

Alison - March 25

Hi Jill, I can relate to the guilt. I know I shouldn't feel it but it creeps in doesn't it. Feeling happy about other things does not take away from the sorrow of your loss or make you "insensitive" in the slightest! Please don't think that. I felt the same way to begin with and now it's more guilt of not providing my DH, parents with a child/grandchild - which is crazy as what's happened is not in my control but the feelings still come. People say things to be nice- of course you will love your next baby and of course you love the baby you lost! They were yours and always will be. They might not have been here long but they were a significant and important part of your life and always will be. Anyway I'm rambling on as usual, sorry just wanted to say I understand xxx

 

mulgajill - March 26

Guilt is a wasted emotion.... i know it is an overused phrase, but it is true, being happy is not going to make your loss less real.... but it will affect you relationships with your loved ones... you can have a great day, enjoy life and have a laugh and still spare a moment to feel a bit sad. Never feel guilty for enjoying life... I think the meaning of life is to LIVE IT, and i feel not only guilty but a failure too... but try keep it in the background most of the time (except when i come here... there are people here in the virtual world who understand and know what feelings are going on)... xx

 

mulgajill - March 26

And the "well meaning remarks".... there should be a book on them... "make you stronger".... who wants to be that strong.... i don't... along with the "maybe it was for the best" (i REALLY hate that one).... just ignore them, it is just people trying to be nice but way off target.

 

Lenore - March 28

Being on this Forum has really helped me in my greiving process. I have come across some really ridiculous comments that people have made (trying to be nice and comforting) and I do realize that, but at the same time can't help but get upset by some of these remarks. My husband who is trying his best to be suppotive has even brought me to hysteria with things he has said . It is very comforting to have this forum to turn to, and all the suppot and understanding I get from each of you. Thanks

 

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