Have Never Been More Scared

8 Replies
Julie - October 21

I had a blighted ovum back in July and was totally devastated. I have four girlfriends who are pregnant and all of a sudden, I was out of the group. I have never felt so alone after that....it's like I was a disease. No one wanted to associate with me after that. Not even a "how are you doing". Anyways, I finally got my period in September. I always have whacky cycles, so I use OPK's. Well, I couldn't tell you when I had a positive...I'm guessing somewhere around CD20. So, that makes me somewhere around 10/11 dpo. I've felt kinda c__ppy the last few days and thought "what the h__l" and did a pregnancy test this morning. Initially, I thought it was negative, but when I looked at it 5 minutes later, there is a very faint line! I know I should be happy....this is what I want, but I'm so scared of another loss. I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter already and want a sibling for her in the worst way. I guess I'll retest over the weekend and if it's still positive, call the OB's office on Monday.

 

Mindy - October 21

Julie- I'm so sorry about your loss. I know it is hard not to worry during your pregnancy but try to keep focus on your little girl to take your mind off this. Your friends do not sound nice if you had no support from them. I went through the same thing with my friends and they made up every excuse they could a month an a half after it happen. I felt so alone and angry when it happened and really could of used their support pregnant or not. My att_tude is still alittle sour towards them but I make sure I'm friendly from a distance. I would like to have another baby but I'm so scared (lost my baby at 12wks to a subchorionic hematoma) and they would be the last people I would tell if I did. God Bless you on your prenancy and I hope everything goes well for you.

 

Michelle - October 21

I am in sort of the same boat as you. I had my 3rd m/c in June and finally found out we were pg. last week. After the other m/c's I was frightened but nothing like this. I'm sick to my stomach with fear. My RE doesn't want to even do anymore hcg levels because I would sob after each result no matter how good. I'm also not getting any younger and this needs to stick! I don't know how I'll make it through the next couple of months. I really empathize with you. Hopefully, we'll both be in a better place after the new year!

 

Julie - October 21

Mindy, believe me, my "friends" will be the absolute LAST people to know! I'm so angry and hurt by them....I'll wait until I know for sure if this is a viable pregnancy or not!

 

crisy - October 21

Hi Julie. Congratulation for your pregnancy. Your story with your friends is horrible. How can people behave like that towards you!!! You have been through a devastating experience and I think that they are insensitive people for behaving the way they did towards you! I know that it must be scarry to think that you might have another loss. Please take good care of yourself and I think that you should avoid being around insensitive people like your friends. I am sending you lots of baby dust and my prayers are with you. Take care.

 

Cabbie - October 21

Wow, Michelle, our stories are so similar. I also had my third miscarriage in June. My first was a miscarriage at 6 wks, then at 5 weeks, then a blighted ovum diagnosed at almost 10 weeks. I too just found out I am pregnant (about 5 week, 3 days or so). I am so scared. I have two beautiful daughters (ages 3 &5) who I had not trouble carrying. I understand this fear so well.

 

MICHELLE - October 21

WELL I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER. KEEP PRAYING AND STICK WITH GOD HE IS PERFECT. IF YOU BELIEVE IN HIM AND ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT YOU SHALL RECEIVE IT. I AM NOT TELLING YOU ,I AM SPEAKING IT ON YOU SO YOU SHALL BE BLESS .PLEASE GIVE THANKS NOW TO YOUR FATHER FOR YOU HAVE NOW BEEN BLESS BY HIM. HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND BE WITH YOU . BYE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DO NOT BE AFARID FOR WHAT SHALL COME BEFORE YOU. THINK GOOD THOUGHTS.

 

Amy - October 22

I am sorry for your lost. I also have a 2 year old. I also have four very close girlfriends. We all have our first within 3 months of each other. One of my friends let's call her Lisa) was the first to get pg and the first to m/c. We all felt so sorry for her. However she concieved again along with the rest of us and now we all have 2 year olds running around. Well wouldn't you know it We ALL got pg around the same time... again! I was in "second place" but I mc in August at 4 months. "Lisa" was next in line a she mc 3 weeks after me. The other two have adorable newborns! After I had my mc I then realized that I did not give "Lisa" the support she really needed for her first mc because I just did not understand how she felt and really did not know what to say. I remember I was so uncomfortable around her while I ws pg after her mc because I did not want her to look at me and hurt. And now I know that my other two friends (with the newborns) don't really know what to say to me either. They never mention the baby I lost but it is not because they are mean but just because they do not know how to handle the situation. Maybe your friends are in the same boat as my friends. They are just at a loss of words and do not know how to handle what happened to you. I too am wanting another baby bad! I hope you have happy and healty pregnancy!

 

meg - October 22

IJulie- am so sorry for your loss. I know that it must be so hard for you, especially after those girls excluded you! Screw them!! I have learned that after I had my m/c in July, I learned who my true friends were. So many people treated me like I was a disease, as well. Many people just do not know what to say and wind up saying something that is totally inappropriate. As for your + HPT-congrats!! I know that you must be so scared, but call your doc Monday morning and get you blood drawn-it will make you feel better to see that everything is okay and will be okay. We are here for you and I hope that everything will turn out fine. Take care and keep us updated.

 

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