Having An All Around Bad Day

3 Replies
Angie - April 5

I went through my natural m/c a week ago Monday and I thought I was fine to go back to work. I have to have the blood tests done weekly to make sure my levels go back to 0. Called today and found out that they are down to 129. I guess thats good, but this news has devistated me. I had no hope that the baby would live on, but for some reason I'm setting here at work in tears and I dont know what to say or do. I just want to be done with it all so I can get started on making another baby. I'm sorry everyone I just needed to vent. I'm glad I have a place like this to come and talk to other women who've experienced the same thing as I have. I feel so alone in this world. Dh just doesnt seem to understand. Its not his fault I suppose, but I just wish he could feel the pain that I have. After having my tubes tied and having two miscarriages I want a baby more now than ever. I just pray that God gives me the strength to deal with this again. I'm not even sure I can have a baby now. They didnt mention any tests to see why I'm having multiple m/cs. Guess I'll have to wait and see. Good luck ladies and god be with you in your times of saddness.

 

Heather - April 5

Angie - I am so sorry. I'm sending you a BIG HUG! I know how you feel. A lot of us know how you feel. I was devastated when I had my m/c a month ago (1st pregnancy) and all I could think about was trying again. After keeping it together at work all day I would drive home and bawl the entire way. I couldn't let everyone at work could see me cry. DH was as devastated as I was but didn't know what it felt like physically as well as the emotional part. For the women it is truly a stronger bond and I think it can hurt just a little more when this happens. How many m/c's have you had? Do you know the cause of the m/c's?? Have they done tests? Keep your chin up!! It will get better. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Sending baby dust your way.

 

Allie - April 5

I am so sorry you are hurting so bad! I had a very hard time when I first went back to work as well, and a week later it can still be difficult. Everyone knew I was pregnant, and it's a large organization, so at least 2-3 people come up daily and ask me "hows the baby?", and I have to explain all over again what has happened. I'm finally to the point where I can say the words without completely losing it, but it's still hard. Just know that we all understand, we've been there, and we all (you included) will get through these rough times. I'll say an extra prayer for you tonight!!

 

Angie - April 5

Thanks girls I really needed to hear it. I'm bawling my eyes out right now cause Im so happy that people understand what I'm going through. For some people I had what was "just a miscarriage", but to me I had a miracle baby inside of me and I feel as if it were my fault. By miracle baby I mean who would have ever thought I'd get pregnant again. Especially with how exact science can be now days. I honestly thought I would never have nor want children again. Now I want it more than anything. Heather- thank you so much for the big hug and I'm sending one right back at you. They have no idea what caused either miscarriage. I've had two and the first one I didnt realize I was pregnant till I was miscarrying. This one I had a BFP on March 13th. On March 29th my birthday of all days I naturally miscarried the baby. My birthday will never be a joyous occasion again. They haven't mentioned doing any tests on me. They still want me to do the weekly blood tests to make sure my levels go back to 0. Allie- Thank you for the kind words and I hope you get the baby you want also. Thank you girls for listening to me ramble. Lots of love to you.

 

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