How Could This Happen

22 Replies
D - November 9

I was 6.5 weeks pregnant, I just went in to my doctor's office yesterday to get different pre-natal pills due to my other ones making me so constipated. He looked at my chart and said oh, youre over 6 weeks now - let's do an ultrasound. Of course I was elated to do it, I was mabee expecting to see the heart beat as well! That did not happen - he kept searching my uterus for the pregnancy, he stopped on something that looked just like a gestational sac (Very light) he suspected that it was the pregnancy but there was not near enough fluid. I asked him if there was any way it could be ok - he said that he did not see anything that made him think that there is a viable pregnancy in my uterus. He took blood and wants me to go give more tomorrow, if the levels raise he is going to check me for an ectopic (Which he checked and did not see anything) If it does not rise, he is going to have to remove the fetal tissue. Has this ever happened to anyone else. He mentioned a belighted ovum but you usually see the sac right? I have not stopped crying since yesterday - also everyone is calling me to tell me how sorry they are (which is making it worse) I hope my Husband and I can have babies some day. I had an abortion when I was very young, I hope it is not the reason for this. I always had a wierd feeling that I would somehow be punished for what I did. Sorry this is so long.

 

holly - November 9

i am so sorry for you. i know how you feel.

 

D - November 9

Thank you holly. Does anyone else have any advice for me. Also when can we try again. Thank you.

 

Kim - November 9

Oh D, I'm so sorry. You are not being punished dear. This is just one of those sad things that happens, unfortunately, way too often. It sounds like you just got unlucky this time. Try not to worry about the future - as long as your doc says things look healthy, you should be able to try again in 1 or 2 cycles I would think. Some people start trying again right away and get pregnant before they even have a period! I had a m/c my first pregnancy in June. Got pregnant again in October. I hope if there is anything viable as a result of that blood test, that things will continue to grow and become more healthy looking. But if it's bad news, I hope this will be quick for you and that you will conceive again soon. Take as much time as you need to cry and be sad, and as much time as you need to start trying again. All my best to you. xxoo

 

Von - November 9

Wow.. i had an abortion when i was young, then got pregnant years later and miscarried.. same thing, tissue didn't form, had an ultrasound and nothing... started bleeing, huge chunks of tissue and miscarried the whole thing.. was almost 11 weeks.. felt the same way, like i was being punished... took a while to get over it, so sorry you're going through the same thing, wouldn't wish it on anyone

 

lucy - November 10

i've had an abortion too and my doctore a__sured me that my miscarraige had nothing to do with it. I didn't think it had - that is really just superst_tion because there is nothing medically to back it up (unless you had complications or severe scarring from your abortion.) don't fret - it's not a pleasant thing to go through but chances are overwhelming you'll go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

 

D - November 10

Thank you all. I had no idea what a common thing miscarriage was. My doctor told me that 1 out of 4 miscarry. My blood work came back and my HCG level was only 181. He confirmed that the pregnancy was lost - I am going in today to do more blood work - he said if the number goes down then my body will probably take care of it, if it stays the same or goes up then they will have to remove it. I hope it happens on it's own. Either way, I just want to get it over with and get on with life. Again thank all of you so much! xoxoxooxo

 

D - November 13

Well I had my miscarriage. It started on Thursday night. I am still light bleeding, is that normal?

 

Lucy - November 13

it would be totally normal to still be bleeding. i think one week is about the norm, which is how long i bled. for some women, it is even longer, or on and off over a few weeks. glad you've made it through the other side...

 

D - November 13

Thank you so much Lucy. I never thought this would happen to us, I guess it will just make us stronger in the end and when we finally do get pregnant again - realize what a blessing life truly is. Thanks again.

 

Kim - November 14

D, So sorry to hear that the bleeding finally kicked in and confirmed your loss. That is just terrible. But I am happy for you that it doesn't seem to be too much bleeding. I bled for two weeks solid, and I was just so relieved when it was finally over. I hope you get lots of rest over the next few weeks. When you become pregnant again, it will feel totally different than the first, but I must say, it is with a much deeper awareness and anticipation. Hang in there. I wish you all the best.

 

scarlet - November 18

D, I know edactly what you are going through. I found out I was pregnant in August and went in for my first doctors appointment and found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant. A few weeks later I went to the doctor to see my baby and hear the heart beet wich was faint but still beautiful. 3 weeks later I woke up to a small squish of fluid and a streak of blood. I went to the hospital and they said that they didn't see the heartbeet, that the baby was very under developed for 12 weeks and that my hormone level was low and that I needed to do another blood test in 2 days to see if my hormone level had doubled. If not they wanted to talk about removing the baby. I was so upset and heart broken. I was feeling responsible and to tell you the truth I didn't really know how I should feel. The baby wasn't gone yet, but it felt like it was. I tried to stay posotive for the two days before my babies fate was to be decided but it didn't work. I woke up on the morning of the blood test to a lot more blood and I did lose the baby. It feels like it was yesterday and it hurts my heart so bad still. It has been 5 weeks since I lost my baby and I feel like it has been too long to for me to still feeling like I do. My hsband tried for a year to get pregnant and we were so happy we called every one we knew imediatly. My mother in law acts like it was just a thing. That I should just get over it and forget about it. She wouldn't let my husband talk to her about it and it hurt him so bad. Also, everyone keeps telling me that it happened for a reason and it is better this way. I know all this but I hate hearing it and it makes me furious every time I do. I am sorry that I have gone on like this but it feels good to get all this out because I have no one to talk to and I don't want to make my husband feel bad. I just want to hit his mother though. Thanks for listening, kind of.

 

Hope - November 18

I'm so sorry D i also now how you feel i have lost out twice and its very hard but keep going try again as soon as you feel your ready and good luck :)

 

Jen - November 18

D, I'm very sorry for your family. I was in your shoes late Sept. I don't understand it either. I have bought some really interesting books from Amazon.com that I'm reading. It helps to understand more. I felt the same way that you did deep down inside, that we were healthy and what could go wrong? Now I know just how lucky those people are that have actually made it through the 9 months. I feel like this will make us stronger and better parents in the long run. Less likely to take our children for granted.

 

D - November 19

Thank you all so much. I am so sorry for your losses too. Scarlet, hang in there I know it's hard. I keep hearing "Well, it's better to lose it now then have a still born" or "I'ts better off because it would have had something wrong with it". I don't think people really realize how attached you get to the BABY (not IT). Just knowing it was growing inside of me was a beautiful feeling. I too felt like I had done something wrong. I see people that abandon their babies in dumpsters and people who do drugs while they are pregnant and I get SO mad and wonder why they are blessed with these babies and my husband and I are not. I guess I should not think like that but I do. I hope that every one of you are blessed with the beautiful babies that you deserve!!! We all need to keep our heads up and keep on trying. After all the odds are in our favor. Lots of love to all of you!!

 

Jen - November 21

Well the holidays are here and this one will probably be a little easier than Christmas. I'mgoing to try to think about the things in my life that we do have to be thankful for instead of what we don't have. Some days thats easier than others. Happy Holidays to you all and lots of love and understanding.

 

D - November 21

Happy Hollidays to all of you!!! We do have alot to be Thankful for! Hopefully soon we will all have more to be Thankful for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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