How Do You Get Over It

6 Replies
Still_Crying - February 26

Hey everyone, I'm 23 yrs old and found out on December 2nd I was 12 wks pregnant with twins. My boyfriend and I were so happy and very nervous. My doctor decided to send me for an ultrasound and checked the heart beats on the lil' ones..Everything was ok from what they could tell. On the 4th I started getting bad cramps to the point I couldn't stand up, and was bleeding heavy. We went into the hospital and the dr there said that he didn't think anything was wrong. I was so scared I called my gyno and he checked everything out the next day, he informed me that due to an allergic reaction I was going through a miscarriage but then sent me home. The night and into the next day I was in alot of pain and still hadn't lost the babies. The night of the 5th I started to get horrible cramps and sharp pains..The bleeding got worse and I started discharging blood clots (sorry to be graphic). At around 9pm I lost the babies. My boyfriend carried me into the hospital due to blood loss I couldnt really move, think or see straight. They sent me home saying I had a complete miscarriage. We cried for a long time..He seems to be ok now but I can't stop thinking I did something wrong that I should have been able to do something to stop it. I still cry almost every night over it. We've gone to support groups, spoke to doctors, nothing seems to help with the pain. We're closer now than ever before but we still cry about it and it hovers over us like a cloud. Is there anyway to make the pain go away or at least stop crying about it?? Is it safe to try again ??

 

cubbie - February 26

Hi, firstly i'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. How do you get over it - you don't in my opinion, but you do get past the initial heart wrenching pain and learn to live with what you lost. I had my first mc at 21 weeks over 2 years ago and have never stopped crying or missing my little angel, I was lucky that i already had a 10 month old baby girl, and through her I had purpose and wasn't able to just climb into bed and never get out again. After that mc I was told to wait 2 cycles before trying again, but it took 3 months to get a period so it ended up being 6 months before I was pregnant again. 15 months after my mc I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (who is now 1) and only on the day of the birth was I able to let go of all the pain, but let it be said that after her birth i cried for hours both from relief and happiness but also that i never got to hold my angel baby that way. I'm now suffering my 2nd mc - no hb at 15 weeks, and believe me I'm crying for both angels - but i do find comfort from knowing that my first angel is no longer alone in heaven and has someone to give and get love. Your twins are the same way, they are together holding hands and not alone, they're looking out for each other. BTW this time i was told to wait just one period before trying - but I would check that with your obgyn. What was the allergic reaction to? Is it something that could affect future pregnancies? Be strong - and baby dust to us both xxx

 

beckyttc#3 - February 26

I agree... you never get over it completely. But I can honestly say that being pregnant again, and having a healthy baby was what helped me to get over the worst of it. Your next pregnancy may come with more anxiety, as you have a heightened awareness of what can go wrong, but it does subside. Can they find out more about your allergic reaction?

 

Still_Crying - February 26

Thanks :) They have no idea what caused the reaction; closest thing they are guessing is a prescription they gave to me that I was unknownly taking while being pregnant and they didn't know I would react to it..

 

Still_Crying - February 26

I'm really sorry to hear about your 2 mc Cubbie. Best wishes. I suppose you're right , I just wish I could stop crying. Guess it will pa__s.

 

Still_Crying - February 27

Truth is I'm fine..I can go to work, shopping, whatever the day brings...But as soon as someone starts talking to me about pregnancy or miscarriage or thier new baby...I break down crying. I guess getting over it is the wrong words to use.

 

little_debbie99 - February 27

I am so sorry for the loss of your twins, Sill Crying. I too, just wanted to say that the heartache, at least for me, is always there. Yes we can go on to do our daily things, but when a pregnant lady walks by, be ready to go on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Hearing babies cry, sets me off. I have lost three babies due to miscarriage. My first in 2005, then in Sept 07 and then my last Dec. 2007. My feelings of loss will always be there, but hopefully time will help heal our broken hearts. I pray for that. I know I will never forget them...but they are "home" waiting for me to join them some day. We will be with them someday in the future. Until then, I will try try try again for a sweet baby. God Bless, -Debra-

 

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