I M In Denial

10 Replies
CaliTrish - December 21

Does a drop in hcg ever not mean a miscarriage? I should be 7w4d pregnant. On Tuesday, the doc saw an empty sac. My hcg level was 38,000. Two days later it was 36,000. I'm pretty sure I know the answer to my question - with levels this high when they should be doubling, it doesn't look good. Guess I'm just looking for an exception out there. With Christmas just around the corner, I'm just not ready to deal with the next step: 1) let it pass naturally, 2) medication to expel it, or 3) a D&C. My hospital won't do a general for the D&C, so I'd be awake for the whole procedure. Right now, it doesn't feel real, and I want it to stay that way. Any thoughts which option would be best?

 

julie2007 - December 21

hi trish - i am sorry for what you are going thru. i wish i had more positive words for you --- as for the u/s yes you should be able to see something by now. i too am in cali (bay area) - and went thru 2 m/c's this year, both "missed" miscarriages - where you don't have cramps or bleeding - (both my babies had heartbeats then they went away) and i was offered those same 3 choices. i went with a d&c the 1st time for 3 reasons - i didn't want to let it linger and wait till nature took it's course - they told me it could take 2 to 3 weeks for it to start. and i got to have the fetal tissue tested for any problems. and 2. the thought of starting a m/c medically (taking the pills) - and doing it at home on my own and having to see it in my bathroom - was more than i could handle. 3. they told me that IF it didn't all pa__s naturally i'd have to have a D&C anyhow - so i didn't want to take that risk. i had never had surgery before - and i was petrified and didn't want to be "awake" either. but they used 2 or 3 medications in an IV for me - and i remember nothing - and it was as physically painless as could be (my heart still hurts for those babies~ i don't know if that ever goes away) -- they used VERSED a mind erasing sort of drug and i remember NOTHING other than them putting in my IV. they also used fentenyl (SP?) and an antibiotic so i didn't get an infection (just as a precaution) - you can ask for that. i wish someone had told me not to be scared when i had my 1st one because i was scared to bits!!! and although physically you get over it quickly - the emotional part was much harder for me to deal with. ------ OH*** get a heating pad - it helps with any cramping afterwards. and ask for motrin and or vicidin (my doc's gave me all of that the 1st time around or i wouldn't have known to ask and they helped a LOT!) good luck to you -- and stay strong. as mentioned i had 2 m/c's in 2007 - and i am now 3 months pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy of the year - i am thinking this one may stick - and pray everyday that it does. it'll happen for you!!! i am so very sorry.

 

jstaley1228 - December 21

Your case sounds very similar to mine. I saw an empty sac at 8 weeks however my levels were still very high. They took blood two days apart and noted a drop in my levels...indicating an impending misscarriage. I chose to have a D&C rather than wait for it to occur naturally. I was also awake for my D&C and I will not lie to you, that was incredibly uncomfortable, physically and emotionally. I don't think it's any better when it happens naturally either. In the end, it will totally be up to you, what you are comfortable with. I'm so sorry, Trish. There is never an easy time for this to happen but the holidays can be very hard. I will keep you in my prayers and if you have any more questions or comments I will keep an eye out for ya.

 

CaliTrish - December 21

Julie - thanks for responding so quickly. I'm in the south bay. I'm so sorry to hear about your earlier miscarriages, but I'm very happy to hear you're 3 months along. Congratulations. My prayers go out to you that this one does indeed stick. This was a missed MC for me, too. We went in Tuesday for my 1st prenatal visit. It never dawned on us that something could be wrong. I think never seeing an embryo or heartbeat helps make it seem unreal to me. Going to the hospital would make it all too real. They think the embryo has dissolved, so I would only be pa__sing the sac. Wonder if I can convince myself that it's only a blood clot. However, I'd have to go in for a follow-up to make sure it all pa__sed and if not end up with a D&C anyway. Course, waiting every day for it to happen wouldn't be fun either. I just want to get through the holiday. I'll probably do a D&C Wednesday if it doesn't happen naturally before then. I suppose I should call my husband now.

 

CaliTrish - December 21

jstaley - thanks for your comments, concern, and prayers. How soon did you have the D&C after you got your hcg results? Did you get a local anesthetic or an IV?

 

jstaley1228 - December 21

Hang in there, Trish. I'm sorry you ever had to make a decision like this one. Cling to your dear hubby and you'll get through,

 

julie2007 - December 21

well trish we're practically neighbors! i hope whatever you decide it's as physically painless as possible. the emotional part takes time. but the meds are great for the physical side of things. my hcg's stayed up for about a month or so after the d&c and both times i got my AF back in less than 30 days but they told me 4-6 wks is normal. i did bleed after the d&c (pretty lightly) for about a week or so +/- but again - ask for the meds (especially the versed) it will make you feel no pain and even if you did - you don't remember it. i was in and out of the hospital in less than 4 hours. --- idon't mean to make it sound like a breeze - because it was so sad - but if someone could have taken the fear about all the pain away - i'd have done much better the 1st time around. --------- jstaley - i don't know why you had so much discomfort - did your doc tell you to expect that? sorry for your loss as well.

 

alicef - December 23

Hello CaliTrish, I am very saddened to hear your story. It is very similar to mine at the exact time. I had an ultrasound on Thursday ( 10 weeks) and there was an empty sac. I saw on OB/GYN on Friday night who was willing to do a D&C yesterday. I am home this morning with cramping a light bleeding. I agree with the other girls, the physical part of this isn't bad. It is the emotional part that is so hard to deal with. Such a hard time of year for this to happen...not that it isn't hard all the time, but trying to put on a brave face throughout the holidays will be difficult. I am sorry for your loss, try to stay strong...

 

CaliTrish - December 24

alice - so sorry for your loss. I still can't decide whether to let things pa__s naturally or get the D&C. It still doesn't feel real - no cramping, no bleeding. How did you decide so quickly?

 

alicef - December 24

CaliTrish, I was having a hard time thinking that I would just have to wait for things to start naturally. Not knowing when to expect it and with traveling a lot through the holidays I wanted to have a little bit of control. I couldn't bear the thought of the cramping and heavy bleeding either. To go through that and end up having a D&C in the long run? Emotionally, I felt it was the right choice for me. I hope you are O.K. and wish you much strength to get through this. Please let us know how you are doing...

 

CaliTrish - December 25

We've decided to let nature take its course. I'm still not exhibiting any symptoms - no cramping, no spotting, not bleeding. We fly out of town this Saturday for a week. The doc would have let me take another blood test before scheduling a D&C this week, but I just don't want to deal with the procedure and the hospital during the holidays. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with it while we're away. If it hasn't happened naturally by the time we get back, I'll go in for the D&C...after they check things out again. I trust that my docs know best, but I will make them verify before doing an irreversible procedure. I've pretty much accepted the loss. There is a constant sadness, but I take joy in my 14-month old son and the knowledge that we will try again when this is all over. Wishing everyone peace and happiness through the holidays.

 

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