I M Sorry For All Of You

13 Replies
Sarah - February 21

My husband and I had only been trying for a few months and I fell pregnant. I never knew it was as common as it is to miscarry. I haven't and I'm now 12 weeks. I have read some of the stories on here and my heart breaks for you all. I never realised how lucky I am. When reading some of the stories I cried, it doesn't seem fair to put some people through the torment for years. I kind of feel guilty in a way that I haven't had any complications. I just thought I would let you all know that letting it out and telling your story has opened my eyes and let me see that if I needed someone to talk to there is someone who I don't have to see face to face. Thank you for sharing your stories and I hope all of you get the luck you need xx

 

Sue - February 21

Hi, I'm sure that you mean well but this really just rubs salt in wounds. We don't need pity and are surrounded by daily reminders of our loss and reading your story was very difficult as I would now be 12 weeks. You shouldn't feel guilty and pity isn't a way to purge this.

 

petra - February 21

I don't feel that way, you're not rubbing salt into the wound. People have different ways of dealing with their loss. I just m/c in my third pregnancy after two normal pregnancies which resultated in my two beautifull sons. There is a lot of tragedy in life... If you think about all the terrible things that could happen you can't smile anymore... Just enjoy your pregnancy!

 

Sue - February 21

You are right and I apologise, I should take encouragement rather than wallow in my own troubles.

 

S- - February 21

I think it's very nice that you had an eye opener. I didn't realize how common it was until I had one. I have also heard stories of people not knowing what to say when friends have a problem with conceiving and don't realize how terrible it is for them until they have some type of preoblem themselves. So, as I said before i am glad that you relized it and don't have a conceiving preoblem or miscarriage!

 

Amy - February 21

I agree S-, I never realized how common a m/c was either. I recently m/c on Jan 26th (first pregnancy), so this is all new to me. These forums have helped me tremendously when I have no one here who has gone thru the same thing as me. My twin had a m/c in July (coincidence? maybe), but she had a D&C with complications while I didn't. So she can't help me as much as I feel she can. I guess I am blessed that I didn't have to go thru the pain she did (she had an abnormal m/c) but it still seems so surreal. I am ready to ttc again and I hope I'm not a nervous wreck if I become pg again. Baby dust to you all <hugs>

 

Jo - February 21

Thank you Sarah, its good to see that you came to realize how special your uncomplicated pregnancy is. unlike you, i failed to realize that until my first miscarriage, which came after 2 uneventful pregnancies. after that first miscarriage i got preg again and had a little boy. just 3 weeks ago i miscarried again for the second time but i am not giving up. thanks for showing compa__sion.

 

S- - February 21

Amy, I had a d&e on the 28th. What complications did your sister have? I am asking b/c recently I have begun to have brown spotting off and on and I'm not sure what it means(it's like for a 1/2 hr. every 3rd day)...

 

S- - February 21

Amy, forgot to mention it was our first also!

 

Sarah - February 21

I didn't mean to rub salt in your wounds I think that when somebody shows compa__sion and support it should only be taken in a good way. Im sorry if I hurt you more it wasn't what I intended

 

Kara - February 22

Sarah - Thanks for your support. We are all in different stages of grief and all have a varied reactions to well-wishers comments. Thank you for caring. I lost my baby at 15 weeks on 2/9/05. While I was pregnant I cursed every morning as I dealt with unmerciful morning sickness, whined about my sore b___st, and gagged down bran muffins to deal with constipation. I would give anything to have those feeling back in place of my mind-numbing sorrow. So I say to you, love your baby. Love your pregnancy and all that comes with it. Cherish every moment because that moment, and past memories, is all any of us have.

 

Amy - February 22

I wasn't with her thru the whole thing (we live far apart from each other). I'm trying to keep this story short, but basically the day I flew in, she mentioned she was bleeding, but thought nothing of it. I told her bleeding wasn't good so we took her to the ER to find out what was going on. Her levels were dropping... so they diagnosed her with a 'threatened abortion'. So, a few days later, when it almost seemed she was bleeding to death, we took her back in and they had to do a D&C (diagnosis: abnormal m/c). She was in terrible pain and by the time she had the D&C I had flown back home. So I don't know details after that, but I know she bled for almost 2 months and had to keep going back to the dr. She was I believe 14 weeks. I fortunately pa__sed everything like it was a heavy period so I am thankful I didn't have to go thru all of that.

 

Amy - February 22

I didn't realize there was another 'Amy' being used so I'll change my name to "AmyF"

 

Andrea - February 22

I am glad this was an eye opener for you Sarah. To many women are unaware of the risk of miscarriage. I know I was. I had a miscarriage at seven weeks one year ago after two normal pregnancies. I am pregnant now-5 weeks. Although I am very excited I just can't seem to shake the fear of having another miscarriage. Good luck to you Sarah. I hope your pregnancy is uneventful :o)

 

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