I Need A Friend

10 Replies
monluc11 - October 22

I just found out this morning that I miscarried, I was only about 6 weeks along, but just Monday was told everything looked OK after some spotting. I felt it that it wasn't but had hope since they ran tests, did an ultrasound, etc. I got the call at work this morning saying my count was only 9 indicating that i had a miscarriage. I am so sad i can not even focus on anything. i just feel numb and empty. I have talked to my mom and husband but i just feel like no matter what they truly don't feel the same loss as i do and i just feel so alone. i have looked online for a support group and hope this may help, just looking for advice, i am scared to even think of trying again, i truly can't face this again if it were to happen. any advice, words, anything i would so appreciate. i am RH negative and am scared that this is why...they said no but online can be a scarey place to try and get information.

 

Tory1980 - October 22

I am sorry honey for you to have lost your little one. I get your meaning on feeling no one quite 'gets' your loss. I am also rh- (A) and have four children and I have also had 2 miscarriages. One at 6weeks and another at 14w4d in between my 2nd and 3rd pregnancy and my 3rd and 4th pregnancy. The thought of trying again is enough to scare the life out of some women let alone actually actively trying. I was absolutly petrified of falling pregnant again more so after my second m/c that my first. I found out I was pregnant only a few days before I started bleeding with the abby I lost at 6 weeks but after my 2nd it nearlly killed me. I was out of the 'danger zone' as such so it was a HUGE shock to be told on teh scan the baby was dead. Your safety net has been taken from you and unfortunately no one can make that better for you. This is something you need to come to terms with in your own head and heart. There is always the possibility of you losing another baby but they are slim. No one can give 100% guarantees when it comes to pregnancies and babies and it would be wrong for me to promise you it will never happen again. I only hope it won't. When you are ready to try again then go for it if you are certian you want to go ahead. Don't feel rushed into falling pregnant or pressurised into trying again. You need to be ready yourself before thinking about another baby. Take your time, grieve for what you have lost and know you aren't alone in the world. Take care honey.

 

monluc11 - October 22

thank you for that, it is definately rea__suring to hear that even though the loss is tremendous there is a big chance that we will go on and someday have a little one. I just had to go and get the shot from the Dr. and they explained more to me, your words truly have helped ease just a little of my pain and anxiety. I truly appreciate your time and kindness.

 

stacyr - October 22

I am so sorry for your loss...I had a missed m/c in august - I was 11 1/2 weeks when I found out...They said the baby had died around 9-10 weeks...If you have any questions or need to talk - i'm here girl....

 

Tory1980 - October 23

Monluc11, you are more than welcome honey. if speanding a little time answering you has helped then I am glad. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. I am sure there is someone here who will know the answers. Take care.

 

itwouldbeablessing - November 6

Im sorry to hear about what happened. I went through the EXACT same thing. i was 6 weeks along and started spotting. They did a blood test and an internal sonogram. I heard and saw the heartbeat. The next day i had really bad bleeding and clotting. The Dr at the ER did an exam and told me everything was fine. I had just found out i lost my baby today. When i went to the ER today she checked to see if my cervix was closed or open. She told me it was still closed. This gave me so much hope. just as i was leaving she came in my room and told me she got the blood test results back. My hormone levels went from the 3000s to the 100s. I took this very, very hard. You just have to think. A miscarrige is your bodys way of telling you something was wrong/not good. Its not your fault. The way Im trying to think is telling myself is that if my body didnt miscarry the fetus and i went throught my pregnancy i could of had a stillbirth and that would of been a lot more painful to go through. I hope ive helped at least a little bit. If you do try again i wish you the best of luck.

 

smmom2 - November 7

MON...I am truly sorry for your loss. I was 12 1/2 weeks along when I lost my baby. She died at 12 weeks. It was so hard...and totally unexpected as this was my 3rd child and like Tory said.,...I thought I was past the danger zone. If you and your dh want to try again...most dr's will tell you to wait 1-2 cycles to ensure your uterus lining is thick enough again to sustain a pg. This is something you will never forget, ( the pain lessens with time) but it takes the innocence out of pregnancy. ( this goes for you as well itwouldbeablessing.) you have to let yourself grieve. And when it comes time again, you will be scared every single day until you are holding your baby in your arms. You hhave to pray that God gives you a blessing in the form of a healthy baby. Again...i am sorry for your loss.

 

babyblue2 - November 7

I am sorry for your loss. I recently went through the same thing and it was devastating. I am also RH- but was told as long as I got my rhogam everything would be fine. My hubby and I are hoping to get preg real soon... but I agree with smmom... the innocence is gone. I know the next time that test comes back + I will worry far more than I have ever done in the past. Good luck and stay positive.

 

smmom2 - November 7

I forgot to mention...I have the RH factor....however it has nothing to do with early pg. Your body can fight off the baby as if it were something invading your body....but this doesnt usually happen until way farther along...hince the reason they give you a shot of rhogam. More then likely something was wrong ( I hate saying that, but for lack of better words) with the baby, genetically or chromosomally. Do not beat yourself up thinking it was you or your body.....Most of the time it is the baby. Think of you losing this baby...as God's way of saving it from a worse fate had it been born into this world. Also...I read somewhere that some cultures belive that when a woman loses a baby....that that baby's soul becomes the next baby you birth...so in a sense that baby is still with you !!!

 

KMoore - November 14

I totally understand where you are right now...Just this past monday i was told my pregnancy was ectopic. They shot me full of Methotrexate to terminate my pregnancy so it would not do harm to me or my future fertility.....I was 6 and a half weeks pregnant and had been trying for 2 years to concieve. I thought all my dreams had finally come true just to have them ripped away from me again......I do understand your loss although at this time in my life i feel really incapable of dealing with this...No one should have to go through such pain..Someone said to me- but you were only 6 1/2 weeks.....I just wanted to hurt them so badly....That baby was mine and i loved it from the moment i knew it was there....The loss i feel doesn't compare to anything i have ever experienced in my life and i don't know how long it'll take for me to bounce back...Today is just BLAH! Like everyday since my Methotrexate shot.....This probably doesn't uplift you very much and i'm sorry for that but i'm sure you are probably feeling about the same as i am anyhow.....Maybe soon we'll start to feel ok with life again!

 

smmom2 - November 14

KMORE>...I am sorry for your loss...I know how hard it is...I lost my baby at 12 1/2 weeks. It does NOT matter how far along you are...once you lose a baby...it is hard to look at pregnancy the same every again...and it is very hard for people who have never been through it to understand how we feel. You need to let yourself grieve about this. Take time to heal. You should be able to ttc again after you have had atleast 1-2 NORMAl af's. I pray it happens fast for you this time around. I have heard that once you get pg...it is easier for you to concieve in the future. I am sorry you lost your baby.

 

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