I Need Some Support

2 Replies
BIG RED - June 21

I am a 26 year old single parent of 2 girls. My girls have different dads neither one of them was there for the pregnancy, birth or anyting to follow. They do not see there kids as of this date either. I am now engaged to a man with 1 daughter. We have been together 2 years and just moved very slowly for the children. Our girls are 5, 5 & 6. We just lost a baby in April. And we also had an elected abortion in January 05 due to complications that were going to occure with baby. He was alomost releved when I lost the baby he was not supportive at all. None of my family understood either. My fiance has gone and had a vesectomy since the loss because he did not want any more kids. I just can't get over the loss. My head has just been a mess since April and the vesectomy has messed me up even worse. How do you get over loosing a baby so sudden and unexpected? How do you move on with life knowing that you may not ever have anymore kids again? To make things even worse still I am still bleeding from the miscarriage. So every day I am reminded. I would greatly appreciate someone to chat with that understands how I feel. Any advice on how you move on with life after the loss of a baby is also very much appreciated.

 

chely - June 21

That's rough, my heart goes out to you. I lost a baby in February. It's especially hard because people who don't understand don't know what to say and usually make it worse. You'll never forget, when ever your children make a milestone, you'll remember that you'll never see that child go through their's etc..., but in time it will get easier. My mom told me that at least there will be someone in heaven waiting for you. That's the best you can think, that they are in a good place watching over you and waiting. Just don't push yourself to become better, give yourself time and grieve. Maybe write down your thoughts in a journal. I don't know what to say about your fiance, but maybe you should try talking to him about your feelings. Having a child with him may not be what you need, but tell him that knowing you will never have another is causing you pain and should be a mutal decision. Good luck.

 

BIG RED - June 22

Hi Chely thank you very much for you respone I really appreciate it. That is a very nice thingk your mother said. That is one of the hardest things knowing I will not get to see any of those milestones. Especially seeing my baby smile and giving my hugs and kisses. I do have a journal that I started the day we left the Dr.'s office. It makes me feel better to write in it but it is nice to have someone to talk with. Thank you very much.

 

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