Im Lost Need Some Advise

3 Replies
yadi1 - October 9

h__lo what can I do? my husband and I have been trough a lot, we have had 4m/c no kids yet, we have been together for 8yrs and married 6 yrs, i am 25 and he is 28 we are both young, I have diabetes type 2 controled and we is healthy too, I have been taking prenatal vitamins to be in the safe side since june, our loses have hurt us much and I have gotten very positive even when the drs say we are fertile no abnormalities in both of our genetics... they recommend trying again, at this poin my husband has determine that we are never going to have kids, I tell him that there is no reason to think like that..at this point I dont know what to do, I want to give it a try and see what happens... is a chance we can, I get pg easily dont need to try.. but I have been teling him to stop pulling out and he gets very stressed that last for a week or couple days after we have s_x... he still pulls out and he was just telling me last night that he feels that something is going to go wrong! I tell him if we dont try we are never going to know what is going to happen, we are financially stable, he has his business going and I work too, but im tired of been by my self, ,he is a truck driver so I see him on the weekends and maybe twice during the week, mostly on the nights, so I dont know what to do, I feel he is just thinking for himself instead of thinking what I desire too, my last m/c was on 07/06 more than a yr I m/c around 5-8 weeks, dr say its been bad luck and stress but my husband feels that after 4 times we are never going to have kids.... I about to give up.... I have been very patient... DOnt know what else to do, I told him this morning that Ias of today and always that part of me wanting kids is forgotten and what god gives us we have to take. Hope someone can give me advise or just to move on....

 

Tory1980 - October 10

I would imagine your husband is worried over another miscarriage and I can't realy blame him. After four losses it is hard for you both and with nothnig coming back as a problem it makes it even harder. As for him pulling out, it isn't foolproof and you willl eventually get pregnant whether he stays in or not. It could be because he simply doesn't want to lose another baby but maybe he feels that he is to blame for putting you through the pain of the miscarriages and is worried about you too. That worry will not go away, even when you manage to get to full term you will still be worrying every day. You haven't mentioned though if there is a hormonal issue, ie progesterone being too low etc that could be causing the miscarriage. Unfortunately, I am not sure you can 'move on' from deciding to never have children since it is such a big part of what you want in life. I would say that you need to tell him how strongly you want kids as eventually it may tear you apart if he is adamant that he doesn't.

 

yadi1 - October 10

Thanks Tory, and yes we have covered the hormone issue and my hcg levels, my drs say they can give me progesterone but he says I really dont need it.... but it can help some.... and yes I know deep down I cant never stop trying to see what happens... I know he is worry about me but how can I tell him everytime I want to talk about it he tells me I dont want to talk about it... and I get upset in hearing him say we cant do it! I have told him I want to know what is going to happen with my life if we are able to, and that is what I want in life... he use to put exuses like been financial stability and insurance benefits, I even got a life insurance with him, and what else can he want from me, I dont drink or smoke, he has put all these excuses to wait so we can try and the yr is here.. I tell him dont be afraid im going to be ok and we are going to do this.. before I did not have the confidense in my self because after my last m/c I did not about our test we did, we had testing of chromosones untils this biggining year and before I use to think it was all me or him and now knowing that we are both ok and healthy gives me more stregth to keep trying! but he does not see that, he mention months back about the baby having diabetes I told him as longest I am undercontroled on my sugars everything will be fine or so thats what I have been told!! SO I dont know how to start to tell him with out him getting so upset, I feel that his mother has a lot to do with it, she has told me that after 3 times im not able to have any kids, we are hispanic and people in the old days did not see a dr, well hopefully he see diferently...

 

samehere - October 13

Have you had your blood tested for antibodies? I told me niece to ask her Doctor to test her after her 3rd m/c. She was positive for one of the antibodies (can't remember which one) and the treatment is as simple as a baby aspirin a day during pregnancy to make the blood not clot which was the problem. She now has a 5 year old boy and that pregnancy was problem free. Good luck!

 

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