Lost My Baby To Sids

23 Replies
Jessica Lynn - August 17

Hi my name is jessica , i'm 19 i had my little boy ayden on july 25th 2005 on, aug 5th i brestfed him at 8am.. his father burped him... and let him fall asleep on his chest in our bed, so the 3 of us.. feel asleep my husban had to get up for work at.. 8 45 and when we woke up ayden wasnt breathing. i started cpr and my husban called 911. we got a little hreat beat. when we got to the hospital the dr told us there was no hope.. they had him on life suport.. and they said he was stable.. we asked to keep him on it.. untill my father got home he was in mexico visiting family. .. on saturday there was no change.. then on sunday.. ayden was tryign to breath on his own.. and on monday he was breathing all on his own.. but he still had the life suport for when he got tired.. kinda hard to explan.. but anyways then on tuesday.. the 9th they decided to take the life suport totaly away from him. and well he went quickly.. i got to hold him in my arms that one last time.. my father was able to get there intime to say good bye. my little guy was such a fighter.. he held on as long as he could.. anyways.. i kno this sounds REALLY bad.. but i still want to have another baby.. i dont want me getting pregnat to look like i'm replacing my first baby. because.. there is not replacing him the 15 days i had with him were the best 15 days of my life.. but i want to be a mother.. anyways does any one have any advice? is it WAY tooo soon to start thinking about still trying to have another baby? and i'm sooo scared that wht if it happens again? and how soon after u have had a baby can u get pregnet again?

 

Venus - August 17

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I cant say that I feel what you are going through, but I do sympathize with you. I just had a miscarriage on july 9 and I was 9 weeks. Last year I had a miscarriage and I was five months, that was really hard for me. I am a healthy 24 year old and not sure why it is happening. So I sort of understand how you feel. You are not wrong for wanting to be a mother again. As long as you know you gave your baby that best 15 days you could that;s all the matters. He is resting with the angels now, don't worry about him, he could never be replaced. You are supposed to wait at least three months to get pregnant again after giving birth to allow your body to heal. So go on and try again and try not to think negatively. Remember, God will never put more on you than you can bare. Good luck!

 

Tara - August 17

Jessica Lynn, I am so sorry you lost your sweet little one.Remember the wonderful moments you had with him. You will never replace him and it is not selfish to want another. I had a friend whose baby died 2 weeks after being born and she went on to have another right after and it brought some happiness back into her life. Some women need time to grieve and others feel that they can jump into another pregnancy and that is fine too. I lost my baby at 12 weeks pregnant and it was hard I cried and cried and allowed myself to grieve that was June2005 and in July after 1 period I got pregnant again and it gives me some sense of hope.I will never forget the baby I lost, but now I feel its time I can move on and enjoy maybe another baby. I am very blessed to have two other children a girl 4yrs and a boy 2 years . You and your husband need to take care of each other right now and allow yourselfs to grieve.I would talk to your doctor as to when its safe to concieve after a birth. I had a cesarean with my son and was told to wait 6 months to a year to allow scar to heal but I know women who got pregnant a few months after having v____al births.Your in my prayers!

 

Jessica Lynn - August 18

well here are pictures of my little guy http://aydens-site.piczo.com/ thank u for our imput. very sorry to both u gurls as i can understand and that lossing a child to miscarriage can be very hard as well, my heart goes out to you both.

 

Tara - August 18

Jessica Lynn, your little boy was so beautiful! I am so sorry you had to go through that. I watched a friend go through it and I know it was so difficult for her. My heart goes out to you and your family and I pray each day will get better for you. Ayden felt love and had two wonderful parents for those 15 days and now he is an angel watching over your family. Your in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Amy - August 18

Jessica Lynn Your little guys was so cute i don't know what to say other thatn i'm so sorry for your loss i had a m/c and thought that was bad but nothing like what you are going throw but i got pg 3wks later and after i had my 2nd i got pg with my 3rd 6wks later so just do what feels right to you if that means to try right away than do good luck and my thoughts are with you!

 

Alison - August 19

Jessica Lynn I am so sorry - you poor sweetheart to lose your baby like that my heart goes out to you. I have suffered 3 miscarriages, but I cannot imagine what you have been through losing your little boy when he had been born so healthy and well. I wish with all my heart I could take your pain away. I don't think it sounds bad that you desire another baby at all-you long to be a mother (I know that feeling too well!) I would imagine after a birth you are very fertile but I could be wrong. I think the important thing is whether you are emotionally ready to try again. I don't know what time period doctors recommend after losing a baby after a full term delivery and birth, but the other ladies are saying 3 months which sounds about right to me. You have much to grieve for-let yourself grieve and mourn your little boy. For the short time he was here he was the centre of your world and adored and that is special. I wish you continuing healing and the strength you need and pray you will conceive and have a healthy baby soon. I had a look at your website-he was a beautiful little boy. He will always live on in your heart xxx

 

Jessica Lynn - August 19

Thank you, all of you for your comments. I'm sort of at a loss for words lately, but again thank you for your posts and comments

 

Jessica - August 20

Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. Your son was absolutely beautiful. I cannot imagine the pain you feel. Only you will know how much time you need and when it will be right again. He will always be with you in your heart and watching you from above. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

gab - August 25

jessica-- i am so sorry. i don't know what to say but that i hope you can find the strength to go on and have another child when you feel it is right. don't let anyone else affect your decision. if you long to be a mother, like so many of us here do, then you should try again and don't worry about what other people think. after all, they don't understand what you are going through right now. after losing mine at 9 wks. i know that it's not the same, but all i can do is sympathize. be grateful for the precious time you had with him to tell him you love him, i'm sure he knows it. i wish you strength, health and happiness. again, so sorry. i truly wish i could take your pain away.

 

teigan - August 26

this is the saddest thing i have ever read, my heart goes out to you it really does, as soon as you think you are both ready to try again then do so, but ask your doctor, as he will know when your body is ready, good luck, and again im so so sorry for you both xxx all my love xxx

 

Jessica Lynn - August 28

Me and my husband were talking today.. and.. he said he's not sure if he wants to try again now.. after finding out more info on sids.. we were told that.. the risk is higher for a baby if it had a brogther or a sister die of sids, i long so bad to be a mother, and i LOVE my son, and my husband is worry that we will lose another baby to sids, and also say he feels liek we would be replaceing our first son. i am also very worried that it could happen again. but thats something so hard to say wht will happen.. you just dont know. it will be along time i kno before we decide wht to do.. anyways thanks for listening girls.. :)

 

Alison - August 29

Jessica Lynn I am just so sorry for everything you are going through. It must be so frightening the thought if this happening again-I can appreciate your husband's fear of this.I know is is not at all the same, but I am afraid of miscarrying again after having had 3 losses. But like you I long to be a mother and can't give up on having a child of my own. Of course you love your son I'm sure no one could ever be in any doubt of that. I don't feel having another baby when you feel ready to try would be "replacing" him. I only recently found out a friend of mine's mother lost a baby not long after birth before she had my friend. If she had not gone on to try again my friend would not be here! In fact she also has a sister so her mother had 2 healthy babies after losing her first. I feel it will take time for you and your husband to feel ready to try for another baby, and I pray for continuing healing and strength over these coming weeks and months. I don't think desiring another child means you love your son any less-you have alot of love to give a child of your own enough for more than one baby-enough love for your little boy and other children too. I wish so much I could take your pain away I really do. All I can do is pray for you and your husband. Take care xxx

 

mandy - August 29

hi jessica, my god im so sad to read this thred. your baby boy was so wonderfull. i am lost for words but i just wanted to say good luck for the future what ever you diside to do. xxxx

 

Jessica Lynn - September 2

umm..i think i may be pregnet already.. me and my hubby had s_x on the 25th, and i think it was the 26th. i'm having a little bit of pink spotting.. ( although i don't know if thats normal after having a baby) and i tryed to drink a beer last night... and just the smell of it was making me sick ( JUST SO EVERY ONE KNOWS... i dont drink well i'm preg, but with my first preg right away before i knew beer would just stink.. and i hated it.. ) so once the smell started making be feel ikky last ngiht i started to think i could be preg again, and then this morning.. i felt.. sooooo bad.. i feel like i'm getting morning sickness.. and just some foods arent sittign right.. Can you get preg after a little over a month of having a baby? and would symptoms show up THIS early? if we conceved on the 25th or 26th?

 

teigan - September 2

im not to sure about when you can get pregnant again, but anything is possible, i really hope you are, but hope all your worries go away to, and you get to enjoy your pregnancy, i know it will be very tough for both of you, but you have lots of support from us girls.. take care jessica, and good luck to you both xxxxxxx

 

Alison - September 2

Jessica I think you may be quite fertile following a birth but am not sure-symptoms from the 25/26th August would be very early-if you conceived then then the egg takes a week to 10 days to impant (as far as I am aware) so it would be very early for symptoms, but I'm sure it's not impossible. When should your next period be due? I think periods can be messed up after a birth so if you feel you may be pregnant again I would do a test as soon as you get to about 14-16 days past ovulation. If you are pregnant again then I pray every blessing over your little one-I know it will be scary for you after what you have been through. If you are not I hope you will cope with that too and that you will be soon. Please let us know what happens-you deserve to be blessed and I pray with all my heart that you are. Looking forward to hearing how things are going with you-take care xxx

 

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