M C Amp Having A Hard Time

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Lynette - June 22

I m/c 1 week ago today i was 14w3d, i had brown spotting for 3 days which led to cramping and then bleeding. the u/s showed that development had stopped at 8 weeks(i had brown spotting at 8 weeks that the doc said was no big deal) im a nurse so i kinda new what was coming. It was still completely devestating to see the little lifeless baby on the u/s with no heart beat. I required a d&c because me cervix wasnt opening, I was knid of relived to get it over with just the thought of my dead baby just killed me. The first wek at home i did so well i actually surprised myself, i think i did so good because of allthe support of my friends and family and i think i actually tried to be stronger than i was. I came back to work yesterday and i cried the whole day. As a part of my job i teach prenatal classes. I think it is a combination of alot of things that showed me how hard this is gonna be. My family and friends have gone back about there own lives and everyone kind of expects that i should be okay after one week. one person even said to ma that it wasnt a baby anyway.... Now im here at work trying to teach prenatal classes and im so jealous and upset that im not pregnant anymore. it seems like wherever i look i see pregnant women or women with babies and im so upset and jealous and then i feel bad for feeling jealous. I miss the pregnancy so much. I cried myself to sleep last night, i miss it sooo much words cannot describe, right now i dont know how i will ever get over this. All i can think of is how much i want to get pregnant again! I find alot of confort in this board, it helps in some way to know that there are people out there who understand 100% what we are going through. if any one needs support or needs to talk, they could email me if they like, i would like to have someone to go trough this with. [email protected]

 

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