M C On June 20 Any Help

20 Replies
Terrence - June 21

I just miscarried yesterday. I found out I was pregnant a week ago when i went into the doctor for some strange pains (not quite cramping) in my lower abdomen. I hadn’t really thought about the fact that I was 2 weeks late until the doctor asked if I could be pregnant. my husband and I haven't been actively trying to get pregnant because of timing and money but we had definitely been talking about it..so when she came back in and said that I was pregnant we were both ecstatic! (my husband almost cried and he’s a big toughy) well after a little bit of talking, the doctor calmed us down and said that she wanted me to go in for an ultra sound just to make sure the pain wasn’t caused by a tubal pregnancy. you can imagine (or you know) how apprehensive we were about that so we waited the two hours and went to the specialists and had the ultrasound...and to our joy he said everything was ok, it looked like I was about 6 weeks and it was in the uterus so not to worry. we got super excited and told everyone! then yesterday morning I started getting cramping and I called the doctor immediately they said it was probably just my uterus swelling and not to worry. well then I started spotting and everyone was telling me it was normal...but it just hurt sooo bad it didn’t seem normal, so I made an appointment for 2:00. then instead of spotting it was bleeding and by the time we were leaving for my appt. I saw some clotting. when we got there i was slightly hysterical I was crying and I could hardly talk, my husband had to do most of it but I just knew in my heart what was going on and it was a little hard to ignore all the signs. He ended up doing a D&C just to get the other tissues out and the baby itself. he said "oup there’s the pregnancy" and just scooped it out. (sorry for the details) I don’t blame him for being nonchalant about it, he probably does 3-4 a week but I think he could have kept that part to himself. needless to say I was just in a state of shock and utter sadness, I walked in a trance down the hall to get my blood drawn and I know at some point i got in the car and my husband was talking to me but i wasn’t really there. the cramping didn’t really get better and it hurt all night no matter how much medication I took and its only now subsided i’ve stopped crying a bit but i don’t know how im going to manage to go to work in the morning. i work at a daycare with my mother in-law and my grand mother in-law and seeing them and all the babies/toddlers is going to be so hard. i don’t know what I expect from writing this i just know that right now I feel like i’ve got millions of questions that i don’t have answers to but i dont even know what the questions even are. I guess because he didn’t explain much to me and the little he did say just went out my other ear, maybe that’s why i feel this way. like im just floating around not knowing what to do. i should do some laundry i know. or i should read a little. or maybe i should watch TV but instead all i can seem to do is stare off and sleep and sometimes read some of your stories which helps a little. Any ways, i don’t have a real question that i can ask but any comment are truly welcome. maybe you can help anchor me back to reality. Oh and any scientific jargon is welcome and definitely all helpful tips. Thank you and god bless.

 

Jenner - June 21

I know how you feel and I hooked up with this website and read the stories hear and posted my questions and it really did make me feel better. You are not alone in this. I miscarried or told I was having a miscarriage on June 9th. I didn't start bleeding until a few days later. My husband and I were trying for almost 2 years and we were both so happy we were pregnant. We ran out and told everyone too and then had to tell everyone the sad news. If you don't feel up to going to work I would not go. I was fortuante I had the next day off and then it was the weekend. On Monday I did leave work early though as I had extreme back pain. You need time for yourself to deal with your loss and to grieve. Give yourself that time. You need it and deserve it. Keep this website in your favorites and check it often as it is a very good support and we understand what you are going through when no one else can.

 

terrence - June 21

how far along were you? it sounds aweful... sometimes i feel bad for feeling so bad because i know others have been through so much more and that my husband and i werent even trying. so it sort of makes me wonder why i should be so depressed..:( but yeah there is wonderful support here and i dont know how i would even made it this far without having been able to read everyones stories

 

Jenner - June 21

I was about 5 weeks along. You shouldn't feel bad for feeling bad. No matter if you were trying or not you were so happy to have the baby and then to have to go through miscarriage is awful. It is almost numbing when you get the news but you must let yourself grieve for the baby you lost. It is a tragedy. I am feeling much better emotionally and physically now but there isn't a day that goes that I don't think about it. You need to take care of yourself right now. Going to work may not be the best thing for you right now given where you work. If you can take another day or two off to sort through your thoughts and feelings. You will start to feel better. You will never forget but you will start to feel better. I am to that point now. Best wishes to you and remember you are not alone. I know exactly how you are feeling and what a terrible feeling it is but hang in there as time will heal your broken heart.

 

terrence - June 21

thanks you've really helped soo much. im only 19 and i know i have so much time to try again but i wish theyd call about my blood results. im not really sure why they took my blood i dont remember, do you know why maybe? my husband and i were talking about having a baby for a long time, even before we were married. we knew we should wait till we were settled and had set aside the money. but when we found out we were pregnant we went over our budget right then and knew we would be fine. so money wasnt a scare. its just kind of hard to believe it can be over so fast. im trying to preoccupy myself with laundry but its not helping much...mainly im just reading everyones posts still, to make sense of it all maybe? thanks a million god bless

 

terrence - June 21

i think i just need someone to talk too i cant call my husband because hes working and ive allready called him about a million bazillion times..i just wish i could have kept the baby i know tech i only knew for about a week or whatever but it felt like forever i was even impatient to have to wait till id start showing...maqybe i just over think things but at least it helps a little to post even if no one reads it it help get it out

 

JJ - June 21

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I had m/c on march 20 and still it is hard to deal with.They took your blood prob to check your hormone levels to make sure they come down.Take care of yourself.

 

Jenn - June 21

I am soo sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through right now, time helps today marks 2 months since i m/c at 8 weeks. this site has been very helpful even still. i too think about it every day and i stil have moments of many tears, but what has helped me is looking forward to getting pregnant again even though we are going to wait a couple more months before we ttc.

 

tab - June 22

sorry for ur lost, I too m/c 3 months ago at 8 weeks. I felt the same way u feel now. It felt helpless and after the d&c, it was like my whole world stopped. The only thing that pulled me out of my depression was prayer and meditating on God. Just know that time heals all wounds and when the time is right, u will have another baby. Take this time to grieve your loss, but don't cut urself off from those who love u. Communicate with ur husband, he feels pain too and together u can heal. The doctor didn't say much, because he didn't know. A loss like that usually is natures way of aborting when something is wrong with the fetus. I hope I was helpful and my prayers are with u.

 

tammy - June 22

i too m/c on june 20 it was devistating to say the least this is the 2nd one in 10 months i hope you keep trying it will happen for me he doesent want to try i dont know what to do its all i think about. i think if you took a couple days off of work it would be a good thing it hurts me to look at our other kids and they are all older. saying it, talking about it, screaming if thats what feels good is all justified it hurts as bad as any loss6 weeks or 6 decades i wish you the best and will pray for you and your family

 

amanda - June 22

Terrence- I am so sorry for your loss. I m/c on June 7 (exactly two weeks ago). I was 7 wks pregnant w/ 1st child. It was definitely one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Please know that no matter what everyone else says that you do need to grieve the loss of your baby. Remember that you are a "mom" that lost a baby. You need to know that. So many people seem to think that there is no connection, but a mother forms a connection immediately, and she feels the loss. There is really nothing that can make you feel better except time, and it does help. Continue to talk about it with someone you know will listen. This will help too. I walked around like a zombie for days and could cry on command, but now I am doing much better and becoming much stronger. Again, I am so sorry.

 

amanda - June 22

Tammy- You seem so strong and faithful. I can not imagine going through this pain twice (although, how many women on this site have had only one m/c?). You must be quite an amazing person. I am so sorry for you and the loss of your babies. How far along were you? Has the doctor given you any reason? You are in my prayers. Please do not loose hope of having a baby. And your right..it does take crying, screaming, yelling, and even curling up all alone to grieve the loss. I will pray for all of us. Oh Terrence- I am a teacher so I can relate to the feelings of jealousy and why me? It is okay to feel that way.

 

amanda - June 22

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Tab- I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Lynette - June 22

Hi Terrence, im very sorry for your loss. I m/c 1 week ago today i was 14w3d, i had brown spotting for 3 days which led to cramping and then bleeding. im a nurse so i kinda new what was coming, it was still completely devestating to see the little lifeless baby on the u/s with no heart beat. I required a d&c because me cervix wasnt opening, I was knid of relived to get it over with the thought i my dead baby just killed me. The first wek at home i did so well i actually surprised myself, i think i did so good because of allthe support of my friends and family. I came back to work yesterday and i cried the whole day. I too work with children and teach prenatal cla__ses. I think it is a combination of alot of things that showed me how hard this is gonna be. My family and friends have gone back about there own lives and everyone kind of expects that i should be okay after one week. one person even said to ma that it wasnt a baby anyway...well i let them know. Now im here at work trying to teach prenatal cla__ses and im so jealous and upset that im not pregnant anymore. I miss the pregnancy so much. I cried myself to sleep last night, i miss it sooo much words cannot describe, right now i dont know how i will ever get over this. All i can think of is how much i want to get pregnant again! I find alot of confort in this board, it helps in some way to know that there are people out there who understand 100% what we are going through. if any one needs support or needs to talk, they could email me if they like, i would like to have someone to go trough this with. [email protected]

 

julie - June 22

I am sorry for your loss terrence, I had my second m/c june 5th, I went for a scan june 9th because of bleeding and they told me I had already lost the baby. I was 6.5 weeks and knew I was pg for 2 weeks. me and hubby were devastated and still are. the first few days i spent crying and like you staring off in to space, every day gets a bit better but once in a while sumething reminds me of my baby and I end up in tears. when my hubby has seen me in tears has asked what is wrong, I don't think he realizes that I am still grieving even though we have started to ttc again I will always grieve for the baby's i have lost. your baby will always be in your heart and it will get better. give yourself and your hubby time to heal as you both have lost, take comfort from him. good luck and huggs and tissues.

 

terrence - June 22

hey thank you all so much for writting to me i was a tad bit on the crazy side yesterday and was very lonely. all of my friends and family were working so i had to wait till 4:00 just to talk to somebody. i think its really helps knowing that there are alot of other women who have been through what im going through and are willing to talk about it...its kind of soothing? i dont know it helps put my fears at ease i guess...i still feel like ive got all of those questions and i dont know the answers but my husband and i sat down last night and talked and cried and it really helped to know that it hurt him too. i guess thats the wrong thing to say but it almost felt like he was ignoring me yesterday and i confronted him and he just said he didnt know what to say to me to help me stop crying or make me feel better. weve never been through this so its not like we know what each other want to hear to feel better or to feel that comfort. anyways i came back to work today and surprising as it sounds it really helped me to be around all of "my babies" i dont think i realized how much i missed them i still get a little sad when i watch them play and sometimes i have to go to the bathroom because ill just start crying out of no-where but its better then staying at home and cleaning. . . . does anyone know when the cramping is supposed to go away? i kind of feel like everyone wants me to just get over it allready. like "come one its been almost 2 days you should really let it go" im trying to be strong because ive allways been a strong one but i keep rubbing my tummy and thinking about the baby names ive had picked out for like a year and a half. i guess im stilla bit crazy. anyways thank you soo much for writting! XOXO

 

Kelly - June 22

Terrence I hope this note finds you feeling a little better. I m/c on the 11th of May about five weeks into the prenancy. I too was very upset. But I wanted to let you know that it has not taken very long for me to get another + test result. I have to go see my doc this week. Good luck to you and all the ladies who have posted .

 

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