Miscarraige Help

8 Replies
Sami - February 24

i came back from the hospital yesterday after them telling me that im having a delayed miscarraige and i now have to decide how i want to deal with it.im incredibly sad and cant stop crying,i dont even think its sunk in yet. i dont want to go through theatre but i dont know if im strong enough to wait for nature to take its course.i'd appreciate any advice because i dont know where to turn.

 

sososleepy - February 24

OH Sami, I'm sorry. Either way you decide is ok, but a d&c will get it physically over with faster; emotionally takes longer, longer than I thought it would. No, it hasn't sunk in yet. It seems to ooze in over the next several weeks, but there are lots of us here experiencing similar things, so come on back as you need us. I've been here daily for 28 days, and it has helped a lot. Big big hugs.

 

Sami - February 24

thank you so much, i think part of me is hoping that if i dont go to theatre then my baby will be ok.i know that sounds silly but im having trouble accepting it. thank you so much xx

 

sososleepy - February 24

Sami, I had it easier if that can be said regarding mc, because I just started bleeding and cramping without really knowing first. If you can get them to do another ultrasound, so you really know, that might help. I had one before the d&c so I knew there was no live baby. That helped me. It might help to consider the procedure as getting ready for the next baby? I can't say I've accepted it.. I have sort of, but it's more a tolerate it because I can't change it if that makes sense. I'm still foot stomping p__sed, sad, ect. Did they do an ultrasound? How far along were you and what did they actually find? It does not sound silly, you need to be completely sure regardless of how sure they are to feel as ok as you can about it. I understand that... some doc's don't seem to.

 

Sami - February 24

yeah i had 3 ultrasounds, i am approx 7-8wks.went for the first scan because i was bleeding+my doc referred me.they then said i was prob 2early to see anything so,so they took bloods+i had to wait a week.went back+they still couldnt see the heartbeat+my beta levels seemed very hi(16000)-they range from 1000-56000 during pregnancy.so they took more bloods+i had to wait another week.Again at the scan no foetal echo+my beta levels did rise but not as much as they expected,they took more bloods+i had to ring a few hours later for them to tell me that my beta levels have now gone down which would confirm diagnosis of a failed pregnancy. Its just awful the thought that it's still with me+even though i've seen the scans myself, my baby hasn't left me yet, so am i right to give up already?

 

Belief - February 24

Sami - I am so sorry for your loss. I was in the same boat three months ago. Sososleepy is right. A D&C will get it phsyically over with. I didn't want to do it but then when I started bleeding it sunk in. I had the D&C. You will be sad and will cry but we are here when you need us. Lots of hugs go out to you. ps....my husband is reading over my shoulder and he says it will be okay...not right now but it will be. :)

 

ROBYN - February 24

Sami - i am so sorry for your loss. I just had a D&E on Tuesday these girls were wonderful and guided me thru everything we were 14 1/2 weeks I had no amniotic fluid and the baby appeared to not be developing kidneys it was awful but a D&C is quicker not painful and you wont have to wait for nature. Good luck to you

 

hcw - February 24

hi sami - gosh, i'm so sorry for your loss, it's really just awful and there's no way around it. the ladies around here were a great comfort to me last year when i had mine, and i'm sure they'll be a great a help to you. as for whether to go for a d&c or natural, i thought i'd let you know that although the natural can be really painful and intense beyond belief, I feel sure that it helped me to heal. strange to say, but somehow it was a great comfort to me that my body knew what to do and did it and going through it externalized the pain i was feeling inside. i don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but i just thought i'd let you know. either way, it's very sad and i hope that you have loving arms nearby when you need them - plus, we're here for you of course. take care.

 

Sami - February 25

it's a comforting thought that there are so many of you that know what i'm going through.This is pure hell and I have to keep a smile on my face for my 4yr old daughter who knows nothin except mummys not as much fun.this is my second m/c but the first one happened when i didnt even know i was pregnant.all my family+friends keep saying i should feel lucky that i have her and we can always try again. whilst thats true,this baby was mine too and knowing that i'm losing it is heart breaking.But thanks for all the advice i think i pretty much know what i'm going to do, you guys are great. i hope one day i can be of use to you xxxxxxx

 

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