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agnes71 - October 2nd, 2007 7:11 AM

Hello. This is my first post on this site. I miscarried 5 weeks ago today. I was 19 weeks pregnant. At about 17 weeks i went for a routine check up with the midwife who couldn't find the heartbeat. She told me not to worry. "Baby's hide". I went home worried. I spoke to my friend who said that didn't sound very good. I tried to get another appointment with the doctor to double check. I couldn't get one for 10 days. I eventually went in again at 19 weeks, was seen by a GP who couldn't find the heartbeat. She said "don't panic just yet". Then, as I was clearly panicking, she booked me an appointment at the hospital to have a scan. I was seen by a midwife there who couldn't find the heartbeat with a monitor. She then said a doctor would come and do a scan. All the while I was thinking, I am probably being ultra paranoid, any minute now they'll tell me it's all okay, there's the heartbeat. The doctor came to do a scan. I looked on the screen and knew something was wrong. The baby didn't seem to be moving. At our 12 week ultrasound the baby was bouncing around like a jumping bean. This wasnt right. The doctor stepped back, away from me. I asked him what had happened. He told me "you can see for yourself. There is no heartbeat. Baby has died." I started to hyperventilate. The doctor said he was sorry, then left. I was shaking, thought I was going to be sick. COuldn't believe what I was hearing. I tried to ring my partner but he wasn't answering his phone. I managed to get through to an independent midwife I had been thinking about using for the birth. She told me to get a second opinion. To cut a long story short, I had another scan which confirmed the bad news. THe baby had died. OUr baby had died. My partner eventually arrived. We held onto each other in the side room while the doctor went off to get us the pills I needed to take to be induced. 24 hours later I gave birth to my baby girl, 90g she weighed, and she was perfect, just tiny, apart from she had the cord wrapped around her neck four times.

THis was our second late miscarriage. THe first one was in March 2006 when I was 15 weeks and 4 days pregnant. With that miscarriage I woke with terrible pains in my abdomen and an hour or so later miscarried the baby in hospital. I never saw that baby, I don't even know what s_x it was.

Has anyone else had two late miscarriages and gone onto have a baby? I feel as if it will never happen for me. Two of my good friends who were pregnant with me the first time now have year old babies and are planning their second. I had no idea it was going to be this painful and this tough. I am 36, 36 in January and feel that time is running out. Any comments gratefully appreciated.


emtcutie1028 - October 2nd, 2007 8:06 AM

Agnes, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. :-(. It is definately far from easy. Did they ever say why you lost your first baby? Im a__suming the the cause of losing this baby was because of the cord accident? I am in the same boat as you, I lost my son Aug 22 at 22 weeks due to incompetent cervix. I felt that if I was watched closer by my docs in the last 2 weeks I knew about the cervix my little boy would still be here. Instead, I was ignored. I would talk to your doctor and see if they know the reasons why you miscarried, and if there are any tests etc you can do. Keep your head up! If you would like to you should come over to The Clean Slate and chat with us. I dont get a chance to get on too often but there are a lot of women over there that have gone through a lot as well and are really supportive.


agnes71 - October 9th, 2007 1:22 PM

Thank you so much for your reply em. They never gave me a reason for the first baby - just put it down to bad luck. Incompetent cervix was talked about (what a horrible term) but it didn't fit with my situation. I agree with you - better monitoring would, I feel, have made a real difference. I'm definitely going to have all the tests I can done, and for my partner too. But sometimes i think the more I know about this whole subject, the more scared I feel and the less able to try and be confident for next time. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. 22 weeks is so late. It just feels tragic that we have to go through these terrible things. Will check out the clean slate. thanks!


b___boobear - October 9th, 2007 1:45 PM

Hi Agnes, sorry for your loss. i went thru a miscarriage at 12 wks. Did you have an amniocentesis done either time? You really should have more information-and any specimens from your fetus should reveal the s_x and karyotype (but your doctors must send these off)-you probably had a trisomy. From what it sounds like are you in a rural area? You really should be under the care of a OB-Gyn, not a midwife or a GP in my opinion.


agnes71 - October 10th, 2007 9:45 AM

Hi Booboo, thank you for your message. I didn't have an amnio either time. No, I'm not in a rural area - I'm in London! The consultant who discharged me from hospital said I would be monitored carefully next time, so I guess that would mean under the care of an OB-Gyn? I haven't yet had my meeting with the consultant to talk over what happened and discuss the autopsy they did on the placenta (I didn't want them to do an autopsy on the baby). I'm hoping I'll get some answers then. What's a trisomy by the way?


samy - October 10th, 2007 10:14 AM

hi agnes......i m so sorry to hear abt ur loss....even i lost my little ones at 20 weeks(twins boys) and second time at 24 weeks(daughter) 6 weeks back...my doc have not been able to rule out any reason...i m still going thru all the tests which are normal till now......there r no words that can give us peace...but we have to move on. i still waiting for that day wen i can hold my full term healthy baby. u r in my prayers. but i know somebody who had also gone thru similar as i had and now today has 2 yr old daughter...good luck to u


CodyKatie5 - October 11th, 2007 12:31 AM

Agnes, I too lost my daughter to a cord accident 9 weeks ago at FULL TERM. I can completely identify with the panic of not finding a heartbeat and the hyperventilation when the doc tells you your baby has died. My daughter had her cord wrapped 3 times around her neck and once around her body. I know what it feels like to hold your perfectly formed baby and know that you will not be able to bring her home. It is so excruciatingly painful. I do know, however, that my husband and I are not alone in our pain. I have faith in Christ and I know that God has a plan for us, even though I think it sucks right now and I have made it clear to Him what I think of it. It is so hard to see other women that were pregnant the same time as me with their babies. Doc has given my husband and I the greenlight to TTC after one more period, and we are going to because I can not live my life in fear. If I do that, I will miss out on the joys that He has planned for me. If I am blessed with another pregnancy, I will be treated as a high risk pregnancy (even though I'm only 23 and I had no complications with my pregnancy) simply because of what happened. I am moving to another state and my doc said that when I find a new doc, to make sure that they are constantly monitoring me by u/s and whatever other technology they have, more for peace of mind. And she also said to make it clear to your doc what you want. That's what they are there for. I also had a c-section to deliver by, so I will make it clear to my next doc that I want to deliver as soon as the lungs are developed (I was 40w4d when she stopped moving). I will keep you in my prayers.


agnes71 - October 11th, 2007 5:38 AM

Samy - I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. It is so hard to find hope and positivity but it really does help to feel as if there are people out there, people I don't even know, who do understand and do care. Thank you for your support, and for your story of your friend with the postivie outcome. My sister has a friend who had 4 miscarriages in a row (!) and has gone on to have two healthy babies so that has given me hope too.
Cody - I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been so very hard. But it sounds as if you are someone who insists on moving towards hope which is so important. I think the extra monitoring is really crucial. I read that tender loving care is a really important factor in women with recurrent pregnancy loss, or stillbirths, sometimes more important than any other treatment, so I hope you get as much of that as possible with the next pregnancy. We are hoping to TTC in a month or so (I just had my first cycle) but I want to have had as many tests as possible before we do. I got a referral to Lesley Regan's recurrent miscarriage clinic but that's not until January. They recommend you wait to TTC until after you've been to see them but that feels like a long way away and I don't feel like I have the luxury of time (at the same time I know you need to not think like that!). What I was wondering is whether I can get the same tests done with my local consultant as I will have at the clinic, and that way get things moving more quickly. By the way, does anyone know anything about Dr Shehata and the whole natural killer cell theory for women with recurrent miscarriage?


b___boobear - October 17th, 2007 9:15 PM

Dear Agnes,

Sorry I didn't answer your ? earlier. A trisomy is when you have an extra set of chromosomes and most miscarriages involve this (eg Down's Syndrome is Trisomy 21). Most trisomies are not compatible with life. The older you are, the more likely your fetus will suffer from this. However, in order to determine this a karyotype must be done on the tissue. It is very helpful so you don't blame yourself for the miscarriage and you have more information, such as the s_x of the baby.

For future reference, here in the states with infertility patients you get your first serum/blood beta-HCG checked 14 days after your procedure, such as IVF, then the level is rechecked at some point to make sure it is doubling every 2-3 days. An initial beta HCG less than 70 is usually not a viable pregnancy. Your first U/S should be at 6 wks to look for the heartbeat, the heartbeat should be at least 90 beats a minute, otherwise the baby usually will not make it. Your U/S is repeated to make sure growth is appropriate for dates. The next step is amniocentesis at 16 wks (or chorionic villus sampling at 8 wks-riskier though). Some choose to also get a nuchal (neck) U/S which can show if your baby has Down's.

Unfortunately, I'm an expert at this since I've been through 3 miscarriages in the past year. I wish you luck and hope this information helps you next time.


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