Miscarriage Past Present Amp Please Not In My Future

171 Replies
jessieb - May 1

h__lo. i am starting a thread for women who want a constant source of support and to not feel alone in the world; especially amongst the pregnant women that seem to be everywhere but in your mirror. my name is jessie and this is my story: i had my first miscarriage last april. i was 7w but the baby never developed past five weeks. i started spotting in the 7th week which sent me to the doctor. the next week, i started to miscarry a couple days later. my dh and i were not married at that time. i wanted to try again right away, for fear of it happening again. well, we decided to wait and get more settled and married :) so, we did. i started on the patch and off we were. in february we were ready to start this all again. i removed the patch, got my BFP the first month of trying. we actually found out same exact day, one year later, march 21. well, here i am again... awaiting a miscarriage of my second pregnancy. this time the pregnancy progressed a little further, we saw a heartbeat this time. oh, the false security of that! on april 7 i had a spot of blood and started to lose my mind. there was nothing after that spot of blood. i went to the doctor april 11, had the first ultrasound. that was when we saw the heartbeat & blood in my uterus. i got the surprising 50/50 percentage on the pregnancy. left the office with a little less spring in my step. waited the week went back and baby hadn't grown and no heartbeat, that was april 18th. i have stll not miscarried yet. i want to do in naturally, did it once before i can do it again i say. this two weeks is starting to wear on me and i am sure on wednesday, at my appt, we will discuss the need for a d&c. well, i guess that is enough to start with. i want to find you out there who need someone to check in with daily. to let each other hear our fears, concerns, rants, support and joy (someday).

 

SaraH - May 1

Hey Jessie, I'm glad you started this thread I also am in need of knowing "your not alone" and that others are in the same possition as I am. I also have had two miscarriages. The first one was at 4+ w and the last one was at the beginning of the 8th w. With the last one I started spotting so they did an u/s. The baby was too small for the date (we believe that it had pa__sed away earlier but I'm not exactly sure how much too small it was). I was lucky in that I didn't have to wait for the miscarriage to occure (it happened late the night I had the u/s) but the doctor had told me it could take a couple of weeks to happen. So, while I've never had to go through the waiting I know how I felt being faced with that and I cant emagine how difficult it is just waiting for it. I'll be praying that you don't have to wait to much longer.

 

jessieb - May 2

hi sarah, i am sorry for your losses. gosh they don't get easier huh? i think this one is worse. when did you have yours? recently? do you have any kids yet?

 

jessieb - May 2

i had more questions for you..i didn't mean to submit :) did you have a d&c with the first one? can i ask how old you are? i am 26. i just talked to my mother in law for the first time since this happened. she has been on vacation for two weeks. she has been my shining star through the last one. she had a miscarriage and really helped me through the last one. i was really missing her these two weeks. phew, it felt real good to talk to her. where do you live sara? i live in austin, texas

 

chandellina - May 2

hi sarah and jessie, can i join your thread? i too have gone through it twice - in Oct. and again in March, both times around 8 weeks though like Jessie got hopeful this time because we saw a heartbeat and everything seemed fine until it wasn't there any longer! (at 8 week scan) First time I miscarried naturally, second time had D&C. I am ttc again this month and hope to give all another go. I am going to have some tests done, but not until late this month at the earliest, so am hoping i've just been unlucky so far. jessie - i hope it all goes ok for you. i chose D&C this time because i couldn't bear all the hanging around and waiting. i never had any spotting in either pregnancy (except after s_x once) and after the D&C they said i'd made the right decision because there was a lot of tissue well embedded. not sure where that leaves me on why the pregnancies are failing though!

 

jessieb - May 2

hello chandellina. would love you to join us! has your doctor provided any information for you? everyone (family and friends) is buggging me to "get answers" or "see another doctor". i don't want to, i love my doctor and I know she is bieng honest with me saying that it is not really investigated till after three

 

MarcyM - May 2

Got room for one more? I’d love to have a place to come to check in with other women who, unfortunately, know what it’s like to have gone through a m/c and want to get pregnant again. Here’s our story: At the beginning of February I went into early labor and delivered our daughter 20 weeks early…as I’m sure you know 20 weeks is just too early, she lived for a little over an hour. We were anxious to conceive again as I’m 34 and concerned about “wasting” too much time. After my first AF mid-March we started ttc and got good news….very faint good news, but we were indeed pregnant. The blood test confirmed it, unfortunately the second blood test delivered the bad news….this was a Chemical Pregnancy and I would start miscarrying soon, April 21 I started bleeding. Now I am just trying to get a good idea as to when I’ll ovulate next. I feel like I’ve become a bit obsessive…I spend more time on this site than I should during the work day. I guess I’m just searching for others to connect with, who know what it’s like and are anxious to get pregnancy and reach full term. Jessie- I can’t imagine what it must feel like to wait for a m/c….I hope you don’t have to wait long and are able to try again as soon. You are so lucky to have your MIL for support! Sarah- Do you mind if I ask how long after your first m/c before you got pregnant again? I’m playing these crazy games just trying to figure out when we might have our next opportunity…I’m too impatient to wait for another AF to figure out the cycle. My Dr told me had it not been for the early HPT I may never have know I was expecting and just a__sumed AF was late. She said go ahead and try… Chandellina—Are you seeing a RE later this month? I know I’ve gotten very long winded here…I’m just grateful to have perhaps found others to as Jessie said share in our sadness, frustration and joy! ~Marcy

 

jessieb - May 2

hi marcy!! i know what you mean about spending too much time on here at work!! i do the same because i just crave talking to others in the same boat... makes me feel less isolated in a world of healthy happy pregnant women. (the only other woman i work with is pregnant with her second. i can't get away from it :) )

 

jessieb - May 2

marcy have you taken your temp or tried charting at all to predict ovulation? i learned a little bit about it the month before i got pregnant. or checking your cervical position & mucous? it can all be pretty accurate. fertilityfriend.com is great for charting. i had one for a little bit.

 

MarcyM - May 2

Jessie...that's got to be tough to go to work with antoher pg woman...does she know what you're going through? Hopefully she's gracious and considerate of your needs right now. A very good friend of mine had her little girl on Saturday...we were 6 weeks apart and looking forward to spending our maternity leave together. She has been so thoughtful whenever we are together.

 

MarcyM - May 2

Someone pointing me to Fertilityfriend yesterday and just this morning I started taking my temp....now I just want the whole chart to be full so that I have something usefull to work with. Kinda mad I never did it before. As for the Cervical position...not so sure I'd be able to do that... the CM I can figure out. :-)

 

jessieb - May 2

good awesome!! i think that will totally help marcy. yeah, my co-worker is totally great. she knows all about it. she joking tried to hide her belly yesterday.. it is just a physical reminder that that is not me.... i don't get to be the pregnant woman i should be. i have a friend who is pregnant as well. she found out two days after me. that makes me sad.... i will see her pregnancy and baby as a reminder of my loss. i don't want to, i am not proud of those feelings but they are true... last year my sister in law found out she was pregnant the week i started to miscarry... i just wish i could go through this without having another woman close to be go through it too but with different results.

 

tucker12 - May 2

Hey jessieb I had my first m/c in Jan. at a little over 5 weeks I started spotting and was told that I would m/c in a couple of weeks. I had to wait 2.5 weeks for it to happen and unfortunately it started in Sam's Club. All of the sudden I just felt this rush of wetness and of course you know the rest. The next one was in the middle of April, but it was a chemical pregnancy. Got a few positive tests and then I could tell something wasn't right so I took another test a 5 weeks and it was negative, and I started my period the next day. I am convinced of course that that is not the 1st chem. preg. that I have had. In Ocober I was convinced I was pregnant but did not take any tests because I was out of town, but was 4 days late and had all of the same symptoms I know now to be pregnancies signs. I eneded up getting my period a week late, and just didn't think anything of it. Well I have already had 2 appt. with a RE specialist. I had an HSG done, very painful and a saline sonogram. I have not yet reviewed it with the Dr. but both radiologist told me that everything looks normal. My husband has to get his spermies checked out in 2 weeks and we go from there. I am ovulating next week, so i still want to give it one more try. But I am already thinking about IVF. I have always had this feeling that I was going to have problems having children... and now it a reality. I am so sorry for all of your loses. It is really nice to be able to come on here and talk to people that actually understand what you are going through. We can actually talk about this stuff without getting funny looks from people, none of my friends ever want to talk about this...I think they think it is too depressing or something?

 

jessieb - May 2

hi tucker. i know what you mean about people not wanting to talk about it or they tell you to just let go and you can move on!! yeah, right! like it is that easy. it is not like i lost two pairs of shoes. i am glad to learn from all your experiences. i love to have people around to learn from... i am scared of my unknown future. i guess we can all face it together... i am sorry for your losses.

 

MarcyM - May 3

Jessie--Just checking in to see how you're doing today.

 

jessieb - May 3

morning marcy... i am well. i have my appt today at 3:00. i will take the rest of the day off work... well, it will only really be an hour. :) i am SO tired in the mornings. i can barely lift up my arms in the shower. i think it might be the pregnancy hormones still in me. when i was "viably pregnant" i was SSOOOO exhausted. i think this is some remnants. how are you?

 

MarcyM - May 3

I'm good...just trying to get motivated to get some work done. I've been entering my daily stats at Fertilityfriend and trying to guess at when our best chance tc will be...I stare at this stuff every day I don't know why I, there's nothing new to see :-) Hope your appot goes well and you do something for your self with your hour off this afternoon! Have a great day!

 

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