Missed Miscarriage And Getting Pregnant Again

4 Replies
Jessica Heartbroken - December 27

I am new to this site as well. I experienced a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks on November 7. We went to hear the baby's heartbeat and the doctor could not detect one, so we had an ultrasound and the baby was not moving and had no heartbeat. I had a D&C on November 9. I don't know how far a long the baby was. My doctor didn't tell me. I know that my baby is heaven and it was all about the Lord's will, but I still feel like my doctor could have done better. I didn't even get weighed or have blood work done the whole 13 weeks I was pregnant. What makes this harder for me is that my sister is pregnant as well. We were going to be 2 weeks apart. She is now 18 weeks along. I would have been 20 weeks along. She went to the doctor last week and had baby pictures and everyone was making over them. I had to go into another room and cry, I have faith in the Lord and I have never asked him why, but I don't feel like it is fair. We were trying to get pregnant. We got pregnant after 2 months of trying and my sister was not even trying. I get down from time to time. I want to be happy for her and I am but I feel sad and empty. I can't help but think that should be me and not you. I don't wish this on my sister or anyone at that matter. I pray everyday for her to have a healthy baby. My husband and family keep telling me to get over it, it will happen again. But, I can't get over it. I know I have to in order to get pregnant again. It is very hard for me and even harder to see my sister go through her pregnancy. I know when her baby comes in May. I will be thinking of my baby in heaven. I think of my baby everyday. Does anybody else have these feelings? Am I wrong for having these feelings? My doctor told me I could pregnant when I felt like. However, I am changing doctors. I have a appt in Jan with a new doctor. I have not had my period yet either. It has been 7 weeks since my D&C and 49 days. I bled for about 10 days after my D&C, with blood clots. I stopped and I had s_x with my husband and then I bled again only brownish for one or two days and then stopped again and then I bled for 1 or 2 more days only brownish again. On December 2 I bled real red blood only for a day and stop and on December 4 I had brownish red blood again mostly when I wiped. I have not bled since. I thought I was ovulating on December 14 so I thought I would get my period this week, but nothing. I called my doctor yesterday the old one and they said it could take up to 8 weeks. I am just anxious to get my period to start trying again. I pray that the new year will bring a new life that I keep here on earth with me and husband. I took a at home pregnancy test on November 15 and it was negative and a blood test on November 20 and it was negative, so I know I am not pregnant. Can anybody help me? Thanks!

 

BNPK - December 27

I understand how you feel. I recently had a missed miscarriage at 3 months. Same senario when we found out. Expected to see/hear the heartbeat (We had already seen the baby 3 times & seen & heard heartbeat. Not to mention I get very sick throwing up everyday & chances of losing a baby with that is slim). We were devasted. This is my 3rd misscarriage (Not in a row) 2 happened at 5 weeks, this one 3 months.To make it harder several of my friends were pregnant with me, one was a week ahead of me. Today I find out another friend is pregnant. Its very hard because I want to feel happy for them, but I can barely look at them. Its not fair for me to act that way but just seeing them I want to cry because I wanted my baby too. All I think is now it will be atleast September or october (I have my babies early) till I will hold my baby when I would have in june. A couple of differences between us is I already have a 2 year old so she keeps me very busy & I love my Doctor- who takes very good care of me. I do hope you find a new doctor you can trust. I will with my next pregnancy go to the dr. every 2 weeks & I will get a fetal monitor so I can hear the heartbeat.

 

Jessica Heartbroken - December 27

Thank you so much BNPK. It really helps to know that you someone else is feeling the way I am feeling. I am sorry to hear about your 3 miscarriages but I very happy to hear you have a 2 year old. I hope I have a child very soon. I don't just want to get pregnant again, I want to have a healthy baby to keep with us on earth. How do find the way to get past your feelings and be happy for your friends? I am very happy for my sister. My husband told me that maybe the Lord blessed my sister with her baby because she is lonely. Her husband is only home 2-3 days a week, he works away from home. Whatever the reason was for the Lord, I have to accept it and have faith. How long did it take to you get your period after your misscarriages?

 

BriannasMummy - December 27

Wow it sounds as though youve been through quite a lot. Dont ever feel bad for not being able to get over it. That baby was YOUR baby, and you cant just get over it, and go on as if nothing ever happened. S/he will never be forgotten and will always remain in your heart and your thoughts. Any of those feelings that you feel towards your sister and her baby are perfectly normal too. YOu cant help but wish it were you, and wish you had a growing belly with a happy, healthy lo inside. Only time will ease your pain.. i know everyone has probably said that, but it is true. Sounds as though some of the bleeding that you did might have been your body trying to get back into the swing of things. Sometimes it can take quite a while to get your period back, and sometimes your body is still a little out of wack and even the smaller amounts of blood can be considered a period. I had a miscarriage in April. I bled for about 4 days, and my AF returned 28 days later.. just as it was before.. im one of those lucky ones with the Af returning, there are other ladies that have to wait 6-8 weeks. I wish nothing but the best for you. ((Hugs)) ~Kristin~

 

Jessica Heartbroken - December 27

Thanks BriannasMummy. Your words are encouraging. It does feel nice that other women go through same thing, however I would not wish this on anyone and I wish that the Lord would bless all women with healthy babies. Me and my husband believe that the Lord did answer our prayers. We prayed for a healthy baby and maybe my baby was not healthy. He answered my prayers just in a different way. I try so hard to be happy for my sister and I am, it is just really hard to be around her. I want my family to not pay attention to the pregnancy and not to make a big deal of it, so I that I have time heal and be at peace, but then that is not fair to my sister and her baby. I pray that the Lord will bless me and my husband with a baby in 2008. I pray me and my sister both have babies celebrating their first Christmas's next year. Even if the Lord blesses me with another baby and I pray he does, everytime I look at my sister's baby, I will always be reminded of the one I lost. Everytime is takes it's first step, goes to school or even get married, I will always be reminded of what might have been if I had not lost my baby. Maybe it is the Lord's way of giving me strength, who knows. I just have to have faith. I will love my sister's child just as my own. But it will always be difficult for me, I pray the Lord will give me another baby and a family of my own. I need people to talk to who know what I am going through. No boby in my family understands not even my husband and his family. They make me feel so bad when I get depressed. I have to admit I have handled this better than I thought I would, but here lately I am getting back in a rut, I think is because of my sister and her growing belly. I still find it hard to believe sometimes. Does anyone have acid reflux? I had some problems while I was pregnant and the doctor took me off my medicine of protonix and I was really sick.

 

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