Moving Forward

2 Replies
acroley84 - July 2

I was surprised to discover I was pregnant in April. I was only about four weeks along when I discovered it. We had just started trying and were not expecting to get pregnant so quickly. My husband was so cute and excited. At 6 weeks I went in for an ultrasound and they didn't hear a heartbeat and my HCG levels were not increasing among other things I can't remember , this lead us to the obvious conclusion. I had a D&C and the doctor said all should be fine for getting pregnant in the future. When he ran test he saw no reason for my miscarriage which was frustrating but he said in some ways that was good because there were serious roadblocks presenting at this time. My husband was so supportive during my miscarriage and I know he was in pain too. He listened and doted on me for a few weeks. The he worried about me saying that I needed to put this behind me the best I could. He said I couldn’t grieve forever. My husband is ready to try again. The doctor said next month we can safely try again. I want a baby so badly but I can't take another disappointment right now. I know that 1 in 4 women miscarry and there is no reason to believe it will happen again. There is no way to be sure. Sometimes it just happens. Logically I know this. Emotionally I am so scared. How do I tell him I need more time? I do want to move on. I want to heal. maybe I should have healed by now but I haven't. How do I explain this to him?

 

eclipse - July 3

I have been in your same situation, and your husband is probably grieving more than you know and just wants you to be pregnant again so HE can put it behind him. I had my miscarriage in November 2005. I was 10 weeks along, and the fetus died at 6 weeks. It was devastating, especially when my levels were so high and there was hope that it wasn't really happening, but then I had to have an emergency d & c. My husband was devastated. so was I. I first wanted to try immediately but emotionally wasn't ready. We made the mutual decision to wait, and much of it stemmed from me talking to him, telling him I wanted to be as healthy as possible, and he understood that. Tell him you want to completely heal, and get a good level of vitamins in your system to give the next one a good a shot as you can. Start taking prenatals NOW. Take folic acid NOW. Eat healthy, exercise, rest. I gave it 3 months, and got pregnant the following March. I'm so glad I waited...did everything I just described, and gave birth to my son the following November (he was due on my miscarriage date, born a week later). He is 19 months now. So tell him straight up you need more time, and you want to do those things so the next time is the best attempt it can be. And don't stress if you can...I was terrified my whole second pregnancy, but it is VERY common to miscarry on your first attempt, my doctor said it is like the body is revving up to accomplish what it needs to. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I wish you the best of luck when you are ready to try again! Sorry I rambled. hehe

 

austin-our-sweet-angle - August 1

hi ACROLEY84 your husband will understand you need more time and your body and mind will tell when it time for you.you just lost a baby .

 

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