My Little Aralynn My Little Angel

8 Replies
Christi - December 17

I was right at 28 weeks when I went for my regular appointment and found that my baby girl had diesd inside of me. At that moment, a part of me died... every little memory went rushing through me, from the day I found out I was pregnant, to all the nights me and my fiance' Mike stayed awake in bed planning our future, talking about what the baby would look like, birthday parties, things we wanted to teach her, and so on. I was histerical the rest of the day. The doctor told me to go home and decided whether I wanted to go ahead and carry her full term and let nature take its course, or to go ahead and induce labor. I opted to induce, couldnt image carrying a lifeless body inside me for another 3 months. On Dec. 14th I was admitted. They started off on one induction pill that you take orally every 6 hours... I had MINOR contractions... after 1 day of not much progress, they decided to try the same medication va___ally... every 4 hours... still, after another day... nothing. On the 16th they decided to try a different pill... which completely took effect within a couple of hours... the epidoral didnt take... I was in so much pain. I screamed and screamed... no relief. My Mike stood beside me crying, wishing he coukd take my pain. I gave birth very easily... not painless by no means, but when she started coming, one push, she was out. Mike asked to cut the umbilical cord... they took the baby, cleaned her up, dressed her in the clothes we had bought... and I held my daughter, my little Aralynn Denise Murray. She was beautiful. Had her daddy's lips and my nose. The whole family held her. I had so many people in my hospital room... SOOOO many.... everyone held her. It was emotional, but beautiful. Everyone was touched by her. Hours after the delivery... we were told we could leave if I was up to it... we packed everything up... they gave me footprints, handprints, pictures, the blanket she was wrapped in, and the angel that hung on the door. My family took alot of pictures of us all holding Aralynn. Helps with the closure. Still... no rhyme or reason was given to me about her death, there was a kink in the umbilical cord, but they think that maye that could have happened in the delivery process too. They are doing a autoposy... I actually didnt want one... but its the law...so there will be one done, I'll find out in about 8 weeks what happened exactly. I know what happened, God sent me this baby... my miracle Aralynn... her purpose to bring my family and Mike's family together... strengthen our bonds, helped Mike and I in so many ways... not only with our bond with each other but with our faith in God and strengthen ourselves. I've watched so many people in my entire pregancy get effected emotionally. A little miracle... my little miracle. Shes in heaven now... doesnt have to witness the horrible things in this world... went straight to heaven. In the arms of my pawpaw. I want to help people who have lossed. If anything, this has given me the inspiration to help parents who are experiencing the same... and to encourage those who are scared. I think I found my purpose... because my Aralynn inspired me to. Anyone with any questions... I'll be here.

 

Melissa - December 17

I am really in tears right now. I am so so sorry. I also suffered a miscarriage. I was almost 9 weeks, and I too was hysterical for two days straight. My only consolation was that I didn't have to go through what you went through. My heart truly aches for you and Mike too. Hopefully all of our missed babies are in a special place together playing in heavan like the children they are meant to be. I hope you and Mike try again. As soon as it is physically safe for us to do so, we are going to try again as well. The best of luck and the best of wishes for as many children as you want to have in the future. Please try to have a happy holiday as hard as it might be. The good thing we have to remember is that we are still here, able to try again and that we now have someone on the other side pulling for us!!!

 

to Chrisis - December 17

That is absolutely heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for you & your family & your little angel Aralynn. I followed your posts through that one "March mothers" thread in the third trimester forum. That really scares me since I thought that after a certain amount of time, a woman is safe from that kind of thing. I guess you never know until you know. My baby boy is active & healthy now in week 22... & I was feeling almost complacent until I read your story. I know you advise (quite kindly & selflessly) to not be scared, but I can't help it. I'm already worried (like parents tend to be) about everything else. I'll probably be scared for him for the first 30 years of his life, but no time more than now! I pray for you & your loved ones. Take care.

 

angel - December 17

to christ i am so sorry i lost my baby girl angel last year on oct 5 2004 :( i still miss her so much it hurts and i cry over her but i know she lives in heaven and is happy and i know ill see her someday so i take comfort in that. my email is [email protected] if you ever need to talk i know how hard it is i know how much it hurts im here for you and everything will be ok :) god bless

 

meg - December 18

Christi-I am so sorry for your loss. I actually read your post yest, but had to give my self some time to post after reading it b/c it mad me cry so badly. I know how you feel and what you are going through. I have had 2 miscarriages and it is such are hard thing to cope with. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. It is great that you want to help other and give supposrt. I will pray for you and your family and hope that you will be feeling better. Take care and thanks for sharing your story with us.

 

Lilu - December 18

Christi, I admore your stremgth so much. I lost my Sophie on August 11 at 34 1/2 weeks. I too had the same believes as you and couldn't believe how much closer it brought me and my husband together. My epidural didn't work either. I felt everything. I couldn't understand why the doctor didn't make me as comfortable as possible considering it wouldn't effect my daughter. Again, you're not alone and we're here if you need someone to talk to. Again... I really admore your outlook and stay strong. I'm sorry for the loss of your ;ittle angel, Aralynn.

 

Charlene - December 19

Christi, I admire your strength. I am sorry for your loss. She definitely gave you so much, cherish it. I did have a hard time reading your story..it was so touching....so sad. We pray that God will give you the strength to gte through this rough period and that in time, you will have another precious, healthy baby to hold. God Bless

 

K - December 21

Christi, My story is similar to yours except our little girl, Halle Kaitlynn Hope, died 7 hours after she was born. Was an infection in the end. Halle brought us total joy and showed us there was another level of loving that we did'nt know beforet. My story is at 'lost our little gir' so if you want to read it, its there. Halle to made me want to help anyone going through this type of loss so I keep checking this site and try and chat where I can. So, I just wanted to say that it does get easier to bear in time. Its been a month now exactly since we lost Halle and though its not easy, still painful and desparate, sometimes its bearable and manageable and I can see hope in the future. No matter what the pain, I could never wish it wasn't here because I don't regret her. I hope you feel that way too someday. Hold onto each other, you'll never need him more. Sending compa__sion and support to you and your dh. xx

 

Tara - December 22

Hi Christi, I am so sorry. I read your posts on March mommies and it sounds similar to mine, so excited about the baby and then you get horrible news. I lost my little angel on November 26 and had to be induced, but my story is a little different. My little baby girl had Turners Syndrome and had fetal hydrops and cystic hygroma and I was told there was no chance of survival and if I continue to carry her I would risk my life as well due to the toxins in the placenta entering my blood system. I was induced into labour and had lots of family support and we held our daughter Treya and did the finger and foot prints, pictures. I could hear other women giving birth on the labour and delivery floor and how exciting that must have been for them.Christmas is going to be so hard, I just my little girl and future dreams back. I wake up everyday and theres nothing to look forward to right now. I want to try to have another, but right now I really just want Treya, so I have to wait until I feel that I can accept what has happened. I was on the second Trimester board when this happened and its hard to go back and read about some of the ladies that are pregnant because I feel like I should be one of them still. I think thats wonderful you and your husband have faith. I had our pastor bless our daughter and have been doing counselling with him and that has really helped. Im always here to talk. Praying for healing for all of us and future healthy babies .

 

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