Need Info On Miscarriage Please Help

10 Replies
Lala - July 8

1.Is it possible to have a miscarriage and not know it? 2.Is a miscarriage always accompanied with pain and or severe cramps? 3.Can you have a miscarriage without any heavy(period-like)(red not brown) bleeding? 4.Can stress or depression cause a miscarriage or highten its chances? 5.Do you lose all pregnancy symptoms during a miscarriage? 6.Can you pass tissue and not know it? 7.Is an empty sac a definite sign of a miscarriage(and at how many weeks is it definite)? 8.Can a miscarriage be mis-diagonosed? I really need to know the answers to these questions?Please help me with your knowledge and/or experiences? Thank You~

 

Alison - July 8

1) You can have a "silent miscarriage" when the baby dies but your body doesn't start to physically miscarry yet so you are unaware. The first time I miscarried I had a speck of blood as the only sign before I was scanned. My second loss there was lots of brown dishcarge which was a clear sign something was wrong. The third time there were no signs whatsoever until I had my first scan. A woman will know when her body starts to physically miscarry though as the baby & pregnancy tissue will leave her and she will bleed. 2) Yes as I said in my first loss there was a tiny speck of blood (barely noticable) and the third time absolutely nothing. Quite often your body hasn't got the message yet that the pregnancy has failed and hasn't started the physical process yet. 4) There is alot of speculation on the role of stress in miscarriage, but from the research I've done stress is usually only a factor in premature birth or inabliity to conceive in the first place. A miscarriage is almost certainly because of a chance chromosonal error when the baby is formed, or in the case of resurrent miscarriages it can be a medical problem or genetic disorder. If a woman miscarries it is not her doing or what she has done or how stressed she is it is more complex than that as far as I am aware. Usually as I said it's a chance chromosonal mix-up when the baby is being formed when it is a one off miscarriage or even with 2. 6) A woman would likely know if she pa__sed tissue as it normally comes out in lumps/clots. She will know when she pa__ses the sac. When she at the stage of pa__sing things she would likely have pains/cramps but everyone is different and the amount of pain/dicomfort varies 7) An empty sac at 5-6 wks may just be it is too soon to see much. After 8 or 9 weeks there should be a visible baby there and a heartbeat though some women have a litled uterus so can't see things as well. They will test hormone levels too if there is an empty sac. When I had a blighted ovum (2nd loss) there was still an empty sac (no baby or yolk sac) at 8 1/2 wks, no heartbeat being picked up and my hormones were not rising in over a week so was pretty clear-cut for me. I was scanned a few times to make sure over a couple of wks. 8) I'm not sure about a miscarriage being misdiagnosed. usually it's pretty obvious though there can be occasions when it's not 100% certain but usually in those cases they will wait and scan again until they are 100% sure. I already mentioned my 2nd loss, well the 1st time the baby was only measuring 7 wks 3 days when I was 9 wks along, we could see them clearly on the scan but there was no heartbeat and they were completely still and lifeless. The third time the pregnancy sac measured the correct age of 10 wks but the baby only measured 7 wks 5 days so that was clearly not right they would be the same age. Also no heartbeat to pick up and the baby was again still and lifeless. Sometimes there can be a discrepency in the size of the baby if the woman has calculated wrongly how far on she is. In my cases this wasn't a possibiilty because of the other factors but I know sometimes it can be a factor if the dates are wrong. Most women who have a miscarriage go on to have a healthy baby next time. Even after 2 losses. Only 1% of women (including myself) will have 3 in a row it is very rare. I hope that helps a bit of course it is only from my experience I'm not an expert. From what we have been told at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic there is just not enough research or knowledge in the area of miscarriage and it still not understood well enough. What is your situation? Are you worried about a miscarriage? What has been happening with you? Oh, also some women have a threatened miscarriage-this is when they bleed but the pregnancy continues with no problems. It can happen sometimes. Take care I hope you are ok. xxx

 

Lala - July 8

1. It is possible to have a missed miscarrage. I would go to the doc if you suspect something is wrong. 2. When I lost my baby in April I had no cramping only mild spotting. Spotting is normal in the first term. So if you are spotting do not be frightened. 3. yes you can but you usually have some spotting before. 4. I'm not sure about stress. 5. You only loose pg symptoms if your hcg level decreases. 6. If you pa__s tissue you will know it 7. An empt sac can mean several things. A. You are not as far along as you think you are. The sonogram can only pick up a fetus at around 6 weeks. B. You have a blight ovum ( the placenta grew but the baby never did) C. Yes Doctors are not always full proof. - - - Please do not be scared. If you are not showing any signs of a mc there is still hope. Go to a different doctor. My doctor asked me to have a D&C since my hcg levels were very low he suspected a blight ovum. I requested a sonogram. Reluctantly he did one and found a healthy 7 week embyro. I mc the next day due to attachment problems (which is what caused the low levels) I later found out progesterone could have saved the baby. Needless to say I probably will not be going back to that doctor. So don't rely on one doc diagnosis. Maybe you are only 4 to 5 weeks and this is why you have an empty sac. Good luck. I will keep you in my prayers tonight.

 

EM - July 9

I think that is terrible that a doctor would order a D&C without doing a scan first-frightening to think they will do that! However even if you were given progesterone at that point it would not have saved your baby the problem was already happening and too progressed for a dose of progesterone to stop what was happening. Even taking it from conception is disputed alot by medical studies as to whether it actually has any impact on the state of the pregnancy. I read one doctor's reserch that low preogesterone is a symptom of miscarriage not a cause. I am so sorry for what you have been through, I so think you are right to see a different doctor in the future.

 

Alison - July 9

Lala are you ok? What is happning with you? To second Lala & EM:I found this info on progesterone. From what I can see there's alot of controversy surrounding it's success. I have heard if a woman has low levels she will miscarry at around 4 weeks because the egg will not manage to implant without the appropriate levels. Usually the woman has irregular periods to as progesterone brings on your periods. Anyway I had a look to see what I could find and I thought this was quite interesting: "Progesterone.The hormone progesterone helps to build the lining of the woman's uterus for the fertilised egg to implant into. Pregnant women have about 10 times more progesterone in their blood during pregnancy (compared to when they are not pregnant). Progesterone levels slowly increase as the pregnancy progresses. Low levels are known to be a physical sign of miscarriage during the first 12 weeks. It used to be thought that a lack of progesterone may be a cause of miscarriage. However, it is now believed that low progesterone levels are simply the body's normal response to the inevitable loss of a pregnancy (meaning that treatments with progesterone are of no benefit). Many studies have been carried out looking at the administration of progesterone hormone (or synthetic forms of progestogens) to women during early pregnancy, with the aim of preventing further miscarriages. Some companies also promote natural progesterone products and creams. Research so far has not been able to show any real benefits for taking progestogens to prevent miscarriage. Until recently, some studies suggested links with the use of progesterone during the first 6 to 8 weeks of pregnancy and the baby developing physical abnormalities involving their genitals, stomach and gullet, heart and brain. However, this is now not believed to be the case, although we are not 100% certain." If only there were more clear cut answers and more research so we could know for sure why these miscarriages happen and how we can treat them and know it will work. My Dh and I have just started tests after our 3rd loss in a row. I really pray they can find us some answers. Again I am so sorry for your losses. As EM said that is so terrible a doctor not scanning before schuduling a D&C. You always need to scan to check I would have thought-that must have been such an awful experience I'm so sorry xxx

 

Lala - July 10

Thank you all for your help. Unfortunately I did have a miscarriage. I had a D&C yesterday. And I just want to say to everyone out there who's miscarried whether the pregnancy was planned or not(mine was unplanned)that I feel your pain. I never understood until now how much this could hurt. Right now I'm still grieving and I don't know what to do. How do I cope with this loss. I wrote a poem to my baby to let my feelings out but I still need closure. I fear that I'll never truly get over this horrible experience until I actually do get pregnant again and have all the evidence that the pregnancy is going well. Please help me with this, no one seems to truly understand. I was so excited about my pregnancy. I will be perfectly honest and say that it was definitely unplanned being that I'm only 19 and unmarried. But I'm with someone I love and we were gonna have a family and make it work. I never got to hold my baby. Now I feel so incomplete, I lost something that was apart of me physically and emotionally. I love this board because there are so many women that understand your pain. The pain that you family, friends, even partner don't seem to understand. Everyone keeps telling me that it happened for a reason but how does telling me that help? That only makes me feel hopeless, hopeless of finding the true reason. I'll never truly know why this happened, but it did and now I have to cope with it the best way I know how. I only hope that this brings me closer to the one I love and when ready, we can try again, but only when ready. I kept hoping the doctor was wrong when he told me I would probably miscarry. But I was in denial. The day after he told me I had the worst cramps in my entire life and started bleeding very heavily. Then it hit me, this is really happening and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't take a pill to make it stop and save my baby. Miscarriage is unpredictable and inevitable. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced this in the past or (like me)now. I esp. feel for those who have experienced it more than once. I wish you all luck in the future to have a successful and healthy pregnancy. Pregnancy is a blessing. Although this has happened, I feel blessed to even have the ability to become pregnant. ~Thank you

 

Alison - July 10

Lala I am so very sorry that you have lost your baby. As you so rightly say whether a child is planned or not, the pain is the same. All our miscarriages were pregnancies which were planned, but I am sure I would grieve just the same if they hadn't been. A lost baby is a lost baby at the end of the day and it is a terrible thing. Reading your post I felt alot of it was me writing- your words are so familiar to how I feel. I recently miscarried for the third time in a row (no children) and know only too well the pain and devastation it brings. I too have written letters to our babies, we named them too which I felt gave them some ident_ty. I made up a memory box which has momentoes of our babies in it and I bought a special pendant of booties to wear in memory of them. Some women plant a rose bush in memory or name a star.The closure thing is so hard as there is no funeral as there is with a still-birth and "saying goodbye is so hard when you haven't had the chance to say hello" ( to quote another post I read recently ) In my town the crematorium holds a quaterly service for all miscarried babies. I have found that going to the service helps provide some sense of closure. I know what you mean about being in denial-you tell youself they're wrong it can't be happening. Even after miscarrying I find myself thinking it can't be true and being in denial (crazy huh) but I guess that's what grief does sometimes. I wish no one had to go through this experience. And as you say others can't relate unless they've been there. Often people say things trying to help and it really doesn't! Things like "Maybe it was for the best" or "Well you're still young.." or "God knew they'd be better off with Him" are hard to take. They may have only lived a short time but they were and always will be your baby-you will always be their mummy even though they're gone. I know I will always love my lost babies and think about them all the time. Most women who miscarry go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time and that is what I pray for you. Also that when you do conceive again that those first weeks will pa__s quickly as I know they are anxious weeks when you've had a loss. I am in the minority unfortunately-1% of women miscarry 3 times in a row. So my Dh & I have started tests to look for a reason (although more often than not they can't find what it is) Again I'm so sorry for your loss-reading your post just made me feel for you so much. I wish you lots of happiness in the future and continuing strength through these coming weeks and months. Take care xxx

 

Lala - July 16

Thank you Alison for your sweet words. I am very sorry about your losses. I wish you the very best of luck in the future.

 

jessie - July 17

Hi lala. I read your post from the tenth and I could have written it. I had a miscarriage in April. My boyfriend and I are not married (yet) and it was an unplanned pregnancy too .We both had planned on getting married and having children with each other and we were a little caught off guard when I became pregnant, the timing wasn't what we had in mind. BUT that pregnancy became the best thing I had ever done. We were so happy and quickly changed our lives to start our family. At about 7 weeks I noticed spotting and thought nothing about it; knowning it was normal from the books I was reading. After five days I was hysterical and just knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor and there was a sac but no baby. I would have to wait a week to know for sure but I was begining a miscarriage. The next day my boyfriend's sister-in-law announced she was PG. I am happy for them but the timing was awful. Two couples in the family one announcing a baby; the other announcing the loss of a baby in the same week.

 

jessie - July 17

sorry I accidentally submitted the last post before I had proofread it or finished it. lol. anyway... I completely understand how you feel when people say that "everything happens for a reason." That statement makes me want to scream. If I hear it one more time... I don't know what I will do. I just want people to say "I am so sorry that you lost your baby. I can't imagine what that must feel like." If it is of any help, this has brought my boyfriend and I very close and an incredibly strong bond has formed. We talk a lot about our future. His mother had a miscarriage before he was born and she has been absolutley dear to me. She has understood where I am coming from, where I am, what to say to me, what to say to him. If anything good had to come out of a awful situation it has been those two things. I am still saddened when I see pregnant women, it is better but not gone. Two nights ago at a family dinner my (future) sister in law laughed to me about how much she would like to have a beer instead of the water she was drinking!!! I just want to scream at her, "I will trade you anything to be having a baby!" She doesn't mean to hurt my feelings, I am sure she just isn't thinking about how that would make me feel. She is starting to show now and I can't help but think about where I would be in comparison. The only thing that comforts me is hearing other women's stories. I know that I will be a mother some day but I will never forget my first pregnancy. I hope you are well. Or getting there. My thoughts are with you and every grieving mother out there.

 

Autumn - August 5

The other day I had really bad cramps with lower back pains no bleeding or spotting. They eventually went away and yesterday I had nausea. Today my nausea is better and I'm paranoid that something could have been wrong.Is that normal?

 

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