Need Some Hope

3 Replies
serena - March 1

Hi!!I had a stillbirth in september at 29 weeks due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around my sons neck.And, when you think things are just starting to get better i just had a miscarriage.I was early on.But it still hurts the same.I'm soooooo angry and so sad.I feel so incomplete.I keep trying to hold on to some hope but it's hard.My dr.said it's not my fault or anything i did but after losing this one how do i believe that.I feel like the walls are just caving in and i can't breathe.Anyone out there had a stillbirth and a miscarriage and found light at the end of the tunnel please let me know.I feel so lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Kim L - March 1

Serena: I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I have not ever had a stillbirth, how terrible. I have had two miscarriages and I at least know what that part feels like. It is so very scary to have no answers and only your doctor's suggestion to try again when you're ready. I can tell you that your doc is right that it is not your fault - most miscarriages happen as the result of a chromosome error. Just a random mismatch that happens in nature all too frequently. It doesn't make it easier to weather the loss, but I hope it gives you some hope that you have a good chance of a successful pregnancy next time. After 2 miscarriages my confidence of ever carrying to term was almost totally shattered. But now I'm pregnant again, 9 weeks, and this is the farthest we've ever gotten with no problems. I know there are no guarantees - but each new life growing has brought me new hope, and i hope it does the same for you. I know it's not always easy to hang on to hope, and it's okay when you hit those times that you're just only able to be sad and angry. That's just part of it. You are so normal. I wish you all the success in the world when and if you do decide to try again. Take care.

 

onetwothree - March 1

Serena, I had a stillbirth at 36 weeks due to an umbilical cord accident. When I did get pregnant again, it was a blighted ovum and I needed a d&c. That pregnancy was unplanned but it ignited a fire under us to start trying and we got pregnant only to have a chemical pregnancy. I started thinking that another child just wasn't in the cards even though we kept trying. The month after my chemical pregnancy, I got pregnant. 14 weeks laters, we found out during an u/s that it was twins. I now have twin 2 years olds taking a nap while I write this. There could be something wonderful for you just waiting around the corner. You just can't see it yet. Don't give up.

 

Tara S - March 1

Hi, I am so sorry. I feel the same as you. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June 2005 and then got pregnant right away and gave birth to an 18 week 5day old tiny baby girl who pa__sed during the delivery in November 2005. Two losses in less then a year is so hard. My second loss was due to chromosome abnormality called Turners Syndrome. Somedays I want to try again and others I just want to give up. Im so scared of becoming pregnant again for the fear of having another sweet little one go to heaven. I joined a wonderful support group in my city for parents who have lost babies and it has really helped me grieve for my two angels. I have met women who have been through numerous losses and a lot have gone on to have more children, but its something you never fully recover from. I sure hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Take care and lots of prayers!

 

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