Need Someone To Talk Too

18 Replies
EMMA - March 7

I had a miscarriage on friday, i had some brown discharge a week ago and it got worse everyday then turned to bleeding i went to A&E on thursday and had a smear done then was told to come back for an internal scan the next day. i was 14 weeks pregnant and on the scan it showed the baby stoped growing at 5-6 weeks they booked me in for a D&C the next day, cause i was bleeding they kept me in hospital for the night i ended up having a miscarriage instead of the d&c which was horrible! in hospital from when i found out my baby had died i felt numb, now im at home i have this terrible feeling inside me all the time, i feel alone, guilty, sick to my stomach, scared confused there is just so much pain inside me......i could cope with the physical pain but the mental pain is unbearable.....everytime time someone says something to me my eyes feel up and i cry, how long will this last..............someone please reply i need to here from some who has gone through this.

 

stacey - March 7

I went through the same thing- I was about 8 weks, the baby had a low heartbeat, next ultrasound no heartbeat- bay had stopped growing around 6 weeks. I did have a d&e next day- which was easier for methan to sit and wait for it to happen. What helped me alot was this forum, talkign to people about it (you won't believe how many people you know that actually had one too), and putting together a memory box for the baby. Good luck, it does get easier, but take the time to grieve for it! Your body needs time too! SORRY for your loss :(

 

brandi - March 7

hi,again.my m/c was like yours.i started to spot a little at 12wks.everyday i spotted more and more.i started to cramp finally and went to er.they did a transv____al ultrasound and found out it died at 8-9 wks.i didnt have a d/c but im sure it aa came out.i saw what it looked like.i didnt want to throw it away like it was trash but i did.the babys soul went to heaven.i like to a__sume.i always think about how far along i would be and everything .the only way i can try to get over it is to get pregnant again and have a healthy baby.

 

NEED SUM1 2 TALK TO - March 8

I am 17 years old and 5 months ago when I was 16 I had a miscariage. I was 2 months pregnant. No1 understood the pain I went through and still am. They all just a__sumed that because I was only 16 and didnt plan the pregnancy that it was for the best, 'a blessing in disguise' they called it. They all a__sumed that I would be happy about the miscarriage because I was quite confused about being pregnant. 5 months on and I still cry, I have no1 to talk 2 no1 understands. I feel as if I am not allowed 2 feel sad, and showing my feelings makes me feel like im being pathetic and stupid. I know a girl who got pregnant at the same time as me and her pregnancy is going well. When im around Her and everyone else, they don't realise that im sad about my loss and always talk about her pregnancy in front of me. They feel her bump in front of me and show the scan pictures, they did this just 2 weeks after I lost my baby.I was there when she announced she was having a boy, I wanted to cry. So many reminders, I dont know what to do. I dont know whether to try for a baby, I want to but I know no1 would understand. I dont know whether its even the right thing to do, or im thinking like this because im still grieving. I cant think of any disadvantages with having a baby, I would be so happy to hear that news. I need help please give me advice.

 

Alison - March 8

I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. I have been through 2 miscarriages and am now trying again after the second (which was in December) I can relate to everything you said about the pain and the crying. For ages I would cry at the drop of a hat and still now there are moments when the tears start to flow. We have several friends who have been having babies throughout my miscarriages and endless stays/trips in hospital which has made it even harder. Now that we are trying again I have something to focus on and I have to say I cope day to day much better than I did, but there are still "moments" as I call them, don't be hard on yourself if you are the same I don't think the pain and loss ever actually go we just learn to live on despite it and hope for better things to come. We know lots of people who have had 1 miscarriage then gone on to have a healthy baby-it's amazing when you share with people you know how many there are who have been though the same thing and can be a support. I pray that you will get stronger each day and get all the care and support you need and that you'll be able to feel hope for the future for that lovely baby that I'm sure will come along soon. I know I'll always remember my lost babies and miss them even when we do have our much longed-for baby. Take care...

 

chriss - March 8

Hi ladies. I am new to this board. I was originally in the "signs of pregnancy" discussion. I had a miscarriage over the weekend. My husband and I have been ttc for seven months now (our first baby) and finally we had the positive test. I tested positive on Friday and on Saturday, started to have spotting and it just got a little heavier as the day went on. I tested again on Sat night and the second line was barely there. I took yet one more test on Monday and no line at all. I went to my Dr.'s office yesterday and he just took another pregnancy tes, which I am still awaiting the result oft! So now, I don't even know if it was actually a m/c. Although I'm pretty sure. I wasn't very far along only 5 weeks, probably wouldn't have even realized that I had a m/c if we weren't ttc, but still I am so sad and angry. My husband just says "there, there, we will try again next month" My heart goes out to all of you who've had to go through this! Huggs to you all!!!

 

stacey - March 8

chriss- sorry

 

EMMA - March 9

Thanx everyone for answering, before i had miscarriage i didnt want to look up about miscarriages encase it brought bad luck now i have had 1 its all im looking at,its now been 4 days since the miscarriage and i cant sleep a wink at night keep having really bad dreams and wake up crying......i really want to try again for baby soon but am going to be a nervous reck the next time im pregnant, i dont no what to do!!!

 

mulgajill - March 9

Need sum1 to talk too... miscarriage is horrible at any age, and even if you were not so young and didn't get the "probably for the best" comments... there is not much sympathy out there... i am at the other end of the scale and got the "probably for the best" comments too after my last m/c ... why would i want a baby at 43? For god's sake people as SO BLOODY INSENSITIVE. Anyway there are lots of people HERE to talk to and it is by far better than nothing. :-)

 

brandi - March 9

My husband thinks im crazy b/c m/c is all i ever talk about.Im trying to get pregnant again.i am also going to be a nervous wreck if I do.My m/c was my 2nd time being pregnant and i never even considered that I was gonna have a m/c .My first pregnancy was a breeze.I so want to have another baby more than ever.Some PEOPLE DONT TAKE ME serious b/c ihave a 17 month old son.I dont care though after I HAD A M/C I REALLY WANNA BABY.Sorry to everyone who had a m/c.good luck to trying again whenever you do

 

Heather - March 9

I had a miscarriage on friday as well. Started spotting Thursday night and by Saturday EVERYTHING had pa__sed. No need for a d&c. Have a blood test tomorrow to check hcg lvls to make sure it's gone. I am so sorry for your loss. I was only 9 weeks but it is still painful. This board and others like it are a HUGE comfort... DH has been great but he doesn't know what it "really" feels like emotionally and physically. You go through so many physical and emotional changes when you get pg and then another set of both physical and emotional when you loose that baby. Good luck to you! *~*~*~*~*~ baby dust to you.

 

Nik - March 14

Hi Emma! I really feel your pain. I have had 2 miscarriages. The second one on Feb 14th. I am very fortunate to have had 3 children in between the Mc's. It never gets any easier. Everything you are feeling is totally normal, but you will heal but never forget your baby. My doctor gave me this great book called "I'll HOLD YOU IN HEAVEN" by Jack Hayford. It's a Christian based book which answered several questions I've always wondered like... "Did my baby have a soul at 8wks?" "Will I see my baby in heaven?" Will I recognize my baby in heaven" etc. I found the book very comforting. It deals with miscarriages, stillbirths and even abortions. Perhaps this little book would give you solace as it has me. I am very sorry for your loss.

 

Ellen - March 15

I just had a miscarriage a week and a half ago. I was 5 weeks. It was devestating to me. I was angry, sad, and withdrawn. I can relate to you as I am okay until someone who knew or found out says, "I'm sorry" - then that's it. I start to cry. I believe that is normal. We have to cry. We have to grieve our losses in life. My husband and I wanted this baby and were so excited - it was to be our first. We had only known for one week. So much - so many dreams and future plans go into motion when you find out you are pregnant. I was so thrilled that I was finally going to be a mom (I'm 37). I was so happy that I was going to be able to quit my job and be a full time homemaker. And just like that - all those dreams go up in smoke. I feel better about it now though and have every confidence I will get pregnant again. Without hope, what is there? I would encourage you to just keep talking about your loss. Don't withdraw. Live through the grief and embrace it and know that it's necessary and know that there are so many others of us out here who can identify with your pain first hand.

 

mulgajill - March 15

hey chriss... hope you are going well and feeling a bit more hopeful.... it is SO depressing to get the positive test then have 'late period', which is in fact early miscarriage... i am there with you (had the same thing this past week)... and this happens a lot, as you said, if you hadn't been activley following your signs you would just have thought you had a late period and be in ignorance... however it is very common thing to happen... i have read between 25%-50% of pregnancies end at this early stage, hope you ttc again this month... on the brighter side, at least you know those 'pregnancy signs' were not imagination by having early preg test and you are ovulating and conceiving.... good luck this time round :-)

 

Liza - March 15

I so feel the same, I suffered my miscarriage on Sunday...when I was at the hospital there was a lady there in ER going through same thing....they had me do a D&C very next day...I didnt want to wait...the worst was when I woke from D&C I was crying...I had no physical pain from m/c, but as you are feeling, everytime I read an email from someone or have a second to myself to think I start crying I think I have a headache from crying so much...I feel like it was my fault, that I did something, took medicine I shouldnt have, got to stressed, who know's...it's comforting to know (which I never realized) how many people have gone through this at the hospital yesterday every nurse I ran in to had either it happen to them or a family member. I'm thinking of naming a star after my baby...I think you can do it through the International Star Registry...maybe that will help me...It just makes me sad because my whole life I have wanted a baby, I love children and I just can't believe on my first try that I lost the baby...my husband has been great he has been home but is going to work tonight and wont be back for 1 1/2 days and I'm afraid to be alone...cause I wonder if it will give me too much time to think...I probably wont go to work for a few more days I don't think I could handle it right now...especially since I work for an acctg. firm...its horrible though cause i know theyre busy but it would be physically and mentally way to much for me to handle right now...anyone who wants to email me [email protected]

 

Kat - March 17

Hi~ I also had a miscarriage this past weekend. As I mentioned on another post, maybe some of us should stay in contact and try to help each other through this difficult time. We could also share our ideas on how to physically heal and be in the best shape possible before trying again. I think part of the difficulty of a m/c is that we really should wait before trying and 3 cycles seems like an eternity right now. But maybe if we stay in contact we can each other through what, rationally, is a short amount of time. (Hard to think rationally, isn't it?!) Okay - maybe I will start a new one under this miscarriage forum and if anyone wants to "talk" there - let's do it. I will call it "Let's Get Through this Together" :)

 

Kat - March 17

I can't seem to submit a question right now - it won't send it through. Will keep trying to get "Let's Get Through this Together" started up. (Please read my previous post to know what I am talking about).

 

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