No Heartbeat At 8 Weeks

9 Replies
Michelle - September 2

I was 8 weeks and 3 days when Dr. told me that I miscarried the baby. There was no hearbeat(through v/u). But baby mesured at the right size.Dr offerd the DC the next morning. I still had all the pregnancy syptoms. This was my first mc. After DC I found out the misdiagnosed mc sites and I am devastated, Do you think there was a chance that baby was still alive? sad mom

 

Alison - September 2

Michelle I am so very sorry-I know how it feels to worry afterwards that somehow the doctors were wrong-it's only natural as we wanted our babies so very much. I didn't see your scan so can't comment on what the doctor saw, but I would imagine he/she would not have told you that unless they were sure. At 8 weeks a heartbeat should be detectable by ultrasound. I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage and 2 of those times I was scanned at 9-10 weeks and found the baby measured 7 1/2 weeks with no heartbeat. Because the baby was so clearly visable a heartbeat would have been too had they been alive. I imagine you're finding it hard because your baby measured the correct size-but they must have pa__sed away just before your scan-I am so sorry. I have read of women who have had scans and seen a heartbeat then been scanned just days later to find there was no heartbeat and their baby had died in those few days. You said you had a v____al ultrasound. With that type of ultrasound a heartbeat is even more easy to pick up if it is there. When we found our first baby had died I was given a v____al ultrasound as well as a normal one to make sure. The doctor will have done that to be absolutely sure there was no heartbeat. Regarding pregnancy symptoms I have had those with all my pregnancies. The placanta tissue produces pregnancy hormones, and even after the pregnancy fails the hormones take time to go back down. That can be very hard. I remember having morning sickness just after I miscarried the third time. It just makes it even harder and I pray your symptoms will go soon as it is not nice. I do very much sympathise with how you're feeling just now-but I do feel your doctor would not confrim your miscarriage unless they were absolutely sure-again I am so sorry and my thoughts are with you. Take care xxx

 

Q - September 2

I don't think that there was a chance that your baby was still alive. I'm so sorry for your loss and heartache. I saw a heartbeat with my second pregnancy/ miscarriage but then didn't see one a few weeks later. It was so obvious when I saw the heartbeat the first time, pulsing and very obvious. I was devastated when I had the second ultrasound a few weeks later because I saw right away there was no heartbeat at all. I didn't even need the technician to tell me. I've read some of those sites you've mentioned, and it seems most of the stories were about women who had ultrasounds too early. But I know it's hard. I wish you the best

 

Michelle - September 3

Alison and Q...Thank you very much for your support. I am heartbroken. I think every child should be wanted and loved from the creation. I wasn't really happy when I knew I was expecting. I had a bad morning sickness and then followed a huge moving, a lot of anxiety and all the negative things surrounded me as if it had been planned. I was physically and emotionally very depressed. But I never wanted my baby leave me like that. I feel so guilty and so lonely. I cried and cried and I am still crying. I am so sorry that I didn't give my baby happy memories to take with. Now I am praying that my little angle forgives me and knows that I loved him/her and I will always love him/her until we meet again. I have 2 children but now I imagine a child playing and laughing with them. It makes my heart broken whenever I look at my children. I pray God gives me the answer why it happend to me... with love, Michelle

 

Alison - September 3

Michelle I am so sorry for the anguish you are experiencing because you were apprehensive about your pregnancy at first. This does not mean you didn't care for your baby and you are certainly not to blame in any way for what has happened. Very sadly 1 in every 5 pregnancies miscarries. Some figures estimate as many as 1 in 4. Although sometimes a woman will miscarry more than once (such as myself) and sometimes there are medical reasons/conditions which cause the loss, the majority of miscarriages is a random chromosonal error that occured while the baby was being conceived. The whole procedure of the conception and creation of a new baby is extrememly complicated and so many things can go wrong as the cells are dividing and chromosones coming together-it is no wonder really that often it goes wrong. It is a very sad fact though and as someone who has had 3 losses I can relate to how heartbreaking it it. The fact that is is common certainly does not help when we are grieving for our lost baby. Many women become pregnant and don't feel thrilled at first but it does not mean they don't love their baby. They maybe are just in shock and need time to take in waht is happening, and once they do they are pleased! Feeling unsure about being pregnant does not harm your baby (just as being pleased about being pregnant does not mean your baby will be ok) And your baby will not have been aware of your apprehension in the slightest. I believe our babies are in heaven-but I don't feel your baby has any need to forgive you as you did not do anything wrong to them. I am sure they know that despite everything you did not wish to lose them and that they were indeed loved. I imagine it must be hard to see your children and know there would have been another little one joining them soon. Sometimes people seem to feel that women who miscarry don't experience the same loss if they already have children but I don't feel this is true. Your loss is the same as someone like me who has no children yet. you are ent_tled to grieve. Your previous feelings and anxiety do not take away that right so please grieve for your lost baby. Give them a name if that helps (we have named our miscarried babies) maybe write them a letter saying all the things you wish to say to them that sometimes can help. ( I have done that too!) If you do decide to try again I pray you will conceive a healthy baby, but give yourself some time to recover so you know what you really want to do. I wish you continuing healing and strength. This will take time-go easy on yourself please don't punish yourself. This was not your fault-this was something tragic that happens to many of us and is part of what makes human life so fragile and precious. Take care and lots of ((hugs)) xxx

 

Amy - September 29

I just found out this past Friday that I miscarried - we were so excited to expect our 2nd child (we have a 6 year old) At 7 weeks and 2 days we saw a heart beat via belly ultrasound but at 9 weeks there was no heartbeat - we were devistated and still are - after much soul searching we can try again. the Dr. told us that unfortunately it is "bad luck" and mother nature decided that something wasn't right in this pregnancy - we thought that was a good explation for our 6 year old who is anxious to be a big sister - we told her that we will try again real soon and not to worry - so now she knows that we are "going to get a new baby" - I at first thought the same thing you did because "everything looked good" at 7 weeks - so I definitely know the anguish you are feeling as I felt I did everything I was supposed to do and everything the dr. told me - there really isn't explanations for when these things happen - unless they happen numerous times - so keep up hope as you can always try again

 

crisy - September 29

Hi Michelle. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 7.5 weeks through a natural m|c. It was my first pregnancy. One of my best friends had the same experience like you. When she was 8 weeks pregnant the baby had no heartbeat and the doctor did a D&C. In the beginning she also thought that the doctor misdiagnosed and that her baby was alive. She was able to get pregnant again and now she has a beautiful boy who is 12 months old. I agree with Alison that your baby knows how much you loved him|her. I know that it's easy to blame ouselves for the loss but it's not our fault. God knows I still blame myself today and I feel like I'm less than a woman. The grieving part takes time and you need to take as much time as you need. I am still grieving after 5 months and I know that I will never forget my little angel. Him|her will always be my first child. I wish that your pain will ease and I will be praying for you. Alison, you are so sweet for your comments to Michelle. I am always thinking of you and praying that you will be pregnant very soon. Bless all of you ladies. Take care.

 

Cyndi - September 29

Hello Michelle I know exactly how you feel I just had my second m/c 2 days ago, this is my second m/c in 5 months, I know the pain is just horrible. I am very sorry, But sweetie I think your doctor should have waited a couple more days but The doctors know what they are talking about I always though my doctor wasn't waiting long enough or giving my baby a chance and both times he was right. Just try to tell your self God was looking for another little angel and your baby was just too perfect to be here so he chose your baby. Try to heal emotionally and try again, I am trying very hard to get through this. Hang in there the only cure is time, I feel your pain I promise. I am SO VERY SORRY.

 

Michelle - September 30

Thanks for your lovely comments. All of you became more family than anybody else at this time. We found out it was a baby girl and named her " Gabriela' so that she can be an angel of good news in heaven and earth. Alison, Q, Amy, Crisy and Cyndi, God bless all of you and I will think of you in my every prayer. love, Michelle

 

crisy - October 1

Hi Michelle. Gabriela is a very beautiful name and very Holy as well. I named my baby Rosa-Maria because I always thought it was a little girl. I planted a rosebush in her memory. It helped me to deal with my grief. Tears are flowing down my face as I write this to you. It's been 5 months and I always think of my baby everyday. I want to tell you that I feel your pain and that when I read your post I couldn't stop crying. I am so sorry for what you went through. I know that words cannot even describe the pain that we all feel because we lost our little angels. Thank you for keeping all of us in your prayers. I also keep you in my prayers. God bless you.

 

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