New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password? Need Help?  
jfox722 - October 30th, 2010 4:22 PM

Hello my name is Jennifer....I have had two miscarraiges and we are trying to get pregnant again.
I dont know what I should do...I have been taking prenatal vitamins for over 6 months. I eat as healthy as possible...I dont know what else to do? I used to smoke socially...maybe 3 a week. but I completely quit 3 months ago...I want to be completely healthy when we are trying to get pregnant again due to my fear of another miscarriage. Is it possible for me to get pregnant again? whats wrong with me? What should I do?


candys85 - November 14th, 2010 10:50 PM

Just found out I my baby's heartbeat was not there. Saw it a week ago but now they can't find it. This is our 3rd miscarriage. I really thought this was it because we have never seen a heartbeat. The doctor mentioned doing genetics testing but it costs 1200 and is not covered by insurance. At this time that is out of the question for us. I'm am heartbroken and wondering if I will ever be able to carry to term...I had a kidney transplant 10 years ago (at 15 years old) and the medicine I take could be the problem but I have to take it! While I was pregnant I took nothing for headaches, indigestion, gas...I only took my immunosuppresants. Very hurt and angry and I do not understand why this keeps happening. Miscarried on Dec 31, 2008; D and C Dec 21, 2009; and now I will have another D and C Nov 23, 2010. Holidays are so not kind to me anymore.


DOTEE55 - December 12th, 2010 12:18 AM

Had an ectopic an 2 miscarriages and the doc still says chances are great. As long as the possibility is there chances are good. I wouldn't worry. Age of course matters. Over 35 is always riskier. Just take it easy.


four_sleeping_angels2011 - January 29th, 2011 2:46 AM

Hi all, i am new to this have never chatted on any site before but im so desperate for answers. I'm sorry for your losses and i feel your pain. I had my 4th miscarriage December 14th 2010 its was a healthy baby boy i was 3 months, the only pregnancy that lasted this long as i was on progesterone and clexaine injections.
My body tried rejecting the pregnancy at 7 weeks as it always does. I went to see my specialist yesterday and he told me i have a unique condition where my body will keep rejecting and doesn't want to carry.He didn't give me the name of this but he told me not to give up we just have to keep trying different things but nothing will be guaranteed. He has now started me on clexaine injections, aspirin, and steroids to prepare my body and then progesterone and bed rest when im pregnant . Im so scared of falling pregnant again i dont think my body can handle another loss and it scares to think that i may never have a baby.


sarahpenguin - January 29th, 2011 10:48 AM

I just had my third miscarriage around New Years. I was 11 weeks. I'm not sure what's going on. First two were miscarriages, third ended up with my baby boy Isaiah (I love him soooooo much!), and fourth was a miscarriage. We're going to see the doctor to see what's happening. That's 3 quarters of my pregnancies ending in miscarriage.


cynb - February 6th, 2011 6:48 PM

Hi ladies...I cannot believe I am even looking at this kind of stuff again, I thought this sad chapter of my life had ended. I will be 37 this year and I have not been pregnant since 12/03. The scoreboard leading up to that was 4 m/c and the 1 ectopic that exploded my left fallopian tube. At 26 yrs old, in between the 3rd & 4th m/c I had laperoscopy/hysteroscopy and told that my old ruptured appendix had poisoned my right fallopian tube and it was stuffed like a sausage...I even got to see the pictures, in color.In addition, I was diagnosed stage 3 endometriosis w/adhesions (that was no surprise since I have suffered horribly every month since I was 16. The adhesions / endo was all outside of my uterus, and that was the most pathetic part-my uterus was a perfect pink little easter egg (saw that too)...but evidently incapable of carrying a pregnancy to term. I gave up at 27 and divorced at 28. The ectopic was a surprise a year later and I came very close to bleeding to death. The surgeon told me if I lived, I would probably never conceive again, and getting pregnant on my own would be all but impossible (he gave an outside 25% chance in perfect conditions, but after 4 m/c the conditions are anything but perfect.) I got a copper IUD 4/04 and closed the book on my reproductive life.

Fast forward 8 years to now...happily married to my 2nd husband for 3 years and so glad that life had other plans for me and I for it. He has no children at 45 and never wanted any. I went back to get my master's degree and felt a strong sense of pride in being a NON breeder-I felt powerful, and have had the strongest sense of self that I have had in my adult life. That debilitating depression finally gave way to 'life' a couple of years ago and I was OK to be 'me'. I finally didn't want to die every time I thought about how long life was going to be and how worthless I felt.

Then my IUD slipped (ouch) and had to be removed 4 months ago. It had done its job for 7 years so my husband volunteered to get snipped. In between that time we got careless with the condoms and something has happened...my period was on time Jan 3, 2011 and HORRIBLE and heavy to the point I thought I must be hemorrhaging. But I lived, like always, and was due again for another miserable period on 2/1. INSTEAD, I got mild, laughably mild, cramps on the 1/28 and bled just a bit. No more cramps after about an hour (they were really not even cramps) I did not even fill one tampon, but the blood was dark and lasted maybe an hour or two. After that some brownish spotting for a day then NOTHING.
This is the first period like this in my life. All m/c were a BFP then 2-3 wks later the blood test saying that my HCG was dropping and the usual "This is not a viable pregnancy". Then followed by the physically and emotionally painful miscarriages.
So, realizing the danger I may have put myself in AGAIN all these years later... I angrily, but curiously, took a HPT...saw the faintest positive in the world....maybe even evap line? Took another HPT in the morning 1/29...negative. Now I'm hooked right back to where I thought I'd left off in my 20s...my phantom pregnancy taking over my life...I must pee on every stick made by every company on earth until I am satisfied that no means NO.
Took a digital CBE on 2/2...negative (even says "NOT PREGNANT"..who's vicious marketing idea was that? Anyone who is a recurrent m/c or TTC can understand me here, WTF? If it must say something, YES or NO will do just fine...geez.)

ANYWAY, by this time I am totally distracted by all this. Pregnancy symptoms seem to be there, but all could be peri-menopause, couldn't they?
Bought 3 more hpt today at the dollar store...all negative (took them all at once, and stupidly in the middle of the day after holding my pee until I thought I would burst for 2.5 hours) Negative Negative Negative.
Still feel "pregnant"..tired, off and on weepy. Sneezed all morning for 2 days, small nose bleed yesterday, craved & ate teriyaki chicken and rice at 10am 3 days ago, cm is wetter & thicker, just a little bit nauseous...maybe? -but none of this matters, I swear I cannot judge a 'symptom' from a 'psych-out' and I am desperately trying to stave off depression. I never wanted to go through this again. I have been propelled back to the darkest time in my life and I never even saw it coming. The WANT is there and the desperation is palpable and cannot be reasoned with.

The reality is, even if I COULD conceive and was positively pregnant, I have never been able to carry to term and worse than that, it is much more likely that if I were pregnant it would be ectopic. From what I understand, after 1 ectopic your chances are great for a second and since I only have one tube that is supposedly stuffed (never did the dye test) chances are not good.

So why does every negative test hurt so much? Why does the fact that I cannot have a child hurt so much after all these years? I thought I didn't want this anymore.

And where the **** was my regular period this month? I am only 36..my mom got pregnant at 36 and her mother had her last baby at 46. My mother didn't go into menopause until after 50.

I am so confused and dismayed. My DH is wonderful and supportive but confused too...he can sense that I am hiding my hopefulness even after professing my 'happiness' at having a life without children and my dedication to growing old with him without the need to bring anyone else into it-he thought we were in it to celebrate the selfish life together. My deeply warped insecurities are now plaguing me with thoughts that he deserves to be with someone who will give him a family, not stuck with me...damaged goods. The same misery I projected onto my mother when I felt so heavy under the weight of guilt for not being able to be what she always thought I would be: a wonderful mommy to her grand babies. A failure.

Was I lying all along? To myself and him? I thought I was okay without ever having a baby. Sometimes I reflect and wonder if I really just wanted to prove that I could. It is true that the whole part of bringing a real human being into the world gets lost in the pursuit of a successful pregnancy, but I am sure it all works out for the mother in the end...I wouldn't know and I guess that has always been the rub.

But what happened to my period? I guess I will test again in a few days. I have no choice but to follow up to be sure because it could be deadly and this is not something I am willing to die for anymore. It was foolish to ever feel that way.
It is amazing how much women like us can grieve, and how we rise above it.
Ladies, my heart hurts for everyone of you that are recurrent m/c.
Those of you who have had a healthy child and also suffered losses, I am sure it hurts just as bad...but i don't know what sadness feels like before or after joy. I only know what it feels like coupled with emptiness.
I pray you all can have what you most want and I pray you save yourself from the resentment that I carried for years that alienated me from 20 year friendships and even towards my baby sister.
Too many unspoken fits of anger about how could "God" allow this person or that person to have a child they don't even want or don't care for when I can't??? I came to terms (I think...) with the reality that sometimes there isn't the fabled 'miracle' at the end of the story...I think the miracle is finding love for yourself and for your life again.
Your fertility does NOT define your life-I know that it does right now, I mean, how could it not with miserable progesterone suppositories and ultrasounds and blood tests and numbers etc. etc....it can take over your life. But it is NOT your life, it is an interruption. Apparently, in my case, it is an interruption that is never too far from the surface.

I will be glad and sad when my husband has his vasectomy and the days of tests and peeing on the sticks of hope and dismay will be over for good. Good luck to you all.


AprilJoe - March 13th, 2011 5:46 PM

I will be 39 next month (April). I have had 3 miscarriages and no live births. Is there a chance for me? Do you know, or have you expereinced, a live birth after 3 miscarraiges over the age of 39 years old?


WantToBeDad - June 23rd, 2011 6:48 PM

Hello all, my wife and I have been trying for 1.5 years. We had two miscarriages, 1st at 8 weeks and 2nd at 5 weeks.
We had an IUI last month and got pregnant again. We went for an ultrasound last week (5 weeks) and today (6 weeks), but the sac is empty and the doctor is saying we will have a third miscarriage. My wife is on blood thinners, folic acid, baby aspirin and prenatal vitamins. My sperm count and motility is excellent and my wife's tests are all normal too...

Could this be just bad luck or we may be looking at something serious and undetectable by medical science?


WantToBeDad - June 23rd, 2011 6:50 PM

I forgot to add, my wife is 27 years old and I am 30 years old.


paty2008 - June 26th, 2011 3:39 PM

Hi, Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I have now lost 6 and I am still trying even though I am 42. You both are still young I am sure you will be able to have your family.There is a grey area in this kind of problems, and I dont agree that is bad luck. I am reading an interesting book that has given me some clarity, its tittle is: The infertility Cure from Randine Lewis. You may find it useful to read it as it talks about chinesse medicine and the traditional medicine on this difficult subject. Don't give up and have faith .


SBryant32 - June 27th, 2011 7:11 PM

I haven't posted on here since I had my miscarriage last year, thanks for all the comments, and I want to say that was a ruff time for me and we all get through things like this on our own accord, but I did go on to successfully concieve I am now 34 weeks pregnant with a little boy and due on 8/10/11. Please stay encouraged and have faith because there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel however when we are going through we just can't see it but it's there and things will work out the way they should, be blessed.


ali0404 - August 2nd, 2011 11:48 PM

I have also had 3 miscarriages, the first at 4 weeks, unknown to me that i was even pregnant after taking a negative pregnancy test(I have always been irregular when it comes to my menstrual cycle, so i didnt think anything of it). The 2nd at 6 1/2 weeks, again negative test but this time i wanted a second opinion that concluded with an ultrasound of a child that had no heartbeat, and 3rd at 9 weeks, that one almost killed me literally in the ER complete with hemmoraging and seizures. And though i am young being only 20 going on 21 yrs old; i have been told so many times that i cannot have children it makes me so very discouraged. I want children, and even thought i DO beileve that everything happens for a reason and on its own time; this is the one thing that i just can't let go. I now am 5 weeks pregnant again and each day is filled with worry and disconnection for fear that i will lose this child as well. But yet at the same time each day is also a blessing with the flickering thouht that maybe just maybe i can carry to term, that one day i will hold my child in my arms and watch him/her play with their cousins. which will never be in short supply, myself being a product of 13 siblings. This is the first time that i have actually written down how i feel about all of this. It's a struggle to have to face each day with the uncertainty of whether you will ever have this chance this blessing in your life. and though it is hard as a more mature adult to go through this i honestly do believe it can sometimes be harder as a young adult to be told " you will not have kids" or "stop trying" or even "give up"


ali0404 - August 2nd, 2011 11:57 PM

I keep trying to have faith and hope as I encourage each of you as well to have and keep.To me it is just sad that the doctors that i have seen won't tell me what i have that my body will just completely reject my baby. It hurts to know that i have something wrong with me that i can't control. I can't even put a name to a face so to speak with what i have when people ask me all i can tell them is that its my misfortune and the biggest hurdle in my life, but i am so determined to overcome it that somehow deep down i still have faith. Its just a little harder to call to the surface


JustaMother - August 9th, 2011 10:22 PM

I've had 3 miscarriages since the birth of my first little guy all missed miscarriages.
Supposeld I had gestational troblastic disease with my first two miscarriages, which my doctor coined the term cancer and had me stressing to the point of making myself sick. I took the loss of all three really hard because each pregnancy progressed with all symptoms it's was just my cancerous placenta that keapt growing not the baby the baby for the first two had passed away at 8 weeks. For the third miscarriage though there was no sign of cancer I was supposedly really healthy but for some reason this baby died too since there was no cancer I opted to miscarry naturally this time and ended up miscarrying when I would have been 17 weeks but I had known since 7 weeks that the baby had stopped developing. So I've been through all the testing everything seemed great the only thing that was off was I came back anemic for both iron and vitamin B12 so I started taking them. Well that must have done it because I am now carrying a healthy baby at 18 weeks. I was ready to adopt and stop trying I was so hurt but a read one mothers story of having 12 miscarriages and she really inspired me. But what truthfully helped me allot was that fact that my children didnt have to suffer this world and won heaven without even taking a breath of air what more could a mother ask for. I did realize that they were gifts from God and they were his to take and his to give but sometimes I wanted to throw a tantrum like a small child and yell at Him that it wasn't fair even though I knew that had nothing to do with it. I made a pilgramage and promised to consecrate this child to his mother and so far God has answered my prayers but he is all wise and only he knows what's best for us even if we don' t agree.


maddies mom - August 12th, 2011 3:14 AM

Hi everyone,

This is my very 1st time commenting on any forum or thread, but when I googled & found this site,I just had to comment.I'm 35 years old (36 in Sept) & have just experienced my 3rd consecutive miscarriage. I was blessed with 1 child who is now 7 years old.I miscarried 5/10, 10/10 & 5 days ago. I'm devastated & confused as to why this is happening to me. I have a 25 year old sister w/ 5 kids that she is unable to provide for & to top that off I had to go to a baby shower last weekend & it was full of girls barely out of their teens all pregnant & just about due. I feel like my heart is being ripped out everytime I look at a pregnant woman.My 7 year old keeps asking me when will she be a big sister.....she has no idea what mommy's going through


becca_johnson - August 17th, 2011 6:06 PM

Hi everyone, Im new to the thread. I have a 3 year old daughter and in Feb 2011 I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. We again conceived this year and were expecting a baby in Feb 2012. I went to the doctor today for a routine checkup and ultrasound and was told that my baby had passed away a few weeks ago and had to have an emergency D&C today at 14 weeks. Im at the point where I desperately want another child but I dont know if I can go through this again. I now have to explain to my 3 year old why her sibling wont come home with us. This is such a horrible experience. I'm worried I will never have my second child. I'm sorry for all the other losses out there and I just wanted to say I know how you feel and what you are going through.


ADD A COMMENT:


Please login or register to post on this thread.
Start A New Discussion