Pregnant And Terrified

5 Replies
aemommy - January 17

I read this site often and am so thankful for the comfort it brings me to know that I am not alone. People that haven't been through a m/c don't really understand. They try, but they don't fully understand. I had my m/c 4 months ago, in August. My husband had just started to want to try again but I wasn't sure that I wanted to risk having another m/c. We weren't trying but we weren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy either. Now I am one week late and pregnant. I am terrified. First I got a very faint positive on the test so I started thinking somthing was wrong. I have also been having some cramping. I thought my period would be starting any day. I called my doctor and she ordered some blood tests to see if everything is okay. The first test came back and I am pregnant. I am still very early in my pregnancy. Tomorrow I go to take the second test to see if things are going as they should. I just couldn't wait until 10 or 12 weeks to know if everything is okay. I know that even if everything is okay with this test something can still go wrong. I just don't know if I can go through that again. I am praying that everything is okay. Of course, now I am paranoid. Every little cramp or weird feeling has me thinkng that something is going to go wrong. Every time I have a cramp I run to the bathroom to see if their is spotting. Is there anyway to get through this without thinking every second of every day that something is wrong? I guess I am just trying to protect myself. If I count on the worst then I won't be surprised. Maybe it keeps me from getting too attached to a baby that won't ever come. I know that none of you can really tell me that it is going to be okay and that I will go to term with this pregnancy, but there just aren't many people that truly understand. I am hoping that by "getting it out there" it will help me a little. I am just so scared and it is consuming me. I can't even sleep at night. Any suggestions on how to get past this? Is it normal to have cramps in early pregnancy or should I be concerned?

 

disneymommy79 - January 17

I wouldn't worry yourself to much. I do know how your feeling. The first time I got pg I miscarried and was completely depressed and scared to do it again. Then I got pg with my daughter a year later I wouldn't even buy or set up anything until my 9th month and I was even scared then. It's completely normal to be afraid. I just wanted to also let you know that I to took a pg test with this baby really early on I was about a week late. It came up really really light. I even took another one just to make sure thats how light it was. That one also came up light. I'm now 39 weeks this Sunday. :) I'm sure everything will be fine. Just hang in there. I stay positive. I know sometimes we don't always understand why things so painful happen. Also something else it's very common to have have a miscarriage the first time. So I'm sure everything will be fine this time around. Good luck to you. :)

 

Rhiannon - January 18

Hi. When I got pregnant again after my miscarriage I cramped for the first trimester. I was such a freak that I went to the hospital many times throughout my pregnancy. The next nine months are going to be a huge stressful rollercoaster for you. My tests were always very faint and the second time it was even twins, so I don't know why tests are so light. Good luck.

 

hailey07 - January 18

I am currently going through my first and hopefully last m/c. I know that when i first realized I was pregnant I scowered the internet and every pregnancy book I could find reading up on complications. But nothing can prepare you for the heartache of a m/c. I woulsn;t worry about having a secong m/c though. When my dr. diagnosed my miscarriage he told me that it is very possible to have a healthy baby after a m/c. I am no where near the point to start thinking about trying for another baby, but I wish you the best of luck! Just try to relax for yourself, your baby, and your husband.

 

cindernar - January 18

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two babies as well, so I know somewhat where you're coming from. I have a healthy son, who came into the world after my losses, and I'm 29 weeks pregnant with another boy. It's sad to say, and I don't know if anyone else who has lost a baby does this, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the baby while I'm pregnant, especially during the first trimester, but even until I deliver. I'm still expecting the worst, and I am not exaggerating when I say I think about it and almost prepare myself for the worst every day. I know it's probably not right, but it's almost like if you expect it, then you won't get hurt as much. I know that's not fair to the baby, and of course I do feel a connection to him. But I NEVER, EVER let myself slip into a comfort zone where I'm thinking, "Whew! Everything's OK, and the baby will be born healthy." My only advice is to take up a hobby, if you don't have one. Because if you allow yourself too much time to be idle, if you're anything like me, you will absolutely go nuts! It's like I have to force myself to think about something else for 9 months, despite this baby wiggling around. Anyway, sorry for the novel. You're in my prayers.

 

jessica72 - January 18

Aemommy, you are not alone. We all are right there with you. I had my first pregnancy end in m/c at 8 weeks. It totally grounded me and I became more aware of m/c, how common it is and became an information fiend. Basically the innocence of pregnancy is gone, but do know there are so many more success stories after m/c than not. We conceived 3 months after this m/c and things are going well, but I too don't let my guard 100% down. My husband says worry won't do me good. What will happen will happen, but it's my way of dealing with this. Just mark little milestones for you and if you're spiritual, find comfort in prayer. I know it's helped me so much with this baby. Hugs :)

 

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